Drifting
by Tabitha craft
Summary: Pacey is a cop in small town Capeside. Joey is a teenager who has a few issues with the law. They meet on opposite sides of the bars in the Capeside Police Department. You guys are amazing - thanks for reviews. I'm working on the next chapter but moving this weekend means it's only half done. I will not forget this story. I think I have an ending now. Thanks for reviewing!
1. Chapter 1

**Ok, so this idea popped into my head and I went with it. I'm pretty sure it's been done before though I've not read it. I liked the idea of a law abiding Pacey and a less law abiding Joey. You may feel Joey is a little out of character, but I feel she's true to character. She was always upfront and bolshy she just says a few inappropriate things lol.**

 **Please review - as always I'm nervous about posting. Real life is a little shaky right now so your support is wonderful!**

 **Thanks**

 **Tab x**

 **Chapter One**

'Chief brought in one more,' Jack said to Pacey. 'You mind doing her?'

'So you can go _do_ the Chief?' Pacey teased.

'I'm pretty sure I could have you for work place bullying with that kinda comment,' Jack informed Pacey but then grinned, 'and yeah, pretty much.'

'Sure, sure. I'm on duty, you're off. Seems fair,' Pacey shrugged, he would have taken the arrest regardless. 'What was she arrested for?'

'She's a drunk kid caught doing grafitti up at the university. Doug just wants to teach her a lesson.'

'Got it. You go have fun, and makes some diva related tease at my brother for me.'

'Sure, you got it,' Jack squeezed Pacey's shoulder and headed out the door.

The Capeside Police Department was small, but big enough to deal with the level of crime in the greater Capeside area. There were a few low life's, the unruly teenagers, a couple of families that spelt trouble, but it was nothing the handful of cops couldn't handle. They had a bit of trouble swing their way from Boston time to time, but the last murder had been decades earlier.

Pacey let out a weary sigh. He hated the nightshift on a week night. There was usually only a couple of guys on. One out in the patrol car and the other in the station. He'd got station duty which only beat patrol because he had ready access to coffee and the bathroom. The crime associated with weekend frivolity actually made the weekends more interesting. Sure they had the occasional long running case that they had to work on but usually the interesting stuff happened on the weekend. Unless you counted Mr Greens sudden interest in shoplifting which occurred the previous Thursday, or the civil disturbances associated with holidays. The Fourth was always a mad house. And tonight he had, he paused and looked at the arrest sheet filled in in his brothers neat script - _Josephine Potter._ Seventeen years old. He headed to the computer to create a record but found that she already had one. A long one. She'd been cautioned by his brother several times for drunken disturbances, grafitting, disturbing the peace, assault, even drugs. _Fuck_. That wasn't the headache he needed. Well he had to check on her. He wasn't going to be the cop that had some young kid kill herself, or die mysteriously. He'd better make sure she was alive, let her make her damn phone call and do the big speech and officially warn her. He assumed the only reason Doug had left it to him was because he'd promised Jack he'd leave on time, and Doug kept his promises to Jack.

'Potter,' he called into the apparently empty cell. She was of course in there, curled up in the corner. 'Potter,' he repeated looking at the jeans and knee high boots, old worn black ones that were clearly cheap plastic and not leather. The black tank top she wore had tatty shoulder straps that had fAllen off her shoulders and down her arms, and it was clear she wasn't wearing a bra. Pacey was pretty new to the job but he'd seen his fair share of tough guys. Not so many tough girls in Capeside, but there were always a few. In Capeside they tended to be rich and arrogant. The girl didn't look rich or arrogant. She looked unconscious.

'Shit,' he sighed and pulled out the keys. 'Potter,' he tried her name because he really didn't feel like calling an ambulance and dealing with that pile of paperwork. 'Josephine,' he attempted as she was just a kid. Her head turned, her face appearing under her dark mop of hair to rest on her bended knees. Pacey hoped he didn't gasp out loud, or make any ridiculous noise. She was beautiful, clearly tough as nails, but beautiful. Beautiful or not she was a kid and the kid was giving him a scathing look that would have melted his skin if she'd had superpowers.

'Don't call me that,' she bit out, practically with a snarl.

'It's your name,' he pointed out. 'You wanna make a phone call?' he asked.

'Nope,' she shook her head.

'You should call home,' he suggested.

'Don't you normally do that for minors,' she asked without shifting.

'Sure I can call,' he shrugged.

'Don't bother,' she gave a bitter, half amused laugh.

'Listen, you've been arrested. These charges might stick. I know the Cheif has tried to give you a chance but if the store manager decides to prosecute there's nothing we can do.'

'So he prosecutes,' she gave a couldn't care less shrug, and picked at her nail. She really was far too pretty Pacey decided.

'Cheif Witter has made allowances for you...'

'I don't even get why. It's not like he wants to fuck me,' she straightened out her ridiculously long legs and turned to look at him, looking at his eyes flick quickly away from her legs and to his paper work. 'You...I think _you'd_ fuck me,' she gave a dangerous little laugh and got to her feet, walking towards him with her hips swaying. 'Oh that's funny,' she laughed as she read his badge. 'Let me guess - the Cheif is your big brother? That's hysterical.'

'You think that's funny, huh?' Pacey was not amused.

'Yeah I do,' she smirked at him, then paused, her look turning sultry. 'You're even better looking than your brother,' she tilted her head to one side and he made very sure he did not look at her but at the chart.

'I'm gonna call this number...for...Bodie Wells?'

'My guardian,' she gave a small shrug which he would have seen if he'd looked, but it felt off to have a kid try and sexually arouse him.

'Listen kid, I'll call this guy and see if he can come and get you.'

'He won't,' she stated with a roll of her eyes. He was looking this time.

'Sick of you messing around and getting into trouble?'

'Actually he won't be able to leave the baby.'

'You have a kid?' he looked at her in surprise and again felt a jolt of surprise at the sight of her large eyes staring at him knowingly.

'Sure,' she shrugged.

'This guy's your boyfriend?' he hedged. That didn't seem right if the kid was only seventeen.

'If you want,' she offered gamely and sat back on the bench, her long legs stretched out in front of her.

'I'll go speak to Mr Wells and see what he has to say then,' he turned to walk away listening to her soft laugh,

'Knock yourself out.'

* * *

Pacey held the phone between his ear and shoulder as he tapped a pen against the hard copy of her file.

'Hello?' the voice on the other end sounded sleepy.

'Bodie Wells?'

'Not again. You're fucking kidding me right?

'This is Capeside Police Department,' Pacey began.

'Listen man, there's only one place that calls late enough to wake me and my kid up,' he growled. 'I know who the fuck it is.'

'We have Josephine Potter in custody,' he began.

'You're welcome to her,' the voice on the other end gave a gruff laugh.

'So you're not coming to get her? This is serious you know.'

'She didn't kill someone?'

'No...'

'And she wasn't raped? Attacked?'

'Well no...'

'Then it ain't fucking serious,' and the dial tone sounded in Pacey's ear. Irritated Pacey dropped the phone back into its cradle.

* * *

'Mr Wells decided he wouldn't be coming,' he told her.

'Colour me surprised,' she didn't look up.

'I can call social services you know,' he offered. He meant it to be nice but her head whipped around to look at him,

'You mean so you can completely fuck up my life? _Thanks_ ,' the sarcasm dripped from the word.

'If home is an untenable situation...'

'You know what's untenable? Interfering know it alls who don't actually know anything,' she turned back to stare at the wall.

'You're seventeen...' he began.

'No way! Wow. I thought I was twelve...'

'Haha, so droll,' he sighed. He knew why his brother had left this one to him. He was obviously at the end of his patience.

'Call social services if you think some group home in the city would be better than a guy who mostly cares.'

'Didn't sound like he cares...' Pacey pointed out.

'I'm not dying am I? I'm not at risk, unless I need to worry about you. Do I need to worry about you?'

'No...'

'So why send me somewhere where kids only churn out the other end more fucked up than they went in?'

'Fine. But any time...'

'Whatever. I'm going to sleep if that's ok with you?'

'Sure,' he grumbled and headed out.

* * *

'You can leave,' Pacey opened the cell door the following morning after a call from the store manager who'd felt pity after Pacey's plea on the girls behalf. He'd given her an official warning and thrn she was free to go. He watched as the girl picked herself up off the floor, glaring at him as she passed him on her way out. He hadn't much choice to release her when it became clear no one was coming to get her and she'd received her official warning. Doug had pulled him to one side,

'See if you can't reason with her. You're not much older than she is.'

'Six years...'

'Six years is nothing, it wasn't that long ago that you were a smart mouth punk.'

'Fine.'

'I think you could help this kid Pacey. You and she are a lot alike,' Doug had said.

And so he'd unlocked the cell and followed her out of the station. She lived a couple of miles out of town.

'Look. You keep fucking up and you're gonna end up in jail,' he told her.

'Ah, words of advice from the ex Cheifs son,' she snorted derisively.

'And drugs, seriously?' he gave her a look.

'You're not the only one taking on the family business,' she gave him a sweet smile. If her eyes weren't scowling it would have been quite stunning. At his confused expression she gave a soft laugh, 'your dad arrested my dad, several times in fact.'

'And you want to be like him?' he gave her a hard look.

'No one cares what I wanna be like. This is the life I'm in,' she turned on heel and began to walk away. He could see the holes in the soles of her goddamned boots and it made his stomach clench in an unfamiliar way.

'Look kid I can drive you home,' he offered and she turned around, walking backwards,

'I'm not going home,' she laughed.

'Where are you going?'

'Where every seventeen year old goes - high school. Gotta get myself an education,' she winked and turned back around walking away. Pacey found his eyes dropping to her ass, watching it as she walked away, before shaking himself and heading back into the station.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks for the amazing response - it's so great when you start something new, especially when it's a little different. I love reading them and they definitely keep me writing.**

 **Please keep letting me know what you think!**

 **Chapter Two**

Pacey scowled as he sat in his police cruiser. Capeside was too small for them to work as partners on an average weekday evening. On Fridays and Saturdays and holidays they doubled up on all routes. But it was Wednesday and apparently there was trouble at the local supermarket. He entered, after radioing the station. There seemed to be a crowd at one of the check stands.

'You touch me and I swear to god I'll punch you,' the voice was soft and sweet.

'Just give us back the stolen items,' the manager was saying.

'I haven't stolen _anything_ ,' the girl was vehement in her denial.

'I saw her slip chocolate and baby food in her bag,' old lady Ryan insisted primly.

'Listen, you're going to have to come with me,' the manager repeated.

'You can't touch me if I say no. If you do then you're invading my body space when I've stated clearly that I don't want you to,' she attempted with a look of contempt.

'You need to be locked up kid. I've honestly had enough,' the manager was clearly irritated, at the end of his tether even and Pacey needed to step in.

'Stand back please, coming through,' he stated loudly as the eager onlookers reluctantly gave up their front row seats to "the show." 'Potter,' he announced grimly.

'Fucking great,' she leant back against the check stand, her long hair loose and cascading wildly down her back. She couldn't have presented a greater contrast to the people around her, with her black skirt and tank top and the dark eye makeup. Especially with her long bare legs and those ugly boots.

'This girl's stolen, and it's not the first time. Always coming in here with her sticky fingers...' the manager stated.

'I saw her with my own two eyes. It's a scandal how young people behave these days...'

'Of course no one ever stole in the Stone Age,' the girl snarked, and some man sniggered.

'You need to come with me Ms Potter,' he stated, deciding that removing her from the public eye was probably best.

'I didn't steal anything,' she glared at him.

'Then you won't mind showing me your bag,' he looked at her expectantly and she narrowed her eyes at him.

'Fine,' she opened up her large shoulder bag and shoved it at him. He turned his attention to the bag. There were bits of makeup, a packet of gum, tampons, a rock which was entirely bizarre, half a granola bar, a badly bruised apple, a pair of flip flops, and a lacy black thong that flustered him. There was no chocolate bar, and no baby food.

'There's nothing stolen in here,' he announced to Mrs. Ryan and the store managers loud tsks.

'But I saw her,' Mrs. Ryan insisted.

'You think you see a lot of things I'm sure, dear,' the girl patronized and Mrs. Ryan gave her a hard look.

'You're a disgrace. I bet your mother would turn in her grave...'

'You don't know anything about my mom,' the girl stared the old lady down, and she had the grace to look intimidated. 'You don't know what kind of woman she was.'

'If I remember she didn't steal or try and scare old ladies.'

'Listen I didn't steal anything and I think you've got it backwards. You wrongly accuse me of theft and call me a disgrace - anyone would think you're trying to scare me. So if we're done here, I'm off,' she pushed off from her leaning post against the check out and pushed through the people.

'Potter,' he immediately followed.

'What?'

'Your bag,' he handed the bag back to her which she took with a slight flush.

'Thanks,' she muttered and stalked off.

'Hold it,' he yelled as she exited the store and she came to a halt under the awning, her foot tapping and a pout on her gorgeous mouth. 'I'm giving you a ride home.'

'I didn't do anything,' she glared and stomped her foot. He gave her a scathing look,

'Sure you didn't,' he walked pointedly to the cruiser and held open the door to the passenger side. With a withering sigh and a roll of her eyes she moved to the car and dropped into the seat obstinately putting her feet up on the dash. He dropped into his seat and ignored his irritation at her feet on the dash, those old boots of hers looking painfully inadequate at serving their purpose as foot coverings. 'Strap in,' he told her but she ignored him, looking out the window. 'Fine,' he huffed and reached across and grabbing the belt pulled it across her body ensuring he didn't touch her once.

'They're all gonna think you're fucking me,' she told him as she stared out the window.

'They're gonna think I'm doing my job,' he radioed into the station, 'Deputy Witter here. It's an all clear on the Market disturbance. I'm just taking Josephine Potter home. Over.'

'Sure thing, understood,' Audrey on the dispatch radio stated. He put the radio back in place and started the cruiser.

'Are you going to charge me?' she asked looking at him.

'For taking jars of baby food?' he asked.

'And a chocolate bar,' she pulled the snickers from inside her jacket and obstinately opened it. She took a bite and then offered it to him,

'I'm good, thanks,' he gave her a deep look. 'What do you need Potter?'

'Nothing,' she scowled.

'Do I need to investigate this Bodie?' he asked and she actually laughed,

'No,' she shook her head. 'He's the good guy.' Pacey stared at the road. Bodie hadn't seemed like the good guy.

'He left you in jail for the night,' Pacey pointed out.

'So he didn't have to wake the baby,' she shrugged.

'Maybe you and the baby would be better elsewhere...' he trailed off leaving the insinuation hanging in the air,

'Elsewhere?' she asked with a harsh laugh.

'There are places. If a relationship is abusive...'

'Look. You're being nice to me and as long as you're being nice to me I'm going to take advantage. I'm not begging to be saved. You need to keep your nose out.'

'You're a minor Potter, and you're breaking the law - it's not that simple.'

'You said you weren't going to charge me,' she turned to him in outrage.

'No I didn't. I merely insinuated it and got you to admit to the theft,' he pointed out, wincing under her fury,

'You're a crafty shit aren't you,' she put the chocolate bar away half eaten and seemed to shrink into the seat.

'You're an unrepentant bitch,' he shot back.

'The baby needs to eat and we don't have any money. You'd rather I let him starve?' she pouted, staring out the window.

'Why don't you have any money?'

'Why don't you mind your own business?' she unplugged before the car had come to a complete stop in front of her run down mobile home. The home was a cheap, incredibly old mobile home, which hadn't seen the benefit of repair and maintenance, though the spot was pretty. 'I'll do whatever you want. I will. Please don't charge me...'

'Anything I want?' he asked and she nodded, ' _Stop committing crimes_ ,' he stated.

'Find me an alternative,' she snarked back and jumped out of the car, cringing as she heard him get out too. 'Bodie,' she yelled and less than twenty seconds later Pacey saw a tall, broad African American guy step out of the door, a tiny baby in his arms.

'You got caught?' he stared at her and she nodded,

'That old bag Mrs. Ryan.'

'Fuck,' the guy swore and handed her the baby. 'It's alright Joey. I should never have asked,' he rubbed the girls shoulder, then bent and kissed her head. 'You wanna talk to me?' he stared intimidatingly at Pacey.

'She's a minor,' Pacey wasn't impressed.

'I know that.'

'You asked her to steal?'

'From the food bank bin,' Bodie clarified. 'And only when we need the food.'

'You took that food from the food bank bin?' Pacey stared in open surprise.

'People are giving it to the needy. We need it. I was just lucky there was baby food,' she sat on the grass and sat the baby on her knees facing her, periodically dropping her knees which made the baby laugh. He watched her make faces at the baby and felt a sudden surge of pity, and something else, a strange constriction on his throat and a burn in his eyes. He swallowed it down.

'She's going to end up in prison,' he said instead.

'For taking food to survive?'

'Why don't you go to the actual food bank?' he asked.

'Look, they do their best but it isn't always enough. We ran out,' Bodie was harsh and to the point.

'Are you looking for work?'

'Look Mr Fix it, I have the kid and she's gotta go to school. She's not stupid and she has to go to school. I work nights when there's work,' he narrowed his eyes at Pacey and Pacey could sense that he was losing the guy. 'It's our business.'

'Sure, it's your business. She's had three official warnings. Next time she's going to be charged and she'll serve time, I can almost guarantee it now it's so close to her birthday. She needs to stop the underage drinking, stop the public disruptions, quit doing graffiti, no stealing and absolutely no drugs.'

'She doesn't do drugs. You're not fucking doing drugs are you Joey?' Bodie looked over his shoulder and narrowed his eyes.

'Nope, I don't do drugs.'

'You were caught with dope,' Pacey pointed out.

'Selling drugs is the family business,' she informed him sweetly.

'I'm a cop. _Do you want to go to jail_?' he couldn't believe the girl. She was certifiably insane.

'I'm not dealing drugs right now,' she shrugged, 'and I don't have anything on me. I'm pretty sure I'm _all_ talk.'

'Well you need to be careful what you say. People are losing their sympathy.'

'Mrs. Ryan was once sympathetic?' she laughed, as did Bodie.

'Look I'm serious, you gotta quit fucking around,' Pacey said.

'Sure,' she nodded.

'You wanna be taken from your baby?' he attempted.

'This isn't my baby,' she rolled her eyes. His mind flittered back to the jail cell when hd'd asked if she had a baby and she'd just answered _sure_ , and _if you want_ , or something like that.

'What _is_ your relationship?' he asked feeling that the situation might be more fucked up than he thought. He was already mentally preparing a course of action to ensure the safety and well being of both minors.

'I'm her guardian.'

'And how were you given guardianship?' he pushed watching as Bodie and Joey exchanged a look.

'My moms dead and my dads in jail. My sister...she left. Bodie was her boyfriend and this is their baby. My sister was my guardian and she left me with Bodie,' her chin lifted and she looked fierce in her defiance. It was a much better situation than dealing with a much older guy and a seventeen year old in a sexual relationship.

'Where did your sister go?'

'Ain't that the million dollar question,' Bodie answered. 'Listen, I'm sure you're thinking you can come in here all Mr Big Shot and "change lives" or whatever bullshit it is you're thinking, but you're not welcome. We're family and you gotta keep your nose out.'

'And she's gotta keep her nose clean,' Pacey stated aggressively.

'Sure,' Bodie shot a look at Joey who shrugged dismissively.

'I can try,' she conceded.

'Consider this your last official warning,' he stated and headed for his cruiser.

'Ass,' he heard her mutter as he got into the cruiser, trying hard to pretend he hadn't heard.

* * *

'Really Potter? Really?' he stared at her as she stood before a large bare wall in the centre of town with a backpack clearly full of spray cans. He leaned against the wall. The girl couldn't seem to get it through her thick head that she was going to end up in prison. 'And after our talk last month.' She didn't seem to be listening to him and she pulled out her can and shot it at the wall where she'd put some sort of paper tape to mark off sections. 'Ok, drop the can and put your hands on the wall,' he stated.

'I'm not doing anything wrong,' she narrowed her eyes at him and continued to spray.

'Listen kid,' he growled, 'they been ringing in from all over town about this latest rebellious act or whatever the fuck it is...'

'I'm not doing anything wrong and I'm an adult not a kid, so stop your patronizing bs ok,' she dropped the red and picked up blue.

'You have the right to remain...'he began and she laughed,

'You're arresting me for putting art on my wall...'

'Your wall?' he stuttered in surprise.

'Birthday gift from the old man,' she gave an indignant sniff, 'my very own graffiti wall for the whole month.' He stared at her dumbstruck. It was an excellent present and he had a niggle deep in his belly wishing he'd done it for her. Of course thoughts like that were dangerous, especially about hard ass, beautiful girls he was supposed to keep out of prison.

'I'm assuming you have paperwork,' he asked instead.

'Well duh,' she rolled her eyes and continued spraying the wall, her tone entirely dismissive.

'I'll need to see the paperwork,' he could roll his eyes too. Could she be any more pedantic?

'Well why didn't you say?' she smirked. 'It's in my back pocket.' His eyes zeroed in on the white paper in the back pocket of her rather short shorts. It wasn't like she had it all hanging out but he could see a lot of her long tanned legs, and of course the shape of her ass.

'Pass me the papers Potter,' he ordered firmly. Or so he liked to think but she just laughed brightly,

'Oh but I'm busy and as I'm doing nothing wrong, so no,' she half sang, adding some more tape to the wall and pulling out a canister of gold paint.

'You need to prove it before I arrest you,' he stated firmly.

'Fine,' she dropped the canister and wiped her hands on her shorts before pulling the paper work from her back pocket and taking a step in his direction, then holding it out. He took it, ignoring how pretty the specks of gold looked on the tanned skin of her hands. Ignoring her bitten nails, and ignoring how his heart rate spiked when her fingers accidentally brushed his. He unfolded the papers and saw what appeared to be a legitimate rental agreement for the wall for one month signed by Bodie Wells, and the guy he knew to own the apartment block.

'He know you're planning to graffiti the side of the building rather than put up a billboard?'

'How the hell would I know?' she shoved the paper work back into her pocket and picked up her gold spray. Pacey looked properly for the first time at the wall and was surprised that it didn't look like graffiti but art of some kind. He was no art critique, nor did he particularly understand art but whatever she was doing wasn't atrocious. It was kind of wonderful. Instead of heading off he radioed into the station and updated them so they could explain the situation to the next citizen that decided to report the girl with the cans of paint, then he stood watching her, looking at the way her shoulder blades stood out when she stretched, watching as she kept swiping the same piece of hair from her eyes, the look of concentration in her eyes as she remained one hundred percent focussed on her work.

He hadn't realized quite how long he had stood watching until Doug radioed him with reports of an erratic driver. He looked away from the girl and back to the art work.

'It's good you know - really good,' he told her.

'It's therapy,' she stated with a casual shrug not even bothering to look at him. With reluctance he turned and headed back to his cruiser.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hi All,**

 **Your reviews mean a lot so I thank you profusely every time I post and then follow it up by begging for more - I am apparently very needy!**

 **So thank you for reviews and please keep reviewing!**

 **P.s. I'm off camping so the earliest I can post again will be Sunday. It is a five hour journey home so hopefully I'll have time lol**

 **p.p.s this chapter is nearly 8000 words - that must deserve reviews;-)**

 **Chapter Three**

' _It was always you and me, always_...' her drunken singing was actually pretty good. She had a sweet voice.

'I thought you were keeping your nose clean these days...' Pacey observed the three quarters full bottle of tequila. She was sat on the dock, actually pretty near his boat though she couldn't have known that. It was a cold November evening but all she had on were those ridiculously old boots of hers and a black hoody, the hood pulled up over her long dark hair. Her moonlit features casting her in an oddly surreal light. Of course the realities of drunken teenagers wasn't usually surreal, more a pain in the neck.

' _Always when we fight, I kiss you once or twice and everything's forgotten and I know you hate that_ ,' she sang ignoring him. Sighing, he tried to decide how cop to go and in the end dropped to the dock beside her. It wasn't as though his approach thus far was doing a thing to alter her destructive path.

'We had a report...' he began but she dropped her head to his shoulder surprising him. It was entirely inappropriate but the sigh sounded real.

'It's tradition,' she interuptted.

'Getting paralytic on the end of the dock in the freezing November weather is _tradition_?'

'This is where my best friend killed herself. So every year I come here, get drunk and think about her.'

'Your best friend killed herself?' Pacey asked feeling like he'd been hollowed out inside.

'There's a reason Mrs. Ryan hates me,' Joey muttered slurping more tequila.

'What's Mrs. Ryan got to do with your best friend...' he gestured for her to fill in the name.

'Jen. Her granddaughter. Under her care at the time,' Joey supplied without her usual derision and scowl. 'Jen was wonderful. Out of control in a big way - that's why her parents sent her here. She was sleeping around back in New York, doing drugs - all of it. When she got here she was trying really hard. She really was. That's why her grandmother didn't like the fact that Jen liked me. I was a bad influence. But Jen, she had her heart set on me as a friend thank fuck. I don't even know why she killed herself, that's the worst thing.'

'What happened?' he asked entranced.

'We were meant to meet here. When I got here she was dead. She hadn't seemed depressed. You know, normal teenage stuff aside. She took her mom's disinterest hard, and her grandfathers death but we talked. Her note didn't really explain but she'd taken a bunch of pills and swallowed them down with tequila. I called an ambulance, did CPR, I even tried to get her to be sick but she was dead. Entirely so. Not a chance of bringing her back,' she sighed again. He wondered whether the alcohol she'd consumed was making her share so readily although there was no discernible slur to her words.

'And Mrs. Ryan blames you?' he asked shooting a look at her. She was staring at the moon dappled water, her breath white in the frigid air.

'Something like that,' she dismissed him absentmindedly.

'Look, officially I should take you in. You're getting drunk in a public place and you're underage,' he stared at her waiting for her to look at him and at length she did,

'I know you _should_ ,' she looked at him and he felt like it was the first time she'd paid him any real attention, her eyes unabashedly roving from his face, all the way down his body, lingering in places that made him decidedly _uncomfortable_ before landing back on his face. 'I think you and I should be friends,' she stated with a flirty lilt, 'I think I wouldn't mind being _friends_ with you,' her hand landed on his thigh, 'if we were friends you'd shut up about arresting me all the time,' she fluttered her eyes at him and he stared at her dumbly before he felt her hand on his cock, a soft rub and a gentle squeeze more than enough to have blood rushing south at a ridiculous rate.

'Take your hand off of me,' he stated firmly wishing that his heart wasn't hammering quite so loudly.

'You really want my hand off of you,' she rubbed a little harder and he let out an involuntary noise before pushing up abruptly from the dock,

'I asked you to take your hand off of me,' he repeated, his face burning red.

'You're no fun,' she sighed.

'You need to get up,' he stated.

'Sure,' she laughed softly, moving entirely too close to him as she stood, her warm breath fanning across his face smelling like mint and tequila. For a nano second he wanted to kiss her, the urge so strong he feared it might overpower him, but he got out his cuffs instead.

'You gonna make me use these?'

'You're really arresting me?' she looked so innocent in that moment that he had second thoughts.

'Look, you can let me give you a ride home and we'll forget it, but don't you ever touch me like that again,' he put the cuffs away as she saluted,

'Yes sir,' she stalked somewhat drunkenly up the dock heading for the cruiser.

* * *

She sure huffed a lot about getting into the car, taking the front passenger seat before he could suggest she get in the back. Despite her exaggerated irritation once she was in and he was seated beside her, and the engine was on, she didn't hesitate to switch the radio station to something horrific. He grabbed his radio and called the station,

'This is Deputy Witter. I've sorted the issue at the dock. I'm out for the evening. See you tomorrow.'

'Alright, see you tomorrow,' Audrey's dulcet tones filled the car, 'or sooner,' she added and then there was the click.

'No way,' he stated about the music change, switching the car radio back to his favourite station.

'This isn't music,' she curled up in the seat, her grubby boots on the leather Doug insisted he kept pristine. She turned the heat up and held her hands in front of the vent. Pacey ignored the urge to stare at her and focussed on the world. Pacey had _known_ a lot of women. He'd been sleeping with girls since his high school English teacher deflowered him at fifteen, and he enjoyed sex. He didn't have a certain type, certain girls did it for him and certain girls didn't. The girl sat next to him was a fucking turn on and a tease to boot. Despite not having a type per say, this girl was nothing like what he normally went for. She was surly, incredibly so and she didn't have big tits. If there was one thing the girls normally had it was indeed big tits. And a smile. Ok so maybe he did have a type. Big tits and light of heart, an easy sense of humour, and generally in brighter and cleaner clothing. The girl next to him was none of those things - her tits were small, even if they did look pert and edible, she was most definitely not light of heart, he hadn't found any sense of humour in her yet and her clothing was almost exclusively black, worn and dirty.

'You're trying to tell me that crap you had on before was music?' he asked and she smirked,

'Well no, but they don't always play what I like on the radio do they,' she gave him a withering look but then smiled which caught him off guard. It was a really pretty smile and for the first time it seemed to be genuine.

'So what do you like that's not played on the radio?' he asked.

'Old stuff,' she shrugged.

'Meaning? Are we talking Madonna?'

'Firstly Madonna is occasionally still current and no, we're not talking Madonna,' she shivered and so he leaned over and turned up the heat.

'So what are we talking about?' he took a quick look at her watching as she brushed her hair behind her ears and then yawned, closing her eyes.

'I like the Kinks, the Smiths, even Led Zeppelin. I adore Fleetwood Mac.'

'So old and British?' he teased and she laughed, a noise that sounded like soft rain and made the car feel instantly warmer, in his opinion anyway. He smiled in response to her laugh,

'They had some rough years in the eighties and I'm not even gonna start a debate about the nineties...'

'You have a problem with Oasis?' he asked grinning and she nodded drunkenly,

'Oh yeah I have a problem with Oasis. Blur I can tolerate but the Spice Girls? Come on. Radiohead are awesome, Supergrass I can't stand...'

'I'm sorry you lost me,' he muttered.

'Supergrass. They weren't as big as Radiohead...'

'And they're connected how?' he chuckled a little,

'Oh they're both from Oxford. Supergrass had this one big song, _Alright_.'

'Huh?'

' _We are young, we run green, keep our teeth, nice and clean_...' she sang and it did sound familiar. She had a nice voice. She wasn't going to be a recording artist, but it was sweet and she could carry a tune.

'I don't hate it...'

'Oh they were _alright_ I guess,' she said and her eyes absolutely twinkled. He laughed loudly. Maybe she was funny.

'I'll look them up on you tube when I get home,' he promised.

'If you want to come in I can play it for you?' she offered and unlike their previous interactions there was a sincerity this time.

'I shouldn't...' he hedged because really he shouldn't.

'If it would make you feel better you can walk me to the door, you know to ensure the drunk girl makes it home just fine and then we'll just leave the door open, you can "rest" on the porch and I'll play it,' she gave him a look and he laughed again,

'Ok, fine. I can listen to a song. We won't wake the baby?' he asked and she shook her head.

'Bodie and Alex, they sleep out the back. There's the kitchen and dining area between them and my room.'

'I can't go into your room,' he stated primly 'living area only.'

'Sure,' she smirked, and jumped out as he pulled up in front of her home. She waited for him to jump out of the car and then slid her hand into his, totally surprising him. He knew it was because she was drunk but it still felt nice. 'Make sure you whisper,' she tugged him in the front door which opened onto the living room. 'You want a beer?'

'No, thanks though,' he sat stiffly, his uniform making him only too aware of how bizarre the situation was.

'You can relax Deputy,' she said in a teasing voice sitting on the floor and pulling out a record player. 'You're off duty, you're not here on official business, I'm no longer a minor. You can listen to music with me. We're not breaking any laws,' she grabbed a blanket and shoved it at him.

'Maybe a beer wouldn't kill me,' he acquiesced and she practically flew to her feet before handing him a bottle she'd already opened. 'You actually have records?' he asked and she nodded, 'but you're not some DJ?' he was teasing and she shook her head with a smile.

'I just love the crackle. I can't help it. It doesn't feel like music without the crackle, without the ritual of changing the record, lowering the arm and making sure the needle is in the exact right place.'

'So what are you gonna play me first?' he asked.

' _Alright_ by Supergrass of course,' she opened a box and pulled out a small record. 'You know what size this is?'

'Nope,' he popped the p.

'It's a 45. Most singles are on 45s, albums are on 33s,' she put the record on the player and flipped a switch, then another which caused the record to spin. 'The arm used to have an automatic function but it broke,' she shrugged and moved it across to the record before the song began to play. Her eyes were fixed on him as the ridiculously bobby, Brit pop record played and he laughed.

'I don't hate it, but I don't love it,' he stated when the song was over and she grinned at him,

'It's _alright_ right?' she smiled and he smiled back, feeling stupid but unable to help feeling entirely animated when she turned that bright old smile of hers on him.

'Right. Play me your favourite song,' he urged and she immediately put the Supergrass record away, handling the record carefully, before pulling out another 45 and putting it on the player. Again she flicked it on and then carefully moved the arm across before the needle was on the record. The scratching noise proceeded the song. He listened, attempting to ignore how listening to music with this girl made him feel all weird inside, because it did make him feel weird. But wasn't that the point of music? To make people feel things that weren't necessarily real? To heighten our own emotions? It probably wasn't the girl. He'd seen beautiful girls before and if he didn't fuck them, they'd never been hard to resist. If they weren't interested or he wasn't available he was pretty good at ignoring the hot. So it probably wasn't the girl, but like she said something about the scratch of the needle on the record, the anticipation of the track, the otherwise quiet house.

'Itchycoo Park by the Small Faces,' she announced when the song was done. He'd heard the song before, but wouldn't have been able to say what it was called or who'd sung it.

'Why do you like it so much?'

'It was mostly written based on a leaflet about Oxford...'

'Oxford again?' he arched his brows in amusement and she blushed. It was the cutest thing in the world,

'It's about dreaming spires, and drugs, and you know what an Itchycoo is?'

'Enlighten me?'

'There were these buds, I forget what plant they were from. I only read this once. But British kids in the fifties, they used to burst these pods down each other's backs and the seeds they itched. They called them Itchycoos. I just love that.'

'Your favourite song is one you can hardly relate to,' he pointed out.

'That's my favourite escaping song, it makes me feel like anything is possible and I like to feel that way even it is only for two minutes or so. If you want my favourite wallowing song, then that's something else.'

'Play it,' he ordered and gestured to his empty beer bottle. She nodded so he jumped up and got another, ignoring the way the mostly empty fridge made him feel guilty and question the existence of so much beer, while she rummaged through her records, before pulling out a 33 and putting on a specific track. Pacey listening to the song, absorbing it. It was pretty good. 'What is it?'

'Not sixties and not British,' she smiled and he grinned.

'So?'

'It's by Elliott Smith. The song is called Pitseleh. It's about unrequited love though I can never make up my mind who's love is unrequited, his, or the person in love with him. Either way I find it gives me that feeling inside, that squirmy, _someone gets me_ feeling.'

'I know the feeling,' he nodded. 'Are you in unrequited love?' he asked carefully before looking down.

'I sometimes feel that I'm in an unrequited life,' she looked down. 'As for love, well I've thought I was in love before,' she put the record back in its sleeve. 'I mean, it's not hard to imagine yourself in love with someone. Especially when you don't have a lot of kindness in your life. Then a little bit seems to go a long way. You probably know him...Dawson Leery?' she was unabashed.

'Dawson Leery?' he nearly spit out his beer. He'd gone to school with Dawson. They were actually friends. He didn't have the first clue how to equate the rule breaking waif in front of him with Dawson "rules are my middle name" Leery.

'Yes,' she laughed at his expression, the sound again entirely wonderful to his ears.

'How on earth do you know Mr Hollywood?' he asked, a load of dark and inappropriate thoughts flitting through his mind at lightening speed that explained a connection between the kid in front of him and Dawson Leery.

'Jen used to live next door to him. When we were fifteen. He was...' she bit her lip as she tried to calculate,

'Twenty, twenty one,' Pacey filled in and she nodded,

'Yeah. He was home from college. Jen and I used to spy on him,' she smiled. 'He just had this perfect life. Those parents and that picture perfect little sister. That beautiful house.'

'So you never actually spoke to the guy?' Pacey asked.

'Once. I was on the end of the dock by his house. I was waiting for Jen who was being yelled at by her grandmother. He sat beside me and he was so...clean...'

'Clean?' Pacey couldn't help the small laugh. Clean _was_ a redeeming feature of Dawson's.

'He asked me to blow him off,' Joey stated and Pacey couldn't have been more surprised, and he spat out his beer as a result. She looked up at him and laughed softly, though a little bitterly, 'I know. There was some preamble, some chit chat. I can't even remember what he said exactly that he could even insert that into a conversation. I was fifteen and Jen and I had spent all summer making up stories about this guy, fantasizing about how our lives might be different with a guy like Dawson...'

'You did it?' he interjected with incredulity.

'Sure,' she shrugged. 'At fifteen I was naive enough to think that if I did something like that it would make the guy want me forever.'

'And it didn't?'

'No, he went back to LA the next day without a goodbye.'

'Jackass,' he muttered in a low voice, a little disgusted by his friend taking advantage. Then again at twenty one he may not have been able to refuse a blow job, and he may have asked.

'We were just stupid kids to him I'm sure,' she crawled across the room and put her hands on his knees. 'If you're jealous I can give you one,' she looked up at him with teasing eyes, her mouth hinting at a smile. Up close he could see that her eyes weren't just brown, but a whole array of colours, brown around the pupil, then grey and green. She was stunning, and apparently offering him a blow job which he wanted to accept in a heart beat because those full lips wrapped around his cock was all he could suddenly think about. Instead of answering he said nothing. Her hands slid up his thighs and her fingertips brushed against his extremely hard cock.

'No,' he put his hands on hers and pushed them off. 'No I'm not jealous,' he reiterated though he was extremely jealous at that moment, 'and I don't want a blow job,' he lied.

'You do,' she flopped back next to the record player and put the disc away before selecting another, 'all men always want a blow job.'

'In your experience?' he asked and she nodded, not meeting his eyes,

'Except for you Witters. Your dad he wasn't one to take advantage of either my mom or my sister. Let's face it your brother just isn't that kind of guy and if he was he'd rather Bodie. But you. I thought you'd take advantage. I like men who don't try and take advantage.'

'You give out blow jobs like they're lolly pops?' he asked.

'No,' she rolled her eyes, 'I use them to get what I need, if I have to. Men taught me that,' she admitted.

'Men are dicks,' he was disgusted. The girl had only just turned eighteen.

'Men think with their dicks,' she clarified and he nodded. 'And they have ways of getting you to do things you don't want to. They make all kinds of false promises.'

'Not all men,' he clarified and she looked at him.

'We'll see,' was all she said and put the needle onto the record she'd selected. He was surprised when the record began to play.

'The Velvet underground,' he smiled even though he didn't really feel like it after their conversation.

'Yeah,' she jumped up and got him another beer.

'I can't drink all your beer,' he shook his head, 'and I have to get home.'

'Not my beer. It's Bodie's,' she gave him a wicked little grin and he laughed, taking the beer she proffered.

'Sure.'

'I'd still be drinking if I wasn't sat here with the law,' she pointed out. She'd definitely sobered up a little. In fact he wasn't entirely sure how drunk she'd actually been when he turned up.

'What's Bodie like? He gonna be mad?'

'He'd be mad if he thought I'd slept with you. He knows I'll replace the beer.'

'By stealing it?' he asked and she rolled her eyes,

'A cop is still a cop, even after two beers,' she didn't actually answer his question. 'And Bodie is better than anyone I might have got in the social services system. He's a good dad to Alex. He's harsh as houses these days, since Bessie split. Bessie didn't know how good she had it, that's the honest truth. He was a chef you know. Could make gorgeous food. He was fun as well. Made Bessie laugh and accepted that I was going to be a part of life with Bes. She was pregnant before you could blink. She split when Alex was only three months old.'

'What made her go?' Pacey asked.

'She didn't exactly leave a note,' her eyes rolled in her head.

'You know what I mean Potter,' he rolled his right back, slightly mocking.

'Fine. I think she had that depression. After the baby comes. I think she had something more extreme. I looked it up once she started doing all these crazy things. She became obsessed that Bodie was fucking me, and that made her mad at both of us.'

'He wasn't?'

'No. Bodie has always treated me like I'm a kid. His kid.'

'But she got the idea in her head?'

'Yeah. She kept drinking, leaving Alex. I'd come home from school and find him alone and screaming. I stopped going to school then, and Bessie, one morning not long after, she was just gone.'

'That's...harsh...' he didn't know what to say.

'Yeah, well it was especially harsh when Bodie lost his job. Of course he wouldn't let me stay home to look after Alex, not full time anyway. He's kinda obsessed with me getting an education. He works a lot of nights and I have Alex. That's why we never have any money. Now you know.'

'What happened to your mom?'

'Fuck you,' she wasn't mad, he could tell that, but it was her way of saying the topic was off limits.

'Fine,' he held up his hands in surrender. 'You like school?' he asked.

'I loathe school. Some building bursting at the seams full of disenchanted, hormonal idiots. Or else wealthy idiots. No one talks to me, the teachers hate me.'

'You sound like me,' he chuckled softly.

'You?' her eyebrows had shot up in surprise.

'Oh school and I did not see eye to eye,' he murmured.

'You went to Capeside High?'

'Oh yeah,' he nodded.

'Well say more, you can't just leave it at big sighs and innuendo...'

'They described me as a bright student who didn't meet his academic potential,' he stated dryly.

'At least they recognize you're bright! They take one look at my clothes, my family history and barely bother to teach me.'

'I had a bit of that...'

'But you were mostly a rebel right?'

'Something like that,' he shrugged. He liked the idea that she might see him that way.

'Well tell me...' she looked expectantly.

'But you're still there - can't have you spreading stories,' he teased, draining his beer.

'That's the last thing I'd do,' she edged closer to him, before standing and flopping onto the saggy couch with him, the record still playing. The couch was old and probably had been awful to begin with, and the sag in the middle meant their body's touched all the way along one side. He turned to look at her, watching as she unzipped her boots and chucked them towards the door and then grabbed a blanket from beside the couch and curled up into him. It wasn't like she could curl up any other way with the dip in the couch. 'I promise. Seriously, I know only too well what it's like to be the centre of this towns gossiping. You're just so...so... _straight laced_ I can't imagine what kind of trouble you could have got into...'

'Straight laced?' He made a face and she laughed, the sound fast becoming his favourite sound in all the world.

'You know, you're a cop. You won't let me touch you. You don't wanna take advantage. You're not someone I associate with trouble,' she looked up at him and he wanted to lean down and kiss her because he'd drunk nearly three beers, and she was pretty, and the music was good, and because her whole body was pressed along his, and in this position he could see the top of her tits and they looked like they might fit into his hands perfectly and he wanted to find out for sure. Instead he pushed to standing and headed to the fridge from another beer.

'I was big trouble you know missy.'

'So you keep saying,' she teased.

'I slept with my English teacher when I was fifteen. _In the classroom_ ,' he offered up, delighted by her gasp of surprise and the way her hands covered her mouth. 'I spat in my teachers face...'

'Hold on, hold on...too much,' she dragged him back down into the seat next to her. 'Your English teacher? Not Mr Milo? I mean I figured your brother was gay but you don't seem gay...'

'I'm not gay,' he rolled his eyes. 'Ms. Jacobs. She was nearly twenty years older than me but gorgeous. She taught me everything other women have been very thankful for.'

'I'm sure she did,' She giggled. 'How does something like that even happen?' she asked and his mind went to the feel of her hand on his cock, resulting in immediate blood flow south,

'I'm sure you can imagine,' he muttered.

'Now the spitting?'

'Teacher was being an ass to my friend, who was coming out to himself and everyone else. The teacher was bullying him, so I spat in the bastards face.'

'Anything else?' she asked and she had this look on her face, like she was dying to laugh.

'These guys destroyed this girls art project so I beat them up...'

'You got in trouble in school for law enforcement,' she giggled, 'or near enough. You got in trouble for doing the right thing. You were always a cop before you were even a cop.'

'I was a rebel,' he protested grinning and she shook her head,

'I'll give you the sex with a teacher, though I bet you did something upstanding and moral there too...I never heard of a teacher being done for rape...'

'Well I said I made it all up,' he admitted with a blush and she laughed loudly,

'You weren't a rebel Witter,' she giggled.

'Shut it Potter, I was,' he didn't think about his next action, moving his hands to her waist and tickling her softly. He was having the best first date that wasn't a first date, which was stupid because it nearly started as an arrest and she was far too young for him. Even if there was _technically_ nothing wrong with it. She squirmed and protested, aiming to tickle him back, her small hand going for his armpit. Somehow they were entangled and God but he wanted to kiss her, his hands falling slack as he realized how much of her was on top of him. He moved his hands intending to put them back safely on the couch but somehow they ended up smoothing her hair behind her ears.

'Right now you're thinking of fucking me,' she stated, her hands smoothing over his shirt covered chest. There was no point denying it. With the way she was positioned on him she could almost certainly feel just how attracted he was.

'I'm drunk, you're pretty and you're here. Of course I'm thinking about fucking you,' he half growled.

'Then you really would be a rebel,' she teased softly.

'You trying to tempt me?' he asked and she looked up at him, a beautiful fan of lashes framing her large eyes.

'Maybe,' she was so fucking near he could smell her minty breath, her long, cool fingers playing with the buttons on his shirt.

'Trust me I'm tempted enough,' he offered back, 'except that wouldn't make it easy to arrest you anymore,' his hands defiantly found their way to her tiny waist.

'You never quite manage to arrest me though,' she said the words so softly he could hear the rapid hammering of his heart, and then it felt like his breath and hers were mixing together between them, and like a rope entwining they were moving closer and closer.

'Maybe I should,' he whispered the words practically into her mouth but then his brain clicked in. He was about to kiss Josephine Potter. An eighteen year old high school student with a criminal family and some criminal tendencies herself. His brother had been lenient on her, hell he was being lenient on her, but he couldn't fuck a girl like this. It would just be bad all round. He turned his face from hers and instead of kissing her pressed his face to her shoulder. 'I'm drunk. I shouldn't be doing this,' he put his hands to her shoulders and gently pushed her off of him.

'And just when I thought you might actually have a little rebel in you,' she pouted.

'Can I, maybe...uh... crash on your couch? It's late and I have work in the morning.'

'Sure, but if you don't want to sleep with me that may be a problem,' she took his hand and he let her, staring mesmerized as she threaded her fingers through his.

'Huh?' he didn't understand.

'The baby has a room, Bodie has a room, and I have the couch,' she smiled. 'And you're right it's late. I'm going to brush my teeth,' and she stood and sauntered off to the bathroom, his eyes following her ass. He tore his eyes away from the bathroom door and stared at his hands. This was a fuck up really. He shouldn't have ever gone in to listen to that song. He certainly shouldn't have accepted a beer. And he was in so much fucking trouble with how much he desired her. Thank god she was half crazy because he could deal with superficial attraction, he had before, though never with someone so... tempting.

'I'm so tired,' her melodic voice startled him out of his daze and he looked at her as she began shimmying out of her jeans, her hoody already discarded. He stared at her long tanned legs, at the black lace panties, before he realized she was stripping off her top. He couldn't help but stare at the black lacy bra that covered soft pliant flesh he was just desperate to hold in his hands, his eyes tracking back down to those lace panties and then back up. 'You done staring?' she asked and he made a move that he was sure was a cross between a nod and a shake of his head, because he absolutely shouldn't be staring but he so didn't want to stop. She laughed and pulled a large shirt on, and then somehow undid her bra and pulled it off.

'I can't sleep in my uniform,' he stated dumbly, cursing his decision to enter her hovel of a house in the first place.

'So take it off,' she flopped back onto the couch beside him, grabbing some pillows and a blanket. Reluctantly he stood and headed to the tiny bathroom where he shoved toothpaste in his mouth, peed and splashed water on his face debating whether a DUI was worth it just to escape this crazy situation. Given that last week he'd arrested some guy who'd hit a kid driving under the influence he decided he'd made his bed and would have to lie in it - with quite possibly the most beautiful and sexy girl in the entire world. He was a fucking idiot he decided.

Somewhat reluctantly, all too aware of her appraising eyes watching him from under the blanket he untucked his shirt and unbuttoned it laying it and his holster on the same chair where he'd hung his jacket. With a sigh he undid his belt and pushed off his pants. He had to sigh because she was watching and he liked her watching, really _liked_ it. Now he was stood in front of her in boxers and a wife beater with a raging hard on. Awesome.

'Perhaps you should let your cock know that _it_ isn't happening,' she smirked and he felt a reluctant smile bubble up.

'I may sleep on the floor,' he half offered but the truth was it was freezing. His skin already had goose pimples and Joey was snuggled under all the blankets he could see and she was still shivering,

'I'll attempt to defrost you in the morning,' she was unapologetic as she let her eyes roam across his firm chest, before lingering on his boxers.

'Fuck,' he growled looking at the small couch.

'I'll wake you up early. No one will know,' she said and while he knew she meant no one would know he stayed there it occurred to him that no one would know if he did sleep with her. He could almost imagine that first blissful moment of connecting his body with hers, the soft noises he'd be desperate to cause, his face buried in those perfect pert little breasts. His cock throbbed. She was right, he needed to tell it to calm down. He moved across the room and sat on the outside edge of the couch wondering how on earth he'd deal with Bodie Wells discovering him half dressed with the school girl in his care. She was over eighteen he reminded himself. _Just_ , his subconscious threw back at him. He wasn't _that_ much older, he told himself and it was true. It was only five years and a bit, and they were both adults. If she wasn't at school it would be so much easier. He looked over his shoulder at her. She quite literally took his breath away. She gave him a knowing look and lifted the blankets inviting him into her warm little nest and he caved, laying back and rolling into her body, his lips claiming hers in a greedy, intoxicating kiss, all tongue and dirty intentions, as he maneuvered between her legs where he ground himself against her, thrilling at her gasp, and the way her hips lifted to his. His impatient hand crawled its way under her tshirt until he was holding perfect, soft, world-righting flesh in his hand and groaning as he ground against her again.

'Aw hell,' he muttered as he thrust his hard cock against her one last time before he rolled off of her, pulling his frustrated hands with him. His lips separating from hers with difficulty because kissing her was brain blanking bliss. He rolled over in the small space so that his back was to her.

'I thought the rebel had finally won,' she sighed, her hands smoothing up and down his back in an uncoordinated manner.

'I'm sorry. I just...'

'It's ok,' she said simply, 'though I think Jen would have approved of me going to bed with you. She always thought cops were hot,' she sounded like such a school girl at that moment, a fucked up one who he should have remembered was mourning the loss of her friend.

'What was she like?'

'Jen...' she paused and he sensed hesitation. He rolled over again so he could look at her, 'she was beautiful. This blond bombshell. I could never understand why she wanted to be friends with me. I was never all that popular, I'm still not. I'm just too different I guess. I don't know. So when she spoke to me, this girl in these prissy summer dresses - well I thought she was messing with me. Or I don't know...I thought she wanted me to get her drugs. That's the only reason the rich girls ever talk to me...' she trailed off, apparently deep in though. He wished she'd stop admitting to crimes in front of him because it made him feel twisted and tormented because of what he should do and what he knew he wouldn't.

'But she won you over?'

'Yeah,' Joey smiled softly and he waited, 'this boy. He gave me a ride to school. It was just a ride. He had a nice car and it's a long walk so I took him up on his offer. He told the whole school we'd slept together. We hadn't. I'm used to the rumours so I didn't care, but Jen, she asked if it was true and when I said no...she got so mad. We told the whole school I was pregnant. They believed that easily, and he got some shit man. It was a lot of fun. There's still the odd idiot that thinks Alex is mine,' she gave him a pointed look and he chuckled,

'You miss her?'

'All the time,' she looked down and it occurred to him that if she didn't have friends, if she didn't have family aside from Bodie, then she had to be lonely.

'We could be friends you know,' he offered brightly, jumping upon the idea because it meant he got to see her but it wasn't inappropriate.

'Friends?' she frowned.

'You know hang out, listen to music, do stuff together. Talk even.'

'Hmmm,' she tilted her head to one side and then nodded, her hair getting knotted by the pillow, 'really?'

'Really. You're fun. Surly as hell, a total bitch at times, a complete live wire, and so incredibly intent upon crunching up against the boundaries of the law, but you are fun and I like hanging out.'

'I'm just a high school kid,' she frowned.

'You're not _just_ anything,' he ran a finger along her jaw, loving the stain of red on her cheeks.

'Ok,' she nodded.

'That means we exchange numbers, we make arrangements to meet...you ready for that?'

'Sure,' she shrugged. 'Why not.'

'Great.'

'So that means we sleep tonight _without_ you mauling me?' she narrowed her eyes,

'Yep,' he nodded.

'Then you probably aught not to have your hand under my tshirt,' she smiled.

'Ah, no, probably not,' he pulled his hand off her stomach, unsure how it had gotten there in the first place.

'That means you won't arrest me?' she asked optimistically and this time he narrowed his eyes at her,

'Sure, so long as you don't break the law.'

'I can't promise that,' she shook her head.

'And why's that Potter?'

'If the baby is hungry and we don't have money for food then I will steal food,' she shrugged, 'or do what I need to in order to have money.' He didn't like the sound of that.

'Or you could come see your friend and ask for help,' he suggested but her chin lifted, her whole expression turning fierce.

'No,' she said.

'Or maybe you could stop buying beer and tequila?'

'I didn't _exactly_ buy them,' she offered up and he rolled his eyes - of course he'd been drinking stolen beer. As if the night wasn't fucked up already. 'It was a special occasion. I needed something for Bodie's birthday and Jen... well you know.'

'So I drank Bodies birthday beer? His stolen beer?'

'In my defence it was on the street,' she stated.

'Uh-huh...'

'It was.'

'You mean at delivery time?'

'Maybe,' she gave him a small smile.

'You're gonna be in jail one day Potter.'

'Maybe,' she sighed.

'That thought doesn't scare you?' he asked with a yawn and she rolled over, her back resting against his chest,

'Of course it does. But we do what we need to survive and just hope we get away with it. When you're poor, it's all about money. Having more money. I'm the only kid in class that hand writes assignments. The teacher says... "research online... go to this website..." it's not an equal starting point.'

'No?'

'No,' she sounded half asleep and for a long time they lay in dappled moonlight, Pacey acutely aware of the feel of her ass, and the smell of her hair which he could nuzzle his nose into, which allowed him to doze in a half sleep state thinking of all his favourite things - girls in general, strawberries, soft silky skin, the feel of a delicate female frame tight up against him, soft melodic voices and patchwork patterns of moonlight.

* * *

He woke with a start, confused momentarily as to where he was. His hand was grasping soft, lusciousness and his face was pressed against sweet smelling skin. He didn't blame himself - he was a guy, he had obviously been sleeping, and she was extremely attractive - he couldn't be expected to be in such close quarters and not have his hands wonder. He shifted slightly, and his cock pressed into her ass. It would be so easy, so easy to just remove their underwear, to tilt her just slightly, and push inside of her, to have his ears ringing with soft sighs and warm moans, his hands exploring expanses of tanned skin, skin so soft his fingers could ghost over it without meeting a bump or blemish. Then she turned,

'Just friends,' she reminded him and climbed over him and out of the warm cocoon of their covers. 'You better go before Bodie is up. I don't know what time your shift is but if you want a shower...'

'I'll go home and grab one,' he stated feeling all at odds with the world suddenly. The air outside the cocoon of blankets was freezing and he watched Joey move to an old free standing heater and turn it on, nothing happening, no whir of a fan, no welcome red light of power.

'Shit,' she muttered.

'It's broken?'

'Crap,' she gave it a bang, and checked the wires.

'Want me to try and fix it?' he asked and she gave him a look.

'You need to go before Bodie is up,' all her bravado of the previous night was gone. 'Seriously. Put your clothes on and go,' she apparently wasn't offering showers or sex anymore.

'Ok,' he exited the bed into the cold air. He could see his breath in front of him, and quickly pulled on his uniform, checking his gun. He stood uncertainly in front of her, her look defiant and kind of aggressive. Suddenly he didn't have a clue what to say, or how to behave or really why he was there.

'I'll uh...see you soon,' he offered and she nodded curtly,

'Sure.'


	4. Chapter 4

**Firstly many thanks to those who reviewed and favourited. Thanks for trying this fic out. It is mostly planned in my head but only this and chapter five are written. School is out so motivate me to write rather than slump into a crumpled, shattered heap whenever I have five minutes to myself lol. Thanks guys!**

 **Chapter Four**

It had taken him a while to find it in his parents loft, but he'd eventually located his incredibly old, but still functioning, standing heater. He'd cleaned it up and loaded it into the back of his squad car. It wasn't charity and it wasn't weird because they were friends, or so he kept trying to tell himself. It was one friend helping out another friend. He parked the car close to the mobile home and banged on the door. Bodie answered, all bundled up in coats with the baby strapped to his chest, which Pacey could only tell because the kid was screaming.

'Fuck,' he looked somewhere between unsurprised and almost fearful to see Pacey. 'Where is she?'

'I don't know,' Pacey frowned.

'Then why are you stood at my door with your squad car?' Bodie glared at him.

'I found my folks old heater,' he stated somewhat lamely.

'How the fuck you know about our broken heater?' Bodie took a step towards him. 'I mean really?'

'I...uh...Joey told me?'

' _Joey? Joey told you?'_ His mocking tone did not indicate that this was the correct answer, nor the correct name. 'Shouldn't you be calling her Potter? And when did the eighteen year old school girl tell you about our broken heater?'

'I uh... saw her when I was on patrol?' he hated how everything was coming out as a question.

'Did you?' Bodie gave a wry half laugh because he clearly didn't believe _that_.

'She said the baby was cold,' he attempted and Bodie's eyes narrowed.

'She's sorting it, so we don't need anything from you,' and he slammed the door in his face.

* * *

As the month ended and December dawned the weather got colder, harsh winds and snow that never seemed to stop. He couldn't remember the world ever being so white, for so long. He had a lot to deal with. There were so many fender benders, old people isolated by snow and ice, and other snow related incidents. He shovelled more drives than he cared to think of. There wasn't any serious crime, nothing to speak of anyway. Pacey figured it was because it was too damn cold. Nobody in their right mind would be out purely to do wrong. It wasn't the snow and ice that was so debilitating but the sub zero temperatures that persisted week in and week out. More than once his mind would turn to Joey and her badly insulated mobile home and broken heater. As he was driving down Water Street, slowly of course so that he didn't slide the car, he thought about Joey, thought about their promise to be friends six weeks earlier. If you could call it that. For him it was a promise not to fuck her, through promising to befriend her, because he couldn't stop thinking about her which was scary. He couldn't deny the fact that he'd enjoyed her company. She was funny, sassy and sweet, even if she could be hard as nails. He also couldn't stop thinking of her sat by her record player, choosing different songs for him to listen to, all because they meant something to her. With any other girl the whole record player thing would have felt pretentious but Joey wasn't showing off for anyone - she didn't have anyone to show off for. Owning the records wasn't about impressing a boy, or making friends, or becoming a DJ, they were about the crackle of the needle on vinyl and about how that made her feel, about how each song sounded different, had more to it when it was pulled from a record sleeve, placed on the player and the needle was lowered to just the right place. They were accompaniments to her loneliness and there was nothing pretentious about that.

Pacey's stomach grumbled which wasn't all that surprising given the hour. It was lunchtime and he was supposed to be meeting Doug and Jack at Munchies Diner. Despite its ridiculous name, the food was wonderful and on a freezing December day it was warm and festive, like a big warm hug welcoming you in.

He was a half an hour early but he had his radio on him so it didn't really matter. Not with the crime dive as it was. He sat at the usual booth he shared with Doug and Jack and waited for Maggie the waitress to notice him. He pulled out the menu even though he knew what he would be ordering - a burger with salad and no fries, followed by cherry pie. When it came to Munchies he was a creature of habit. He'd been ordering the same thing since he'd come in for family meals years earlier. When Maggie didn't come over within five minutes he looked around the crowded diner. There were even a couple of groups waiting for a free table - apparently the warm, welcoming glow of Munchies had wide spread appeal. Finally he spotted Maggie at a table in the corner. She seemed to be having something of an argument with the occupant, though he couldn't hear what was being said. When Maggie banged her hand on the table sharply he immediately stood and moved to the corner, surprised to see Joey sat defiantly at the small table with the baby on her knee.

'Everything ok Mags?' he asked gently.

'They've been here all morning without ordering anything but a cup of coffee and having free refill after free refill,' Maggie was clearly quite exasperated and angry, very angry.

'I'm just deciding what to order,' Joey stated flicking through the menu.

'You've been saying that for over an hour,' Maggie glared. 'I have customers waiting for seats. Actual paying customers and it's time you moved on to somewhere else.'

'I...maybe I'll have the...um...'

'The um what?' Maggie glared. 'Maybe you can pay for the coffee before you disappear too.'

'Ladies,' Pacey stepped between them, putting a hand on Maggie's shoulder.

'Please, it's so cold out,' Joey, for the first time since Pacey had met her, lost some of her sass, some of her defiance. She was actually asking Maggie to take pity on her. Unfortunately people don't always hear cries for help and Joey's was ignored,

'So go home. It's not my job to keep you warm,' Maggie growled and Pacey knew it was decision time as Joey began to wrap the baby in some elaborate material baby sling, tugging on the most inadequate looking leather jacket he'd ever seen.

'You know I can solve all this. I was on my way over to ask Joey to join me for lunch, so problem solved.'

' _Really_?' Apparently Maggie didn't buy it, and Joey flushed red.

'How about it Jo?' he asked and she raised her eyebrows at the use of Jo.

'It's fine I'll go,' she shook her head and he winced at the sound of her stomach rumbling, a sound even he could hear. She picked up a blanket and wrapped it around the baby, tugging a hat on his head and pushing past both he and Maggie as she left the diner. Pacey was hot on her heels.

'You never called,' he shouted after her, watching her shake in the bitter cold.

'I never called!' she gave a bitter laugh. 'I'm eighteen. You're the guy. I was never gonna call and you know it. I mean why would you want to be friends? I'm not going to pursue that only to have you laugh in my face. And you never gave me a number.'

'I meant it, about being friends I mean,' he told her. 'Come on, let me give you a ride home before the baby freezes?'

She hesitated, clearly uncertain about this and whether it was an act of charity or not, or perhaps whether she cared, but at length nodded.

'I don't have a car seat,' she told him and he shrugged.

'I have one in the trunk. I have a lot of nieces and nephews who occasionally require being carted around.'

'Oh,' she nodded still not approaching. Taking that as tacit agreement he moved to his cruiser and popped the trunk grabbing the seat and fixing it in the car before holding out his hands for the baby. Still wrapped in the blanket Joey handed him over.

'Hey Alex, my man. Aren't you just the cutest,' he babbled as he sat him in the seat, clicked the straps and then covered him over with a blanket. 'Ok. You're all set. You got your seat, you got your hat, you got your blanket. Now all we need is your aunt,' he looked to Joey who sighed and got into the car, as quiet and sullen as he'd ever known her.

Silently he got in the car and started the engine, flushing with embarrassment as the Elliott Smith album he'd bought after his evening with Joey started playing. She looked at him and laughed softly, but then she began to cry, leaning forward and pressing her face into her knees. Her shoulders shook even though they weren't great heaving sobs, more tears of pain or of something far more fundamental that he didn't understand.

'Oh hey,' he pressed an uncertain hand to her shoulder and rubbed it softly but she sat up and stared at him with vacant, glassy eyes. 'It'll be ok,' he attempted but she just shook her head,

'No it won't.'

'Tell me what's wrong. Maybe I can help?' he was surprised at the thickness in his throat, the words sincere but somehow throttled by a heaviness,

'Fix our heating,' she said too quickly, the words shrill and tight as she held back tears. 'Bodie...he's looking for work and I'm with Alex. We can't stay at home. The baby would freeze so we...we just bum around from place to place ordering free refill coffee. I don't even like coffee. I can't go to school and I'm gutted. I hate that place and yet I'd love to be there because I could be warm for nearly eight hours a day. Fuck,' she swore, and turned to the car window pressing her face to the glass. 'Just take us to the Walmart out on the strip. That'll do. We can't go home,' her voice was dull and lifeless and he wanted to help. He really wanted to help. It was a deep and powerful urge because he really felt for her and in a way that was pure, as one human to another.

'Let me take you for lunch,' he pleaded.

'No,' she didn't look up.

'You're too thin,' he protested looking at her tiny wrists and her impossibly small waist under her ridiculously inadequate coat.

'S'what happens when you don't eat,' she deadpanned.

'Look we're friends right? We agreed to be friends? You said you'd like that,' he reached out and took her hand, needing her to hear him.

'So?'

'So friends buy each other lunch. I was going to meet my brother and my buddy for lunch, my brother was buying, friends do that.'

'It's charity,' she muttered.

'It's survival.'

'You can buy me a bag of chips at Walmart if you're that desperate,' she wouldn't look at him and he hated it.

'You need more than a bag of chips,' he stated and started the cruiser heading out of town towards the strip, hoping he wouldn't get a call and be forced to leave her there.

'People wonder why I steal. This baby would be dead if I didn't,' she murmured after a couple of minutes in silence. 'I know the welfare state isn't always such a big thing for the more right wing American, but sometimes I think we could do with a little more humanity. America has a poverty issue. How can I break the cycle when I can't go to school because I'm too hungry, because I have to look after a baby so his dad can find work. _I'm never going to escape this life_ ,' she brushed at her eyes, and his grip on the wheel tightened.

'You'd take more welfare from the state?' he asked.

'At this point yes. To keep from starving yes. To be warm again, yes.'

'I work for the state, my money was theirs. Let me help.'

'Why do you care?' she asked and he felt put on the spot, unable to come up with something he deemed appropriate because he didn't know _why_ he cared so much, just that he did. It wasn't right. Whatever the reason that made him so personally involved, on a more superficial level, it just wasn't right.

'He's a baby,' he offered, gesturing to the backseat where Alex had fallen asleep. 'He needs heat and he needs food. So do you. It's called human decency.'

'How come you're the first decent human I've met then?' she asked, her words coming out half strangled, constricted by a thickness in her throat.

'I can't be. All I know is I'm not taking the two of you back there without food and heat.'

'You can't stop us going home,' she pouted. He wanted to suck that bottom lip she stuck out into his mouth.

'I could arrest you. You admitted to crimes,' he challenged and she glared, but when he pulled up at Walmart she got out of the car with him, sullen and silent, watching as he removed the car seat but left the sleeping infant inside. They walked together and he got a cart which the car seat could go on, ensuring it was safely clipped on.

'You know that kid ain't yours,' some teenager quipped as they walked through the entrance and Pacey glared at him. He wanted to shout back, "what would I care - look at her," and gesture at Joey, or some other equally smart retort, but he was a cop and he couldn't lose his shit over things like that anymore, so he put a hand on Joey's shoulder and pushed the cart, leading them up the aisles.

She remained silent as he led her up the bedding aisle.

'Would you like a proper duvet?' he asked and she turned her head away, her eyes glassy. He could only think that if he were freezing all the time he'd like a proper duvet instead of her old blankets. He looked at the covers and picked up the two prettiest ones.

'Green leaves or blue...rectangular things?' he asked brightly and watched as a tear leaked out of her eye. 'The blue one is nicer I agree. Makes me think of sailing on the water. I own a boat you know?' he threw in a pillow without asking, and pushed the cart to the baby section.

'He need anything?' he waggled the foot of the sleeping baby and Joey sighed deeply. It was unfair really because he couldn't see her refusing anything for the baby, it just wasn't going to happen if she was willing to steal for the child. With gravitas she reached for a thick baby sleeping bag thing, that looked all kinds of weird to him, but he took it she knew what she was doing. After a second she grabbed a box of diapers, a can of formulae, and a set of sleep suits.

'I'll pay you back,' she whispered so quietly he couldn't hear.

'Huh?'

'I said I'll pay you back,' she said it louder.

'Sure,' he shrugged good-naturedly and she seemed pleased he'd conceded, even though he had no intention of accepting any money. With a quick appraising look at him, as though checking for deception she reached for a warm snowsuit. 'Good thinking,' he smiled, 'have fun Jo,' he offered but she just shook her head.

With a sigh he pushed the cart to the women's clothing and stood in front of the coats.

'No way,' she spoke clearly for the first time.

'Do you have any idea how much paper work is involved in discovering hypothermic bodies in the snow?' he asked and when she gave him a defiant look he continued unperturbed, 'a lot. You choose or I choose for you,' he picked out a horrible, puffy, plastic thing.

'Fine,' she grumbled and grabbed a thicker, more stylish jacket and tried it on, sliding it on with ease over her thin frame, _and_ her useless leather jacket.

'That looks really good,' he smiled warmly, because it did. She looked a little older in it, and definitely more suited to the weather. 'Oh,' he grinned and grabbing her hand pushed the cart with the other over to the shoes. 'Boots! _Please_ let me get you boots,' he immediately zeroed in on a pair of real leather, lined winter boots that weren't dissimilar to her awful, old boots. 'These,' he stated triumphantly. 'Size?'

'Ten,' she was staring at the boots and he could see she wanted them, but didn't want to accept them. 'They're too much. These,' she held up cheap, plastic boots.

'Nope. You can earn these off working on my boat next summer, but you need proper boots. And size ten? Seriously? How big are your feet?' he teased and was rewarded with her blush and a slap to his shoulder,

'Watch it,' she told him but slipped off her old boots and pushed her foot into the new boot he placed ready. 'Oh, those are nice,' she almost whimpered and he grinned happily,

'And the other one.'

When at last they were done with shoes, he led them to the electrics section. He knew they needed three heaters because they slept in three different rooms. He grabbed midrange ones for her and Bodie, pushing the thought of that mans reaction out of his head, then chose a slightly pricier one for the baby, one with thermostatic control so the little guy didn't overheat. She stared at him as he explained why when she'd tried to protest, but had then stood on tip toes and kissed his cheek.

* * *

Pacey could still feel where she'd kissed him. The skin tingled slightly in a very good way and his heart felt stretched and kind of sore. He hadn't even cared about the giant bill at the checkout, especially once they'd added tinned goods, pasta, rice and some fresh fruit and vegetables. When they'd finally reached her place it was empty and inside was as cold as outside. In silence he'd set up all three heaters and turned them on. He was mortified.

'Jo, the power is out,' he stated reentering the frigid living room where she was feeding the baby a banana.

'What?' she frowned. 'Try the fuse box. It's in the hall closet.'

Of course the fuse box didn't work when the electricity was off for failure to pay the bill.

'Where is Bodie?' he asked sitting beside her and taking the baby, bouncing him gently on his knee.

'He's in the city,' she admitted, 'but only for a few weeks. A buddy got him a job on a building site - people have been quitting big time due to the weather. He doesn't care. He gets paid at the end of next week. He's looking for something nearer but...

'So until he gets something what? You and his kid freeze? Your education goes on hold?'

'Don't take Alex, please,' she turned panicked eyes on him. 'Please. He's all I've got and we know it isn't ideal. When we get our welfare cheque I'll get the electric back on. It's the first thing I'll do...'

'Hey, slow down,' he put a hand on her knee and left it there even though he should have removed it. 'Look, is Bodie a good worker? Is he decent and hard working and all of that?'

'He can be,' she hedged.

'If I vouch for him is he going to screw me?'

'No, no of course not. He wouldn't.'

'Ok. So the medical clinic needs an janitor. Can he clean? Fix crap?'

'Yeah, yeah of course,' she looked so optimistic that it hurt him.

'Well let me talk to my sister. She's a nurse there. I'll see what I can do. She might put in a good word for him. You know the best thing about it?'

'A regular income?' she smiled a small hopeful smile, one that told him how much something he took for granted would mean.

'No. There's childcare on site for employees, meaning...'

'I could go back to school,' she smiled, a brilliant smile then and he realized the truth was she didn't hate school. As if reading his mind she clarified her joy, 'if I'm going to do anything with this life I need school right? I hate everyone in that place but it's a free education...'

'Right,' he nodded. 'Listen, this place is an ice block. I'm going to drop you and Alex at my house, you can stay for a few days, and when the electricity is back on you can come home.'

'Really?' she stared at him, her eyes running over him, taking in the baby on his knee and the sincerity of his expression. He flushed under the scrutiny but nodded.

'Ok...' she agreed, 'for the baby,' she justified and he smirked,

'Exactly,' he bundled the baby back into the car seat. 'Lemme help you pack,' he offered, straightening up as he clipped the last buckle on the car seat. As he turned he found himself face to face with her, a strange expression on her face, one that held him transfixed in place. For several long moments they stared at one another then she pulled his head to hers and kissed him fiercely, her tongue plunging into his mouth, her hands rough on the hair at the back of his neck, her body pressing against his. He must have gasped, or made some ridiculous noise because he was surprised and his whole body reeled with twist in his stomach, the tingle or whatever it was at the contact. For maybe thirty seconds he couldn't think, could only kiss her back. Tangle his tongue with hers and grasp her closer. Then her fingers found the gaps between the buttons of his uniform. Of his _work uniform_.

'Joey, Jo,' he wrapped his palms around her beautiful face and stared into eyes that reminded him of dappled leaves waving in the wind. Her lips were parted and she broke free of his grip.

'Don't even say it. I know, ok?'

'We can only be friends,' he said it anyway,

'It's just that you're being so nice, and I just thought maybe I could repay you...'

'Repay me?' he asked in utter horror, 'God Joey, never kiss someone because you think you owe them...'

'I didn't,' she stated but then continued staring at her feet, 'but isn't that what guys expect? Sexual favours for helping?'

'I don't,' he balked.

'Probably why I actually want to kiss you,' she sighed. 'So how can I repay you?'

'Just be my friend,' he suggested.

'Even though I know you want to have sex with me? I just be your friend?' she grabbed a plastic bag from the kitchen and then pulled open a drawer in the living area and dragged out a selection of fancy bra's and panties. He arched his brow and gave her a look, 'they were Bessie's. She spent all her money on sexy underwear. It's not like I can afford anything new,' she shrugged and opened the next drawer shoving in jeans and leggings, skirts, tshirts and sweaters.

'I might want you,' he admitted slowly, 'I mean you're a freakin' goddess Joey,' he breathed heavily, 'I mean you're really, really beautiful, but you're in school and I'm a cop.'

'I'm a criminal and you're a cop,' she added, stuffing everything in the bag more firmly, before grabbing extra bags and putting in things for the baby.

'I could also never do anything if I thought you were under the impression that you owe me in some way, that you had to pay me back in...in...'

'Sexual favours?' she filled in with a smirk and he nodded. She stopped for a minute,

'So what you're saying is, if I wasn't at school, if I wasn't a criminal, and if I didn't owe you like...massively, then you'd have sex with me?' she stared expectantly and his mouth gaped uselessly,

'Yeah?' if came out as a question.

'But I'm free to test your willpower, right?' she looked at him under lowered lashes and his heart began to boom in his chest.

'We should be friends,' he repeated.

'We _should_ ,' she agreed.

* * *

Pacey's place was small, and an extra girl and a baby soon took up what spare space there was. The baby's pack and play fit in his study, along with her assortment of bags. So long as they were far from the crib it would be ok he decided, checking nothing was within arms reach. Joey watched him set up from his office chair, fiddling with his stapler and looking at photo albums he had on the bookcase. Her eyes flicked from the album to his movements, the baby snoozing yet again in the car seat.

'This is you?' she asked pointing to a kid in a rowboat that was indeed him.

'Yeah, we went camping down the coast. Caught my first fish,' he smiled.

'Your dad take you?' she asked kind of wistfully and he nodded,

'Took, me, Doug - that's the Chief to you, and my sister Gretchen. Mom, Kerry and Anna opted out.'

'You have three sisters and a brother?' again she had something in her tone, almost longing.

'Yep. Anna is a lawyer in Boston, Kerry is a nurse at the medical centre in town and Gretchen is a cop in Boston. Doug you know all about.'

'The Chief.'

'My pop used to be Chief,' he informed her and she looked at him sharply before laughing a little. 'What?'

'Just that your dad probably arrested my dad. And here we are a few years later... You always trying to arrest me.'

'I only try and arrest you 'cause you keep breaking the law,' he couldn't help the flirtatious tone and she responded,

'I don't recall doing anything wrong when I was painting my wall and yet there you were, lights flashing, trying to arrest me.'

'That was a...misunderstanding,' he took a step in her direction, the thought of her in handcuffs entering his head and sending adrenalin coursing all through his body.

'You haven't actually managed to successfully arrest me yet though,' she stood and her fingers were once again playing with the buttons of his uniform shirt.

'I hope I never have to,' he stated honestly.

'I don't want to go to prison you know?' she looked up at him and he was snared in her trap, those eyes like magnets.

'Who wants to go to prison,' he shrugged.

'I don't commit crimes for attention either,' she took his hand, threading their fingers together and Pacey could have sworn she had some sort of electric orb embedded in her palm because his body sang its approval at this move. She dragged them through to his living room by their joined hands and pulled them down on the couch.

'I should be patrolling,' he half whispered, because she was curled up tight into his body,

'It's important you know that I don't do it for attention...'

'So when you're drunk in the centre of town...'

'Have you never needed to escape?' she looked at him and he considered the question before nodding.

'Yes, I understand that.'

'Sometimes... Well I guess the realization that this is my life, that this will probably always be my life to an extent...you know poverty, petty crime, lack of education...it makes me feel like I'm in a hole and I'm trying to climb out, except I never get anywhere. Kinda like a hamster in its wheel,' she pressed her face into the warmth of his neck. 'You smell really, really good,' her voice was low and intimate.

'I have to go back to work,' he stood, aware that it must be obvious how much she affected him.

'And you trust me here?' she asked with big, innocent eyes, eyes that hid so much personality that he didn't know whether he did or didn't trust her.

'I do,' he as were more surely than he felt. 'Here's the tv remote,' he handed it over, 'the heat is on and there's food in the fridge.'

'Thank you Pacey,' she pulled the blanket he had on the back of the couch off and put it around her shoulders.

'Are you cold?'

'No. Just relishing being warm,' she smiled.

'Of course,' he chuckled.

* * *

When he arrived home the TV was on and Joey was sat playing with Alex on the floor. She looked at him and smiled widely as he walked through the door,

'I love your apartment,' she told him. He took in her wet hair, her make up free face and her attire - a tshirt and some leggings. She looked very much at home.

'You do huh?' he unhooked his holster and taking his gun put it in the lockable box he had for when nieces and nephews visited. He then put it on top of the kitchen cupboards, Joey's eyes tracking his every move.

'Should I be worried about you watching all that?' he asked with a frown and she blushed, surprising him,

'Oh I'd never go near a gun. You're just really thoughtful.'

'I didn't exactly start out as Mr Conscientious but I guess the job is rubbing off on me...'

'A family of cops,' she scooped the baby into her arms and opening the fridge grabbed him a beer and handed it over, with a sideways glance she took one for herself but he gave her a pointed glare and so she put it back.

'Pretty much,' he flopped into his chair and putting the beer beside him he reached for the baby. She gave him a quizzical, appraising look but handed him over. 'Kid like this is therapy after this afternoon,' he sighed.

'Your day wasn't good?' she frowned.

'My day was great until I left here. Some punk decided to lick my squad car when I was dealing with a fender bender. And yeah I mean lick it with his goddamned tongue when it's minus ten out. Idiot got his tongue stuck, what with the ice that was on it.'

'Guy named Grant Bodine?' she asked and he laughed loudly,

'How could you possibly know that?'

'Guy try's to stick his tongue _everywhere_ ,' she said and he didn't like the insinuation but he smiled regardless,

'Well he looked like a complete tool.'

'Doesn't he always?' she frowned sourly.

'Not a fan?'

'Actually one of my official warnings was for breaking his nose,' she sniffed and he tilted his beer at her,

'Unofficially, let me say good job.'

'Yeah he deserved it,' she murmured darkly and Pacey had no doubt at all that the guy had indeed deserved it.

'How do you and bubs like your new digs?'

'Did you not hear me say I love your apartment?' she smiled widely. 'It's warm and comfy and clean.'

'There's a swimming pool and gym in the building as well,' he picked Alex up and blew a raspberry on his tummy rewarded by giggles. 'I could take ya swimming,' he crooned to the baby who was adorable. 'Would you like to swim little guy?'

'Like he's been anywhere near a swimming pool ever,' Joey rolled her eyes.

'Well then that needs to be remedied,' he watched the baby yawn widely. 'You want me to feed him and put him to bed? It's kinda late.'

'I was just about to when you came home,' she flustered and he caught her hand,

'Hey, there was no judgement. I don't have a say in when you put the kid to bed.'

'Ok,' she nodded and moved to the kitchen, before frowning like she didn't know quite what to do once there

'I'll make us all dinner,' he stated at her wary look around the kitchen. 'You can help!'

* * *

Alex had been put into bed an hour earlier, with a tummy full of pasta and sauce. Pacey had tried not to feel too proud at Joey's exclamations about how much the baby was eating, her surprise at him eating something other than jarred baby food. He had to remind himself that she wasn't the kids mother, that she wasn't much more than a kid herself and what experience would she have of these things. Thanks to nieces and nephews he had some sort of clue. His sister Kerry had always mashed and whatnot before giving up and feeding them what she was having, which was all stuff she'd actually made and not jarred. So he knew the kid would eat more than just jars baby food without thinking on it too much. Joey had mentioned that Bodie used to cook, but he didn't think that it was something the guy did anymore. He surreptitiously turned and looked over Joey. It was strange but when she was dressed normally, with her dark clothing and her overbearing makeup she looked tough, like an obvious piece of trouble - everything too cheap and too warn out. However, without any makeup on, her dark hair in a messy bun and simple clothes she looked more stunning than ever, like she was made of sunshine and not the darker more foreboding stuff he'd assumed.

'Why are you staring at me?' she asked abruptly, turning to look at him, his eyes unable to move from hers, somehow fixated.

'You're really pretty, you know?' he offered up, 'without all the makeup, just like you are.' He watched her cheeks redden the compliment, aware that he had to stop telling her she was beautiful, and then she snarked back,

'I smell like you though. Like a boy.'

'Huh?' he frowned.

'I used your shower stuff, so I smell like you,' she wrinkled her nose, sniffing her own arm indulgently and he grinned.

'So listen, about tomorrow. My sister has agreed to look after Alex. She isn't working and she loves babies. Her kids go to the local elementary school, so she can hang with the baby. She's going to talk to the clinic about the janitor job and an emergency week of daycare until Bodie can start.'

'Oh no, that's not fair,' Joey shook her head. 'She doesn't have to look after him. He's not her responsibility.'

'Of course it's fair. You can go to school, get an education and change your future. You said you'd never escape but that's how you escape, which you know.'

'It's how other people escape and how I pretend there's hope,' she drew her knees up to her chest. 'You don't understand how it is.'

'Try me,' he moved to the couch so he was sitting next to her, 'I told you already that high school wasn't all that great for me...'

'You wanna know the first time I realized I was different?' she asked and he nodded,

'I was in grade two I think. I had these friends, other girls in my class. We'd play together at recess and lunch and I bumbled along thinking school was wonderful because people were kind to me there. Then one Monday morning I go back to school and I realize the girl I was closest to, she'd had a birthday party and all my friends had been to it that weekend - bowling, pizza and a movie. I remember that feeling of standing there, that sudden insane hurt as my insides turned over and I realized that I wasn't one of them, that I hadn't been included, invited. They had parties, trips to the beech, movie outings, pizza nights and I was never invited. I felt like I'd been kicked in the teeth because it kept happening, more and more until they didn't play with me at school anymore. It was just me,' she rested her cheek on her knee and he found his hand resting in her hair, his fingers brushing through the strands because he could so easily picture a little girl version of Joey, and how awful it must have felt to be faced with something like that.

'Being excluded never feels nice,' he attempted to verbally understand, so she'd known he'd heard and taken it in.

'It feels like I've been excluded my whole life. Except for Jen.'

'I'm your friend now,' he told her.

'Sure,' she rolled her eyes.

'I like you Joey. Sure you might be at school but you're funny, and...'

'Criminal. I know this is your good deed or whatever, and that's fine. I needed to be somebody's good deed or I would have frozen to death. I'm drifting through this life you know. I don't have a hope of graduating because I've missed so much school, and so my marks are always poor. You're just trying to stop me drifting too far...'

'Maybe I am, but it doesn't mean we can't be friends,' he insisted.

'It does. You'll only achieve so much before my life takes over. People like me, we don't thrive, we survive, get by. School realistically probably won't get me anywhere.'

'You're still going,' he insisted and she gave him a scowl and a mocking salute,

'Yes sir.'

'Surely you enjoy art?' he asked and she looked a little sheepish,

'Art and English, but they're not going to do me any good.'

'Maybe I can help?'

'You wanna be my tutor now?'

'I could tell you there's no more...whatever this crap is you're watching,' he gestured to the TV, 'not before school work, revision and homework. You know make some rules?'

'Yes _dad_ ,' she amended.

'I'm not your dad, I'm just an ex crappy student trying to help out.'

'I'm not stupid you know,' she looked at him, 'I did excellently on my SAT's, but I don't have time to work and I don't have patience for teachers who expect nothing from me.'

'Prove them wrong,' he told her, 'prove them all wrong.'

'That what you did?'

'By becoming a cop, yeah,' he chuckled a little.

'Fine, I'll try,' she huffed. 'And don't call _Pretty Little Liars_ crap. Give it a chance. This is only episode three, and I heard it gets good.'

'Who told you that?'

'Girls gossiping in the rest room,' she giggled.

'Wow, the circles you inhabit,' he teased and she whacked his arm. 'Look, it's late so we start tomorrow with a new study regime. You sleep in my room. Luckily I changed the sheets this morning, so you're good. I'll sleep on the couch...'

'No sharing?' she looked up at him with positively wanton eyes and he wanted to, badly.

'Nah, couch is fine.'

'Your loss,' she muttered turning back to the television.


	5. Chapter 5

**Hi, thanks for the great feedback as always. Please keep it coming. Mega busy with all the kids of school and now we're moving so it's always nice to see my efforts writing have been appreciated. Of course I welcome constructive criticism too!**

 **Tab xx**

 **Chapter Five**

'Hey Jo, how was school?' he asked when he came in from work and found her curled up on the couch with a sketch pad, Alex apparently in bed.

'Hmm, ok,' she frowned and he didn't like the defensive curl of her shoulders. She had been living with him for four days and it wasn't set to end until at least the weekend which was getting very close to Christmas. The janitor job at the medical centre had been secured for Bodie, only Joey couldn't get hold of him and therefore he didn't know about it. Pacey wasn't entirely sure when the welfare cheque was due, but nothing had gone into her bank account - he'd set her up with Internet banking and every night she logged on. There still wasn't anything from Bodie nor anything from the government. Just a big fat zero.

Pacey wasn't sure how he felt about having her stay anymore - his thoughts and feelings were confusing at best. The baby was no trouble. He slept through the night and he was in daycare most of the day, something organized by his sister. He was truthfully both ready for her and Alex to go, but also dreading it. Sleep was an issue. He was unbearably uncomfortable at night but because she was in his room, and he wasn't going _there_ , he was stuck on the narrow couch, the couch his feet hung off the end. There were moments when they were chatting, and it was wonderful. He could easily imagine this girl as his real friend, a good friend, even a girlfriend but at the same time, her hands would wonder, or she'd display her cleavage, or there'd be a look and he'd want her, as in really fucking want her, and yet again, he couldn't go there. She might make him laugh, she might stir him up but it still felt wrong. He only had to look at her lengthy record to know it was wrong, or twisted or whatever. But still, it didn't change his hearts response to her words or his body's response to hers. He didn't want her to go but it would be better if she did.

'What happened?' he asked as he locked up his gun.

'Stupid high school is all,' she muttered. 'Issues with my homework apparently.'

'But you did your homework,' he was confused, 'I watched you.'

'They think I...bought it, cheated, or whatever. Called the fucking guidance counsellor in and everything.'

'Because it was good?' he was shocked.

'Yep. Welcome to my life where working hard doesn't pay off. Apparently there was a similar essay last year. The topic was the same last year so surely all the essays will be similar,' she rolled her eyes, 'I just happened to draw the same arguments as Mr. Honour Roll from last year. How could I even know that?'

'Did you say all that?'

'Of course I did.'

'And?' he grabbed a beer and sat beside her on the couch, her feet sneaking onto his lap.

'They can't prove it but they're not counting the mark. I have to sit some dumb make up test.'

'So ace the test,' he rested his beer on her feet, 'I'm serious Jo. Ace the goddamned test.'

'I suck at tests. Especially tests I shouldn't have to take.'

'I could...I don't know, maybe if I told them...'

'One you shouldn't have to tell them and two, well wouldn't you lose your reputation or something if they knew you were shacked up with someone like me?' she gave him a soft look and his heart warmed at her consideration because that was true, whilst he felt the bristle of indignation that she would think he'd be bothered, all at the same time as realizing that he might be bothered.

'We're not doing anything wrong,' he shrugged, 'I'm helping you out.'

'The general population isn't going to think this is innocent. They're going to think you're sleeping with me. And you know if that's what they're gonna think, you may as well do just that,' she smirked but then leaned forward to run a hand along his jaw, her fingers fluttering over the light stubble like silk, his stomach coiling with pleasure. Instinctively he leaned into her touch, but then shook his head,

'I don't care what they think, you and I know the truth. There'd be nothing wrong with us being together even if everyone would...' he trailed off as he sought the right description,

'Frown on it?' she asked, wriggling up the couch and resting her head against his chest. One thing Pacey had noticed over the four days of sharing a space with Joey was that she craved contact and being close, and it wasn't all about trying to make him lose control, or at least he didn't think it was.

'Yep frown on it.'

'You think they would frown on it?' she asked looking up at him. His arms wrapped around her subconsciously, and then he mentally reprimanded himself and loosened his grip,

'Well we're on an odd twosome on the surface of it, aren't we?'

'You mean the cop and the crim?'

'And the cop and the schoolgirl,' he added.

'Perhaps this is an ill fated friendship, doomed by your rights and my wrongs.'

'Thing is,' Pacey hesitated, 'thing is, you and I aren't so different.'

'You honestly think that?' she sat back up.

'I think you don't know a lot about me, but I think we have more in common than most people would think at first glance.'

'You mean like music?' she asked. They had spent a lot of time listening to music together, using his iPad to search for one song after another.

'And food,' he grinned.

'As in you cook it, I eat it?' she giggled.

'And art - you draw or paint it and I like to look at it,' he smiled.

'I break the law and you arrest me,' she smirked,

'Please don't go to prison,' he couldn't help the reprimand.

'Please don't be annoying,' she prodded him in the ribs, tickling him slightly and causing him to squirm and for them to shift closer.

'Don't go there Potter,' he warned and she smoothed her tickling hands flat though she didn't remove them.

'Tell me why you think we're similar. I want to know,' she looked up at him as she retook her spot against his chest, her fingers beginning to run in erratic, feather light circles across his ribs. Swallowing his reluctance he began to talk, telling her about his father and the tempestuous relationship that boarded on bully and victim. He knew it wasn't bad, not compared to what she had probably gone through, his neglect barely registering compared to hers, but it was his story and for some reason the more he shared, the more he wanted to share. When he was done, when he'd detailed every time he was called loser, the expectation that he would achieve nothing, he looked at her. She was sitting back at her end of the couch by this point, perhaps so she could stare at him, because he could feel her eyes. He wasn't really sure what his expectation was. He was half expecting a "man up" or some comment about how he didn't know what it was to hurt, because that was all he'd ever expected growing up. As he turned to look at her, his eyes met hers. He couldn't read the expression in them, and her face was devoid of any discernible emotion. Just as he was about to regret sharing, because he didn't share with anyone normally, she scrambled from her end of the couch to his, essentially sitting in his lap and wrapping her arms around his neck, her face tucking itself in between his chin and shoulder, so her warm breath caused tingles on skin of his neck.

'I love that you shared that,' she whispered. 'And he's wrong. Or was wrong. You're an amazing person.'

'I want to sort out the school for you. You shouldn't have to take that test.'

'It's ok. I told them it was wrong but it's ok. I'll take it, and I'll prove them wrong.'

'When is it?'

'Tomorrow,' she sighed.

'Then let's study!'

'Together?' she looked up at him and wrinkled her nose, and Pacey felt his stomach lurch with something like desire.

'Together!'

* * *

Pacey leaned against his squad car, his eyes fixated on Capeside High, the site of many years of misery and occasional joy - after all one classroom in particular held a very special memory. As the bell rang announcing the end of school he kept his eyes fixated on the large front doors waiting for his first glimpse of dark hair, and black clothing. He let out the breath he hadn't realized he was holding as he watched her emerge, the only person he could see in a sea of students. The jacket he'd bought her was wrapped tightly around her thin frame and the unexpected red scarf added warmth to her skin, her dark made up eyes, lowered. He took an involuntary step in her direction willing her to look up and notice him.

'Potter,' he called at length and she looked up her face frozen in her momentary confusion, and a flicker of fear, as her eyes widened at the sight of a squad car. But then she saw him and she broke into a smile. 'Did you show them?' he asked and she nodded.

'Got an A,' she added shyly and without thinking he took a few necessary steps and then he was holding her close and twirling her around.

'Course you did,' he beamed. 'Lets go to the diner and celebrate with pancakes.'

'At three in the afternoon?' she laughed as he nodded enthusiastically.

'Normally I celebrate with ice cream but it's too damn cold,' he grinned, a smile that fell from his face as he heard the loud whistle, the someone catcalling and a comment from someone else,

'Now we know your secret Potter - screw the cop and evade jail,' from some guy and then another who just yelled,

'Jailbait,' at him. He released her abruptly, his skin burning. It hadn't occurred to him that he'd been standing there with his hands entangled in her hair until the outside noises broke in.

'Jackasses,' Joey yelled.

'Hey, shush now, let's...er...go,' he wanted to be out of the spotlight.

'Now that can't be right?' some guy who looked to be a parent or a teacher commented as he walked past.

'Fuck you,' Joey glowered and Pacey cringed. A friendship shouldn't have resulted in these comments, and friends is what they were. They were _just_ friends. But with it thrust in his face like this he couldn't deny that he found her more attractive not less as time went on, that if she enjoyed being close to him, he enjoyed it too. That he was increasingly turned on by her, and therefore increasingly affectionate, especially as they became better friends. He found her easy to talk to. He hadn't expected that from the surly teen he'd met eight months earlier but she was a good listener and she had good insight into things. He really, really liked her and at first he hadn't liked her at all. That he liked her was clearly the problem. A beautiful girl he didn't like but wanted to help was one thing. A beautiful girl whom he liked a great deal, and really, really wanted to help - that was another thing entirely.

Getting into his squad car he started the engine, pulling away before Joey had even strapped in. He was tempted to put his lights on, to indicate it was official business that had brought him to the school, but that would have been unfair. For one it was obvious that it hadn't been official business, and for two it would have brought the heat down on Joey and that just wasn't right.

'Still want pancakes?' Joey asked after a few minutes of silence, the school fading into the distance.

'I, uh...' he was stalling and she sighed,

'They got to you didn't they?'

'Jo, it's not like I care...' he began but she glared at him.

'You do care. You don't want people to know that we're friends.'

'That's not it...' he began but stopped as the police radio interrupted the moment. He spoke to Audrey and then looked at her glowering face, 'I have to go back to the station,' he spoke apologetically unwilling to examine what his relief said about him as a person.

'Sure,' she nodded. 'Drop me here and I'll go get Alex,' she picked her bag up from the footwell and he pulled to a stop in front of the medical centre daycare. Without a backward glance she headed into the building.

* * *

'What. The. Fuck. Were. You. Thinking,' Doug enunciated every word and the fell into the room like lead balloons. 'You go to the local high school, in your squad car, in uniform and you wait outside for a high school girl, a high school girl with a record, a high school girl who will probably not graduate from school school and will then go on to attend prison, and then you...' he looked at the paper in front of him and jabbed the words, 'lifted her up and twirled her. Are you screwing the kid I asked you to keep an eye on?' Doug was apparently fuming.

'No.. Of course I'm not...'

'Are you sure? Because a ton of parents think you are...'

'Even if I was it's not wrong,' Pacey pointed out.

'Great so you are,' Doug slumped down into his chair, 'that's just great. I thought you were done being a screw up Pacey.'

'I thought you were done being an ass, Doug,' he couldn't resist.

'There might be nothing legally wrong with a relationship but it really doesn't look good. You're brighter than that Pace,' Doug had at least ceased yelling.

'So I can't have a relationship with her because people won't approve?' Pacey's voice was scathing.

'She's a kid. Younger than you, constantly in trouble with the law and still at school. Your relationship makes it look like we're being lenient for sure.'

'I'm not sleeping with her,' he said again.

'Really?'

'Really. I picked her up that night when she was getting drunk on the dock, we were talking...about her friend that killed herself, about music. She played me a song and I suggested we be friends. Then the next time I see her is in Munchies - that day I bailed on you and Jack. She's freezing out at her place, the kid to. The guardian is off in the city working. So I take her to Wallmart, get her a coat and some boots, food, things for the baby and heaters. Only when I take it to her place the electricity is off. They'd have frozen Doug, so I took them to my place. The baby is the study, she's in my room and I'm on the couch.'

'That's the truth?'

'That's the truth,' he stated feeling a flash of guilt. Doug must have seen it,

'What aren't you saying?'

'I like her Doug,' he didn't say more than that - didn't need to - watching his brother appraise him.

'She needs to be out of your place. Pay the goddamned electric bill and get her out of your place. You're a cop in this town and you can't go around fraternizing,' Doug paused and then his expression softened, 'you're a nice guy with a big heart Pace. You have a hero complex and your intentions were good. I would have helped you pay the bill, or for a motel room.'

'So I can't be friends with her? That's what you're saying?'

'It's not a good idea.'

'Fine.'

'I mean it Pace. If she needs help you tell her to ask me.'

* * *

Joey was sat beside him in the squad car, her face a mask as she stared out the window.

'So we're here,' he told her and she nodded.

'The electric is back on and you have the heaters.'

'Thanks,' she wouldn't look at him and it was killing him.

'The welfare cheque went in and you have food, so you should be good.'

'Thanks,' she repeated.

'You can ask my brother for help,' he reiterated, ignoring the gnawing feeling in his stomach. Telling her they couldn't be friends had been unbelievably hard, the words getting stuck behind a lump in his throat, but he'd done it and she'd nodded, everything about her deflating - even that hard exterior as she'd gone to the study and began to pack her stuff back into those ratty plastic bags.

'You said,' she opened the door and tugged the baby from his car seat. 'I'll see you officer,' she said. 'Thanks for everything,' she sounded so broken to his ears but what was he supposed to do.

'I wouldn't have made this choice,' he said for the tenth time. 'We're still friends.'

'We're not,' she shook her head and then surprised him by stepping up close to him and pressing her cold lips to his in a simple kiss. 'We were never really just friends anyway, at least not to me.'

'Jo, I'm sorry.'

'It's ok. I get it,' she shrugged and in that second he ignored his brother, he forgot about what he should do and he wrapped his arms around both her and Alex and kissed her, not a simple kiss but a deep, ardent one, a kiss like he'd never admitted he wanted to give her. It wasn't dirty and leading like the night they'd listened to music, because unlike that night they really were friends now. They'd talked about things, things Pacey didn't normally like to talk about, and he couldn't pretend that he didn't think about her all the time, that she wasn't under his skin, because she was all he could think about and it was as if she were the blood in his veins. His palms wrapped around her face and he pressed soft kisses to her lips, his forehead pressing to hers.

'I wouldn't have made this choice,' he repeated and she nodded. 'I'll miss you.'


	6. Chapter 6

**Here is chapter 6. I'm not entirely happy with it because it was harder to actually write than it was to plan in my head lol. Hopefully it works. It's the turning point chapter if you like.**

 **Thanks for such great feedback. Love it. Sorry this wasn't quicker but I spent all day on the beach with the kids celebrating Canada Day.**

 **Please keep up the reviews - it really helps when I'm hitting that brick wall!**

 **Chapter Six**

Christmas arrived with its usual fanfare, the bitter cold was still to break, and was warmed only by the festivities. Pacey wasn't exactly thrilled with the idea of Christmas at his parents but Doug and Jack would be there, Gretchen and Anna were coming in from Boston, and Kerry and the kids made things fun. As fractured as his relationship was with his parents, his relationship with each of his siblings was sound and strong.

Two weeks to the day he'd said goodbye to Joey he drove out to her small shack of a house and tugged two stockings from the back of his squad car - one for Joey and one for Alex. He'd talked himself in and out of the gifts about a million times but justified it as an acceptable gesture or a good samaritan.

As he laid the stockings on the front step he thought about knocking. It was really, really tempting, but with the heated community outcry following their little display at the high school, and Doug's harsh words and reminders, it didn't seem like the best plan. He could lose his job - he knew what Doug had been hinting and he loved his job. The house was still and dark anyway. He wondered what kind of Christmas she would have and hoped it would be a little better with his stocking full of hair ties, fancy bath supplies, chocolate and a couple of records of music they'd listened to together. It wasn't much, but it was something.

* * *

Christmas Day was what he'd expected. His dad got drunk, everyone talked loudly, but he got to hang out with his siblings. It was late in the afternoon, his dad snoring in his chair when Kerry finally sat down with him, Gretchen, Doug and Jack.

'God Pace, it feels like I haven't seen you in weeks,' she murmured softly.

'I really haven't seen him in weeks,' Gretchen teased. 'You got a girlfriend or something?'

'Don't joke about _that_ ,' Doug stated sharply and pointedly.

'Woah, did you piss off big brother?' Gretchen grinned in delight at the potential gossip.

'You got a girlfriend?' it was Kerry's turn to look delighted, but it wasn't in her nature to relish the gossip.

'I didn't get a girlfriend,' he glared at Doug, wacking him on the shoulder - he wasn't the Cheif of police today, just his big brother.

'He had an inappropriate _flirtation_ ,' Doug clarified.

'He did something nice,' Jack surprised him by defending him to Doug.

'But it wasn't entirely innocent,' Doug said back.

'Look, some of us don't have a clue what you're talking about,' Gretchen said loudly.

'Is this about that baby and the janitor job?' Kerry looked to Pacey.

'What baby? What janitor?' Gretchen burst out in frustration.

'The guy never turned up you know,' Kerry said matter of fact.

' _What_?' Pacey stared at his sister.

'We had to give the job to someone else,' Kerry said. 'And the daycare couldn't keep the baby.'

'What baby?' Gretchen yelled again.

'Pacey tried to help some crim kid. You know the type - too tough a life, leading to petty crimes. Will end up in prison.'

'She's a nice girl,' Pacey defended. 'You make it sound like she's just another criminal.'

'To us she is, has to be.'

'Shouldn't we try and keep her out of prison? Rather than just accept that she'll end up there?'

'That's not the point, of course we'll do what we can to help but on an official level.'

'That's bullshit,' Pacey shook his head. 'I'm at least going to make sure everything is ok.'

'You're not,' Doug shook his head.

'I am,' Pacey glared at his brother, the jovial atmosphere destroyed by the sudden tension,

'I'll have to fire you Pace, don't make me do that please. You're an excellent cop but you can't have a relationship with that girl. She gets in too much trouble and it will bring a fucking thunderstorm of shit onto the department.'

'What if she's not ok?'

'She's not your responsibility.'

'They were starving,' Pacey's voice was getting higher and more stressed.

'You told her to come to me if she needed help. That's what she'll do if she really needs it,' Doug maintained and Pacey seethed, surprised when his father spoke up,

'Like hell she will,' his voice was gruff with alcohol and sleep. 'Out of control kid like that will do what she's always done to survive. There ain't no rehabilitating a crim.'

Pacey was torn. His dad was right, or at least he thought he was - he didn't think Joey wouldn't ask for help, she had too much pride, but he did believe in rehabilitation. That was part of the whole system - criminals served time for crimes committed with the duel hopes of retribution _and_ rehabilitation. But his dad was right again - someone who'd broken the law was more likely to do it again - statistically speaking.

'I read a study that sending kids to prison is just making the crime situation worse,' Gretchen stated, 'it's hardly the right approach. I think Pacey's approach is much better though we can't all fund the general population out of poverty. And why are you in such a big stink about him helping out?' she turned to Doug, 'seems like something you mighta done.'

'I wouldn't turn up at the high school in uniform, with my squad car and hug her, twirling her around and looking at her like she's the best thing ever,' Doug stated sourly.

'Fuck off,' Pacey kicked his brothers foot.

'You guys need to chill out,' Jack interjected himself into the conversation.

'And you guys need to realize that I need to go see her,' Pacey ignored Jack.

'Don't be a dumbass kid. Your brother is right,' John Witter shuffled in his chair and looked at his son, 'You're a good cop Pacey. Don't throw it all away for a hot piece of ass.'

'Dad,' Pacey protested,

'Don't make me regret you joining the force either. It's the only decent thing you've ever done.'

' _Dad_ ,' Doug glared at his father, 'that's outta line. Besides, what Pacey did for that girl was decent. You're too negative the whole time.'

'Excuse me for thinking this was my house,' John pushed himself out of his chair and ambled through to the kitchen.

'Ignore him,' Gretchen said.

'I think someone aught to check on the girl,' Kerry stated.

'You have reason to say that?' Jack asked. He and Kerry got on extremely well and sometimes when the family was all together and being as loud as they always tended to be he was the only one that heard the quietest Witter.

'I just feel bad for her I guess. And Pacey. It's not like he properly falls for someone often...'

'Woah, this isn't about that,' Pacey had been listening. 'It's not like I have feelings. I mean I like her...but...I haven't...it isn't...'

'You might wanna try a little harder on the whole denial thing,' Jack patted his shoulder.

'Grr,' he couldn't really find words to say.

'I'll check on her. If you want?' Jack said over the top of Doug and Gretchen debating Pacey's behaviour, an argument he could easily tune out when Jack was offering him what he wanted.

'And risk my brothers ire?' Pacey edged closer to his friend.

'I think you should,' Kerry said again. 'I just have a gut feeling.'

'Look, Doug and I head to Hawaii tomorrow, so after the new year I'll go to her house.'

'That's two weeks away,' Pacey said without thinking, 'I'm sorry. I guess I just...'

'Worry?' Kerry asked and he nodded.

'I don't know what's wrong with me,' he pushed a hand through his hair and sighed, 'after you get back would be great. Thanks,' he patted Jack's knee and got up, heading outside into the cold air.

* * *

New Years Eve and he was in bed before midnight. It was pretty pathetic but with Doug and Jack in Hawaii, and the early shift on New Years Day, there wasn't much point in driving up to Boston, or convincing anyone else from the station to head to a bar. Audrey had suggested a clandestine meeting at her place but he just couldn't find the motivation for _that_ , and _that_ was something he normally enjoyed. He turned in bed and had just decided to give up and read when the phone rang. It shocked him, but then looking at the time he realized it was probably one of his sisters wishing him a happy new year and he reached out and plucked the phone from its cradle,

'Witter,' he yawned.

'Pace?' her voice sounded tinny, but soft, barely audible.

'Joey? Are you ok?'

'They're going to take Alex, please, can you come down and sort it out. Put in for temporary guardianship, something, please.'

'What happened?'

'They arrested me. We were so hungry and I...I knew I'd get you fired if I went to you and I didn't know what to do.'

'What did you do?'

'I figured I'd get caught if I shoplifted again, so I needed money. This guy, Darren, he's had me sell stuff before so I asked him and...some off duty cop, she saw and now...they say I'll go to prison.'

'Fuck,' he swore. 'Ok, I'll be there in soon.'

* * *

He didn't put on his uniform because he wasn't heading in as a cop, just jeans, tshirt, hoody and his winter jacket.

'What's up Witter?' Drue Valentine was sat a the counter. 'Big brother send you in to check we're not screwing up New Years Eve?'

'Nah,' Pacey flushed, 'I'm here to see Josephine Potter. I spoke to Phil on dispatch and he said Holland and Davies brought her in?'

'Ah the siren drug dealer,' Drue grinned.

'I...was trying to help the girl out a while back. She called me about the baby.'

'You were her phone call?' Drue made an expression that irritated Pacey, especially when he began cracking up like it was the funniest joke ever.

'I'm going to go see her. Where's the baby?'

'In with social services...'

'Then I better see them first.'

* * *

Pacey was holding Alex after hours and hours of waiting for emergency approval to foster the kid. He couldn't deny that he was relieved. He'd spent a lot of time with the baby over the days Joey had stayed at his, and on top of that he'd always liked children. There had been no denying that the baby had bonded to him, smiling widely whenever he saw him. When his approval had final come in and the social worker handed over the wailing infant he'd held him tight and felt the rising tide of panic he'd had since Joey's phone call begin to dissipate just slightly. Of course there was enough panic left because Joey was behind bars.

Even though Pacey should have been starting his shift he wasn't in uniform, had a child to care for and he had wrangled with both Drue and the older office on duty, Doug's second in command Green, to allow him in to see Joey. The minute she saw him she stood,

'You have Alex,' her relief was palpable, 'I just had visions of him screaming with these strangers and...then being taken away and never getting him back,' she was so different from how she had been when they'd first met with her behind bars. Instead of sassy and rude, she was clearly worried, pacing up and down the cell uncertainly.

'Where's Bodie?' he asked patting the baby's back and rocking to lull him to sleep.

'Like I know,' she was suddenly seething, her whole demeanour changing in an instant morphing her back into the girl of nine months earlier. 'The number he gave me is bunk, the bank account is empty - even the fucking welfare money is gone, and he's just vanished.'

'Is that like him?' Pacey hadn't got the impression that Bodie was a flake.

'No. But then if he found my sister he might have decided to forget everything else. I don't know,' she sighed.

'Why didn't you ask for help?' he accused.

'You told me I had to stay away from you,' she defended, her eyes flashing with the hurt this had apparently caused.

'And I told you to go to Doug,' he yelled back, all too aware of how furious he actually was. He patted Alex's back as he began to grumble and then hissed at her, 'you're not stupid but this, this was dumb.'

'What choice did I have? I couldn't let Alex starve. I needed money,' her eyes were narrowed and she glared at him, but he watched her hands clenching and unclenching as her eyes kept flicking to Alex and he knew she was desperate to feel his weight in her arms.

'You could have gone to Doug. That was your best choice but instead you chose to deal drugs...'

'I went to your brother...and God do you have any idea how fucking awful it is to think of what that might have resulted in. He'd have wanted to know why, he'd have asked about Alex and Alex would have been taken from me. He would have. Fuck. You don't get it. People never do. They think it's so easy. It must be my fault. He's not mine but he's all I have. I can't lose him.'

'What did Doug say?'

'They told me he was away for ten days. We'd have been dead. I knew if I went to you you'd lose your job and you've been so kind, so sweet, those stockings at Christmas and so I did what I had to do. I couldn't have asked you anyway. I mean it was all doomed really wasn't it? This situation was untenable. I have no money, there's no adult, there's me and a baby who no one in their right mind would give me guardianship of. I tried to get a job. I begged at the diner for work, but I had the baby and they said it was too big a risk. The price of daycare...I mean I wouldn't have earned anything. I had no choice.'

'We always have a choice,' he growled but his anger faded as she let out a soft hiccup and her eyes filled with tears. She covered her eyes with her palms and heaved in a few ragged breaths,

'Will I go to prison?'

'I don't know but I'd be surprised if you didn't.'

'Can you bring him closer?' she asked, her voice crackling in its fragility.

'Sure,' he took a step towards the bars and turned Alex to face her. She pushed her hand through the bars and took hold of his small one. 'I love you,' she whispered softly, and then shifted her eyes to look at him, 'don't hate me.'

'I don't hate you. I could never hate you,' he put his hand on top of hers that was still clasped around Alex's, and felt his heart begin to race, and his stomach tighten because when she looked at him there was so much in it. Her teeth clamped down on her bottom lip, the lip he felt an overwhelming desperation to kiss. 'Fuck,' he dropped his gaze.

'Are you ok?' she released Alex's hand and turning her palm to his, laced their fingers together.

'No,' he shook his head without looking up, the weight of realization keeping his head bowed low.

'I'm sorry,' she repeated, clearly interpreting his behaviour as anger.

'No Jo, don't be sorry. I just...I...fuck...I guess my family are right is all...'

'Right?'

'About me falling for you? They said I'd fallen for you and I said it wasn't about that but...fuck. What did you do to me?' he asked hollowly staring at the tall girl, with her dark eyes and permanent scowl. Only the scowl didn't seem so permanent, not when she was looking at him like he had two heads. Feeling a flush of embarrassment he tugged his hand from hers,

'I'll look after Alex. I'll arrange some thing with the daycare and my sister. I'll see what I can do for you. I can try and seek lenience given the circumstances. My sister is a lawyer. She might help.'

'Pacey stop,' she reached through the bars and caught his hand again.

'What?' he wouldn't look at her.

'Thank you,' she whispered and it was exactly what he didn't want to hear. He wanted to hear the three words she said to Alex he realized in a moment of emotional clarity, a clearness of vision that had evaded him for months. He wanted her affection, he would welcome her adoration, he would probably do anything for her.

'You're welcome,' he said swallowing down his bitter disappointment. It was stupid because he knew that she'd been playing him. That she'd take what she could get as long as he was offering it - she'd said so herself. Even though he knew the flirtation, the touches, the kisses had probably all been an elaborate manipulation he couldn't help but feel he knew the real her, even though her actions were probably designed to make him feel that way. Inhaling sharply he turned and left.


	7. Chapter 7

**This isn't as long as I wanted but hopefully you enjoy. It's not very jovial but hopefully it is realistic.**

 **It felt appropriate that there be a certain amount of tension with this chapter.**

 **Please, please review. I have been loving all the feedback on this one!**

 **p.s. I'm going camping tonight. I have no more written. There may be a gap before the next update. I'll do my best to write a bit here and there.**

 **Chapter Seven**

'So let me get this straight,' Anna, his eldest sister, fixed him with her steely gaze, 'you never actually slept with this girl?'

'I told you no a billion times,' he sighed in frustration his eyes tracking Alex as he crawled around his now baby proofed living room.

'But you wanted to?' Anna narrowed her eyes.

'Of course I fucking wanted to, she's frickin' gorgeous,' he leant back on his couch, putting his feet up on the coffee table, his frustration palpable.

'There's no point getting in a piss with me - I'm trying to help,' she reminded him.

'I know. I just don't get why it's so important.'

'The judge needs to believe you Pace. We're asking for lenience and the girls been given lenience.'

'Look she's beautiful for sure, and yes I like her a lot but we agreed to be friends. We were only ever friends.'

'So no touching, no kissing, no near misses?' she asked and his cheeks burned, 'I need to know.'

'The first night we became friends, a drank a few to many beers and we kissed. And there may have been some touching, but I stopped it. We kissed a few other times.'

'So that's it?'

'She...uh...she grabbed me down there,' Pacey stuttered.

'Did you ask her to?'

'No! I asked her not to,' he rolled his eyes.

'Then we're good,' Anna shrugged.

'But what about the day I went to the high school?'

'No one saw you kiss, no one saw hands in inappropriate places. You helped her study for a test and she passed. You were happy. Friends are happy for each other,' Anna said pointedly.

'But honestly I think I feel more for her than friends...' Pacey admitted with a frown.

'Well that's obvious,' Anna shrugged, 'and that's ok because you didn't act on it. Why didn't you arrest her when she was drunk on the docks?'

'She wasn't that drunk in my opinion and she wasn't disorderly. I delivered her home.'

'Ok,' Anna nodded. 'What about the time she was accused of shoplifting?'

'They found nothing on her,' he stated and Anna narrowed her eyes, 'she'd taken baby food and a bar of chocolate from the food bank bin. In my professional opinion it would have been wrong to charge her.'

'It's going to be hard for her to avoid prison,' Anna told him carefully. 'They like to go in tough with these young kids, the idea being they get scared shitless and don't reoffend. If you ask me Gretch is right - they just come out the other end hardened and more likely to recommit.'

'What about Alex?' he asked.

'Seems you can keep him for the duration. If you want to? Isn't that what the social worker said?'

'Pretty much, now I've organized to have day time shifts and Kerry will have him if I have a night shift. He's got a place back at the medical centre daycare where Kerry can look in on him - that didn't hurt.'

'So do you want too?'

'What if Bodie reappears?' Pacey frowned.

'Have you looked into what happened to him?'

'Joey thinks he reconnected with her sister. Apparently he's wildly in love with her and becomes blinkered. She's not even angry with him.'

'She should be.'

'I just...I feel like we dropped the ball. Dougy was away and she tried to ask for help and...'

'That'll all work in her favour.'

'Ok,' he nodded.

'Look I'll see you tomorrow. You get the kid to bed and get a good nights rest yourself.'

'Ok. Thanks Anna.'

'Anytime.'

* * *

'I'm sorry Pace, really I am,' Anna said as she sat down at the table in Munchies. Jack, Doug and Pacey had headed there after the trial.

'It was a long shot, he knew that,' Doug reassured his sister and Pacey nodded.

'She was so stupid,' he managed to say at last.

'Stupid?' Anna frowned.

'Why would she do something so dumb? Of course she was going to get caught and she knew, she _knew_ she'd end up in prison.'

'And what exactly should she have done?' Anna frowned. 'Let the baby starve until Doug got back?'

'She knows where I live,' he glared at his sister, his anger bubbling over.

'And she knew you'd get fired.'

'Would I have? Because the way I see it, if she'd asked for help she wouldn't have needed to break the law and then there'd be no issue with her asking me for help.'

'You told her not to,' Doug said calmly.

'Because you told me to!' Pacey nearly yelled and Jack put a hand on his arm.

'Breathe Pace,' he instructed and Pacey listened.

'All I'm saying is she could have come to me...'

'I think it says how much she thinks of you that she chose not to,' Anna pointed out gently. 'You know, not wanting to get you into any kind of trouble.'

'I don't think she thinks at all,' Pacey said harshly, knowing he was being unfair but too angry and too frustrated to temper it. She'd gotten a year in minimum security. A year because it wasn't a first offence and a cop was the witness. She was eligible for parole with good behaviour and that was because of why she did it. All Pacey could think about was every way that prison would change her, because it would. Some people were crushed and others fought to survive, but that fight took its toll. And he cared. He didn't want her to become harder, to become more cynical, to lose the small amount of softness she had left after life had already battered her so much.

'I think you need to calm down,' his brother said, and though the words were irritating Doug reached out and squeezed his shoulder. 'I fucked up Pace. You should never have said she couldn't come to you for help, it's obvious now that she would have gone to you, but I put the threat out there because I was worried about the way this girl makes you behave. You can't see sense. Hell you've become a father to Alex _for he_ r, simply because she _asked_. You clearly like her a lot and I get that, but I was worried because she was still at school, because I was afraid of something like this.'

'If you'd let me help her this probably wouldn't have happened,' Pacey hissed.

'And that's why I'm apologizing. Because I can see that now,' Doug let out a long breath and Jack gave him a pointed look.

'You need to tell him,' he said and Doug nodded,

'Tell me what?' Pacey frowned.

'Be a support to her. Forgive her this mistake and support her.'

'I know what you're saying but I'm too angry,' he admitted.

'Just don't let her drift away in the system. Before you know it she'll be gone,' Doug warned.

'She wanted me to ask you to go and see her,' Anna said gently. 'You and Alex.'

'She wants to see the baby and not me. Me - I'm just the idiot she manipulated into caring. She told me herself she'll take what she can get.'

'Pace, come take a walk with me,' Jack said and Pacey looked at him in surprise,

'It's freezing out.'

'So?' Jack shrugged.

* * *

'So why are we out here walking about in the freezing cold?' Pacey stared at his friend waiting for him to speak.

'I have something in common with Joey,' Jack said at last.

'What?'

'You remember my mom?'

'Sure,' Pacey nodded.

'She just couldn't get over my brother dying. She went from this loving, caring person to this person I just didn't recognize. She wasn't a weak person Pace, but she just couldn't handle the cards she'd been dealt.'

'What's that have to do with Joey?'

'Joey's mom killed herself. When she was twelve. About a week after her dad was given life. I don't know what kind of person her mom was. I don't know whether she was prone to depression, a user, or what. But apparently Joey found her.'

'Oh my god,' he stared kind of blankly at Jack as the information ran through his synapses, 'but her best friend killed herself?'

'Mrs Ryan always blamed Joey for giving her granddaughter the idea, claimed that she infected her granddaughter with morbid thoughts and inappropriate escape routes.'

'She...uh...she said something... something a bit like that,' he stumbled over the words.

'It's not up to me to tell you the details but Joey chose to do _something_ rather than runaway. Look at her family, look at everyone in her life. She knew it was a risk but it was something. It backfired, sure, but perhaps you should recognize that she's fighting. That's monumental when your entire family runs away.'

'Maybe she _is_ running,' Pacey said after a prolonged silence. 'I mean maybe she wanted to get caught.'

'So she could escape all the stresses of life in _prison_?' Jack sounded sceptical.

'She knows I'll look after Alex. She does. Maybe it was her way of running, to be removed so she can escape this life. She made things change.'

'I don't think prison is going to be the change she wants,' Jack shook his head, 'you're not normally a judgemental guy Pace. God knows I've needed you on my side before and you were there. Why are you treating this girl like she's five or ten years older than she is? Like she's had guidance and love? She's a scared eighteen year old who's struggled through life. Given that you're nearly six years older perhaps you aught to grow up,' Jack gave Pacey a hard look and headed back into the diner.

* * *

'You came,' the bright orange didn't suit her and she was fidgeting, looking around the room. She reached out her hands and he handed her Alex who actually hugged her. For a one year old he did great hugs and Joey pressed her nose into his hair, her arms wrapped around his small body.

'Oh I missed you Alex,' she kissed his cheeks.

'Jo Jo,' Alex smiled widely and Joey held him even closer her eyes heavy with tears. 'Is he ok?' she asked and he nodded,

'For a kid that only has ten words he says your name a lot.'

'Ten?' she looked thrilled and distraught in one go.

'Yeah. Jo, hi, bye, more, mine, car, no, sleep, kiss and Pace,' he said with a stain of red appearing on his cheeks.

'Pace? He says your name?' she smiled, but again looked like a mixture of emotions ran through her as a tear trailed down her cheek.

'Jo,' God it hurt to see her sad. Instinctively he reached for her, his thumb brushing the tear away before he remembered himself and pulled his hand away. He looked to the guard who gave him a look and he reached for Alex, 'I'm sorry,' he said and realized that he was sorry, and not just for taking the baby from her arms.

'And why are you sorry?' she sat back and he could see how that the bravado wasn't real, that she wasn't as confident as she pretended. 'The way I see it, I'm the one who should be sorry.'

'I'm sorry I was disappointed in you. I didn't have any right to feel that way,' he gave her a look he hoped conveyed his sincerity. Alex began to grumble so he pulled some cheese cubes and raspberries from hi bag, and put them in front of the baby.

'That's why I did it,' she gestured the food he placed in front of the baby. 'One day Alex cried and I had nothing to give him. I mean nothing. So I...I did what I had to. Your brother was away and he wouldn't stop crying,' she gestured to the baby, 'and all I could think was that they'd say I was an adult and they'd take him away. I didn't know what to do and so I panicked.'

'I understand panic,' he wanted to take her hand, thread his fingers through hers and give her comfort. He wanted to make it better.

'I thought...' he hesitated, 'I thought that maybe you wanted to get caught,' he raised his head and his eyes locked with hers. 'I thought maybe you had it all planned - that I'd take Alex and you'd...you'd get to be away from your life...' his voice was soft but her eyes hardened and she abruptly stood from the table, but then she hovered by the table shifting from foot to foot.

'You though I'd run like everyone else?' she said at length, raising her eyes to his. They weren't full of tears but filled with a hardness he hated because he saw it as the mask she wore that hid the real her,

'It was a method of running away,' he stated.

'Think what you like,' she bit her lower lip and narrowed her eyes, 'I don't care what you think of me anyway,' and she signalled to the guard who took her away.


	8. Chapter 8

**So I actually managed to get some writing done while camping! No campfires to write around because British Columbia has some crazy forest fires, but it was atmospheric enough for some writing.**

 **A little angst, a little romance.**

 **Thanks for the reviews. Please keep reviewing - I do so love them!**

 **Tab xx**

 **p.s. I'm very tired - if there are errors, please tell me.**

 **Chapter Eight**

'You gonna talk to me any time soon?' it was Pacey's second visit to see Joey and so far they'd sat there in silence. A full half hour of silence. He'd left Alex at home with Kerry because the kid had a fever. He'd been in two minds whether to come or not but in the end he just couldn't stay away. Rightly or wrongly he wanted to see her. At his question she looked up at him, her pretty, pouty mouth pursed, the whole expression suggesting that she was holding a lot in. 'Come on Jo,' he urged.

'You may have been right,' she said the words so quietly he could barely hear.

'Huh?'

'I said you may have been right. I did want to run away,' she curled her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them, her eyes pressed into her legs.

'Joey,' he pleaded his heart beating loudly, and with each beat this pain, like it was hitting something soft and sensitive.

'I just wanted to keep Alex safe, that was all. And I knew that if anyone official knew that we were alone, then they'd take him. I didn't choose this consciously but I think somewhere inside... maybe I wanted to get caught because then I could ask you to take him. I justified the action because I told myself you'd do it if something happened, that you would look out for him and me,' she sniffed, and Pacey was surprised to find himself bristling with indignation, her words making him feel that he'd been somehow manipulated, that she was using his obvious attraction and entrancement to her benefit.

'So I was just another pawn in your game of manipulation? There's Pacey, he's a sucker for a girl in distress, he likes me, I'll just tread all over his life...' he growled and she looked horrified,

'You don't want Alex?' her distress was obvious. He sighed,

'I love that kid and of course I want him, but that's not the point,' he glared at the Formica table top.

'The point is you think I'm using you,' she said dropping her legs and staring at him. Her face was entirely void of expression.

'You told me that so long as I was being nice to you you'd take what you could get, or something like that. Maybe you're using my obvious... _you_ _know_... maybe you're making me think you care... I mean you said you use blow jobs to get what you need, so why... '

'And that makes me a bad person?' she interuptted, a flicker of hurt flashing across her face,

'Not a bad person...' he began but she leant forward,

'And you've never lied to a girl because you thought it might get you laid? Never had sex when there weren't any emotions, but made her think there were? Or even to get what you wanted? Never taken something you shouldn't?'

'We're not talking about me,' he frowned because of course he had used sex as both a means to an end and he'd manipulated himself into sex.

'We're not talking the entire football team here Pace. We're not even talking sex. We're talking being in tricky situations and using what I had available to escape the situations. It's not the crime of the century. If you recall my mouth went no where near your cock,' she was all hard and feisty again, all the softness he'd exposed had evaporated in the wake of his accusation.

'I didn't even get that,' he scoffed because he was hurt and when hurt he attacked. It hurt because he had fallen for this girl, inadvisably and apparently irretrievably. She was all he could think about, the only girl he wanted and she was in prison. It was ridiculous and pathetic.

'I did offer,' she snarked back at him.

'Fuck,' he swore because it was that or throw something. The guard took a step in their direction and so he apologized breathing deeply to calm himself. 'I told you I didn't want you to kiss me, or touch me or do any of that because you felt like you owed me, or because you wanted something.'

'And I _didn't_ ,' she was clearly exasperated.

'You did. You kissed me, you touched me and it was all so I could fall under your spell and do your bidding,' he felt the sting of tears and burned with embarrassment.

'No I _didn't_ ,' there was no loss of composure for her. 'Maybe at first, that moment on the dock, but not after that, after we listened to the music I kissed you because I wanted to. In fact you're the only person I've ever kissed because I really wanted to, without some ulterior motive. I kissed you because you were kind, because you bought a heater for Alex's room that had thermostatic control, because you locked your gun away every single day even though Alex couldn't even crawl. I kissed you because you got Alex the things he needed and you took care of me. No ones ever taken care of me before. You made me feel like I was worth something when everyone else in my life has runaway from me.'

'Jo,' his voice cracked and he rubbed at his eyes surprised to find them wet yet again.

'I might seem like a mistress of manipulation but I've ever planned to be that way. I've needed things and done what I had to to get them. I wouldn't know how to manipulate you.'

'But you see... I don't know what to trust... You know how much I like you. You know I've fallen for you...that I'm crazy about you. Everything you're saying could be artful manipulation.'

'I'm eighteen and in prison. My dad's serving life for murder. My sister abandoned me and her baby. My mom killed herself. My best friend killed herself and then the one person who seemed to care enough to stick around - he left as well. I'm not capable of the type of manipulation you credit me with. I'm not capable of much if you hadn't noticed. I wanted more than just survival and this is what I got. I'm never going to be awarded custody of Alex. Maybe subconsciously I wanted to escape but not to this. Of course I wanted more than what I have.'

'I'm sorry,' he whispered, 'look, we'll talk next time ok?'

'You're going?' a flicker of desperation swam over her features.

'Yes,' he nodded and stood. She stood too.

'Pace,' his name came out half strangled and he saw a myriad of emotions swarm over her face. She reached out and caught his hand. Knowing that he didn't quite trust her, but knowing that she was in his life one way or another now, and that his heart apparently beat for her, he threaded his fingers through hers. 'I've only ever wanted the things other people take for granted. Warmth when it's cold, food when I'm hungry, lights that turn on when it's dark outside. And love. I've always felt that no one has ever loved me, or cared for me or even wanted me. You made me feel better about myself.'

'I'll see you next month,' he said and her face fell. On instinct he pulled her hand to his mouth and pressed a soft kiss to her knuckles.

* * *

'You came?' she looked thinner than before and that was saying something.

'I did,' he smiled gently. 'Look Al it's Jo Jo,' he pointed to Joey but Alex nuzzled his nose into his neck. 'Give him a few minutes,' Pacey reassured at Joey's crestfallen expression. It had been two months and Alex didn't talk about Joey so much any more. 'He's been clingy in general. He used to love daycare now he's all "pace, pace," and holding out his little chubby arms. Breaks my heart.'

'This breaks mine,' she said, her voice smaller than it had been.

'Look Jo, I've been thinking a lot, I mean an awful lot since my last visit. There are a couple of things I wanted to say,' he looked at her, shifting Alex in his arms. 'Look at your aunty - she really wants a cuddle,' he whispered and Alex smiled.

'Cuddle,' he said in his baby voice and Joey's smile was so bright that Pacey couldn't temper his own in response. He handed the small boy over and watched as she lifted him above her head and blew raspberries on his belly, before holding him close to her chest.

'What did you want to say,' she asked as Alex sat on her knee as her finger drew patterns on his hand. Pacey removed some raspberries from his bag and some cheese and put them in front of Alex, hoping the food would allow him to say what he needed to without the child grumbling.

'Firstly, I had no right to be disappointed in you ever. I had way to high expectations of you. I expected you to behave as an adult would, an adult who had been lovingly brought up, one who functioned within normal circumstances. Your circumstances weren't normal.'

'Ok,' she nodded thoughtfully.

'Secondly, the manipulation thing. I accused you of manipulation and again I think I was wrong. That I was unfair. I think I felt manipulated but that's because you make me feel crazy and I just want to do stuff for you and I don't always know or choose to recognize why and so it was easier to blame you of manipulation that search introspectively for why I have behaved as I have.'

'Why have you?'

'Ah, ain't that the million dollar question,' he shifted a little in his chair. As he'd said to Joey he had thought a lot about everything that had happened, all that their interactions had included. He'd even taken off for a weekend, heading into the city to stay with Gretchen. Alex had liked Gretchen and that had helped Pacey spend some time with his own thoughts. It had been hard to realize that he'd been unfair. That he had accused her of things he didn't believe she'd done. If she had manipulated him it was accidental and definitely aided by his feelings for her. He'd been sat in Gretchen's living room. She was in bed and so was Alex, and he'd had time alone. He'd always done his best thinking in the middle of the night - or out on the ocean. It was too cold to be out on the ocean so he'd had to take the middle of the night. Something about the silence allowed his thoughts to crash in on him, like a wave dragging him under and forcing him to swallow the salty water. Only the salty water was truths he'd avoided. The first truth being that when he first saw Joey something happened to him. She wasn't just a pretty kid, not to him. He felt something shift inside and he'd ignored it because she was on the wrong side of the bars. The second truth was that he liked her. That he found her really easy to hang out with and being with her was just about his favourite thing. When she had stayed with him he had loved that moment of arriving home each day and it had been all to do with her. The third truth was that he'd tried to hide from his feelings and had blamed her. It was a nasty habit that had been destructive in his youth, except then he'd blamed himself. He accused her of manipulation to mask what he felt. What he felt was the fourth truth. He loved her. It could only be love he reasoned. That instantaneous shift inside, wanting to be with her constantly and thinking about her when he wasn't. The desire and need to make sure she was ok, to do things for her. And desire in general.

'Pace,' Alex reached for him at that moment and he took the child, breathing in and out, attempting to calm himself as the internal debate waged inside over whether to tell her or not.

'What's the answer? To that question?' she leaned forward.

'I think we should be friends,' he said with an assertive nod.

'That's not exactly an answer,' she frowned, her beautiful brow marred by her apparent disappointment. She slumped back in her chair.

'You know friends is underrated,' he attempted brightly. 'I think we should talk, and hang out - when you're out of here of course. I'll even paint your nails and do your hair. We can play pool, go to the movies, bake cakes. You can teach me to paint. Be friends. Do whatever friends do,' he smiled at her, and even though it didn't quite reach his eyes he gave it his best shot.

'What's the answer to the question?' she persisted, 'why have you behaved the way you have?' He stared at her and he figured she must know or be suspicious, because he had told her he had fallen for her. Or something. But then, he had credited her with knowing and abusing that knowledge before. Maybe she didn't have a clue. Maybe she didn't have a clue because she'd never been loved before.

'Why do you think I've behaved as I have?' he asked softly.

'Because you feel sorry for me,' she answered swiftly. 'And maybe because you want to...' she trailed off as she stared at Alex and then tilted her head to one side and gave him the tiniest smirk, 'take me to bed. That drives a lot of men crazy.' It figured she thought it was about sex rather than love. Sex seemed a lot simpler than love.

'No,' he shook his head, still waging the internal debate he'd been waging since his realization. Joey was vulnerable. She was lonely and in prison and she hadn't ever felt loved. To throw his love at her was an appealing option but he couldn't shake the notion that this might influence her into thinking she was in love. That she might crave love so much she'd imagine herself in love. He didn't want that.

'So what?' she frowned.

'Be friends with me Jo,' he beseeched and as if recognizing she'd get no more from him she nodded,

'I'm not sure I know how,' she admitted.

'Start by telling me how it is in here?'

'Horrible,' she sighed. 'I want to get out of here but I don't even know where I'd go. The thought of home fills me with dread.'

'You can do anything with your life when you get out Jo. You just have to not reoffend.'

'Hardly,' she scoffed. 'Nobody wants to give someone with a record a job. Or a child,' she looked longingly at Alex.

'We'll work through all that,' Pacey reassured her. 'My sister Kerry is excellent at finding work for people. You're young, let's hope you won't be forever judged by this.'

'I won't be eligible for state housing. Without a job I'm back in the trailer,' she sighed.

'So we make the trailer better - that's what friends are for,' he smiled brightly, knowing he wanted them to live together but knowing he couldn't push it. He couldn't say they should be friends and then push his own agenda, ruled by his heart.

'Ok,' she nodded but looked down. 'Pace,' her voice was timid and he leant across and took her hand, Alex mimicking his action and smiling. She found a smile at the sight, 'never mind,' she swallowed back whatever had been on the tip of her tongue. 'I would love to be your friend.'

'Are you ok in here?' he asked again and this time she shook her head,

'I hate it here. I feel like I'm constantly scared and I'm just waiting, always waiting because I keep thinking if I keep my head down I can get out. Then I'm terrified because I have no idea what out will involve.'

'No one is picking on you?'

'No,' she was being cautious.

'The guards are being...appropriate?'

'Yes,' again she was holding back.

'Then keep doing what you're doing. You may even be out next month,' he reassured wishing she would open up.

'I miss you. I mean I miss Alex but somehow I miss you more than anything.'

'I miss you too,' he admitted, her words soothing him because that was what he wanted. Somehow their fingers were tangled together and he found himself staring at her.

'There's this one girl,' she began suddenly, her words rushed, 'I'm sure she's just playing at intimidation but she's constantly staring at me and it makes me nervous,' her eyes flooded with tears and her throat sounded tight as if she were on the brink of a huge emotional outburst, 'I don't want to be here anymore Pace. I would rather be freezing and starving than in here. I'd rather be anywhere than in here. Tell me what to do, please?' tears began to leak from the corners of her eyes and he stood instinctively to comfort her but the guard reprimanded him. Alex began to fret so he pulled out a cookie,

'Jo, just stay out of her way. I can talk to a guard if you're worried.'

'No don't. I don't trust the guards, not at all. I know I shouldn't say that but I don't. They seem completely power hungry and the way they look at me is no better than some of the inmates - it feels wrong.'

'Are you scared they might hurt you?'

'Sometimes yes,' she admitted.

'Look, I'll talk to Anna, ok, as soon as I leave today and she'll apply some pressure for early release. If they know you have someone on your side it might help. Look I'll do what I can.'

'Please,' she sniffed and wiped at her eyes with the sleeves of her prison top. 'I miss my music, I miss doing art, I miss fresh air. I miss Alex and you. I know I deserve this, I know I did the wrong thing but I wouldn't, not again.'

'Look, we'll sort something out I promise,' he pulled her hand to his lips and pressed soft kisses to her knuckles.

'Thank you,' she nodded and for the first time when he looked at her he saw not the masks she wore but the terrified kid she really was. He didn't doubt the honesty of her words, that she was truly scared. That was the other truth he realized when he had been thinking. The truth was he'd been terribly unfair to her in many ways because it was obvious that she rebelled because she hated her life and wanted to escape, she wore the clothes and makeup because she needed or wanted to present a hard exterior. She didn't want to appear as fragile as she probably was. He didn't doubt that she was steely and strong, and amazing, but even the strong can crumble, and he didn't think she was as hard as she made out, he was pretty certain it all masked someone who needed love and care. Of course she _could_ survive without it, she'd proven that, but he thought it might make her happier and she deserved happiness.


	9. Chapter 9

**I hope you enjoy this. Thank you for reviewing. It keeps me motivated in times of crazy five child summers. Please keep reviewing, they make it worth writing instead of watching tv slack jawed;-)**

 **Thanks, Tab xx**

 **p.s. I hope I'll update soon but I have not a single word written. Aagh**

 **Chapter Nine**

'Ok Pace, you asked for it,' Anna let herself into his apartment without knocking, kicking off her shoes and scooping up Alex who was attempting to crawl out the open apartment door.

'Tell me, tell me.'

'They'll release her at the end of the month if you'll take "responsibility" for her,' Anna made quotation marks in the air.

'Responsibility?'

'They don't want to give her early release and find her up before a judge again in a month. Let her live with you, get her back at school and...'

'Actually I found this art college...it's not far, just up the coast. It's only a bus ride away and I spoke to them about her work and...' he couldn't stop his enthusiasm as he held his arms out to Alex, who Anna had set on his feet. The baby managed a couple of steps before falling on his bottom.

'Whatever, whatever Pace. She needs to keep out of trouble,' Anna interuptted, her words serious but her tone sing songy as she held out her hands to Alex and waggled her fingers to entice him to walk back to her.

'I think she knows that,' Pacey quickly reassured, knowing Anna was doing this for him, as a favour.

'And you can have her live with you?'

'Well I'll be in the bigger place by the creek by then,' he'd just signed on for a three bedroom "cottage" on the creek. It was less than half a mile out of town and needed some work, but it didn't feel right having Alex in his small apartment. His salary was good enough that he could afford the small house. Best of all it had a dock. He figured he'd probably build a fence enclosing the back yard for Alex, he didn't want the little guy ending up in the water, but that was all in the future. It already had an enclosed front yard where he and Alex could play together. 'Alex will have a room and she can have a room. I'll need to scrounge up some furniture for it,' he was already thinking about how he could make it pretty. He'd head to her old place and get the duvet he'd bought her, put some plants in there, some drawers for her clothes and maybe a dressing table. His mom had been talking about getting rid of Kerry's old one. It was old but pretty and he thought Joey might like something like that. He wouldn't make it too girly, she wasn't a kid anymore, not really, but it could be simple and nice. He could even go to Ikea, get her some picture frames for her art and a candle. Girls seemed to love candles, though she wasn't a typical girl.

'I have a spare bed,' Anna eyed him carefully. 'I'm replacing mine, moving my old one into the guest room and you can have the old guest one for her. It's not bad...'

'She's slept on the family couch and in prison. I think any bed will be great,' he smiled at his sister who gave him a very searching look. 'What?' he frowned,

'You're totally in love aren't you,' she gave him a knowing look, one that deepened in knowingness as he blushed.

'We're just friends.'

'Right,' Anna rolled her eyes. 'So when I ask will you be alright having her stay with you, I guess I mean it on every level?'

'Yes, I'm fine having her stay with me,' he tried to sound convincing but Anna gave him a knowing look.

* * *

'So how come I was the lucky one chosen to come and collect her from prison with you?' Gretchen asked from beside him in his squad car. She stared at her brother watching the red creep across his cheeks, 'you're blushing an awful lot these days little bro,' she teased.

'I was worried I'd kiss her silly if I was alone,' he admitted because he was always honest with Gretchen, 'and we're supposed to be just friends.'

'I'm your chaperone?' Gretchen squeaked in dismay and Pacey gave her a shit eating grin,

'That you are big sis,' he teased.

'At least I get to meet her,' she offered up brightly.

'I'm not sure what you'll think,' he warned. 'I mean I think she's wonderful.'

'Your taste has always been a little sketchy,' Gretchen shrugged.

'Haha,' he shot her a disparaging look. 'She's not like the other girls I've gone for.'

'At least she's legal now,' Gretchen stated pointedly.

'I wouldn't have gone near her if she wasn't.'

'Even if you were _in love_ ,' she teased in a silly voice.

'Even then,' he whacked her lightly on the shoulder to chastise her, 'and she doesn't know how I feel.'

'Sure,' Gretchen snickered.

'You think she knows?' he felt worry crawl all over him. It was one thing to rationalize the fear of manipulation away, to know that it was wrong and stupid, and to believe her, but sometimes he felt fear none the less. Fear that she might know how he felt and be using that...he didn't even know for what anymore.

'You've told her you like her,' Gretchen made a _duh_ face. 'You took her kid, you're taking her...'

'It's not _her_ kid,' he clarified unnecessarily.

'I get kids like your girl more than the rich ones. You now my theory, that a lack of love is what prompts a lot of the crime amongst younger people. That combined with poverty is killer.'

'She said she'd never really felt loved,' Pacey admitted, 'not that I'm saying I buy into your theory. Not entirely anyway. But she said that. She said everyone's left her.'

'Everyone?' Gretchen frowned and Pacey explained Joey's past, his eyes flicking from the road to his sister as the information sank in.

'That's why I don't think she has the first clue how I really feel about her. I don't know whether she could even recognize it as love or believe that someone feels that way about her.'

'Wow,' Gretchen sat in silence for a couple of minutes, 'Maybe not. You know...'

'What aren't you saying?' Pacey chanced a quick look at his sisters pensive face.

'I'm a cop,' she began and he nodded unhelpfully,

'So am I.'

'So we believe in the system right?'

'You mean arrest the wrong doers? Send them to jail. Hope in retribution and reform?' he asked and she nodded,

'Yeah all of that. Except we kill some prisoners...'

'I don't want to get into a death penalty debate,' Pacey stated - the family had many of those.

'I'm not going to,' Gretchen rolled her eyes. 'I just don't know whether your girl deserved prison.'

'She broke the law. She sold drugs, what else were they supposed to do with her?' Pacey asked even though he agreed with his sister.

'But we're missing the bigger picture here which is why. Some kids are angry. Some are cocky and nonchalant - you know no respect. Some are violent awful people. And some, some they just get caught up in a system meant to protect vulnerable people just like them. Some of what she did... the graffiti, the drunk in public, you know it was probably a cry for help...'

'A cry for help?' Pacey asked. His family had not been very kind about that phrase.

'Yes Pace. Sometimes that's actually true. She stole when they were hungry. When the baby was starving. From the fucking food bank bin.'

'She stole beers too...'

'For the one person she thought cared about her. She turned to crime because of poverty.'

'Oh I completely agree,' Pacey nodded.

'I know, you're with me on this one, unlike dad.'

'Dad's a bastard. They're a criminal or they're not. Simple as that. No bigger picture.'

'Thing is poverty ruined her education. It ruined her opportunities and because of it she turned to crime. I don't think it was all because she was starving but I think it was all because she wanted to escape, because of a need, for love, for something different.'

'I agree,' Pacey nodded but his heart wasn't in the conversation because he'd pulled into the prison parking lot and all he could think about was the fact that he would see her, that he would get to take her away from the awful place before him. His heart was racing and his stomach was so churned up with nerves he thought he might vomit. 'Crap, I think I might be sick,' he rested his head against the steering wheel and wasn't sure whether Gretchen's comforting hand on his shoulder was helping or making things worse.

'Whatever you're feeling, she's probably feeling worse. I don't imagine she has a clue about what's going to happen to her on release. That's the problem - these kids are released straight back into situations that drove them to crime in the first place...'

'Can we cut the debate, please?' he pleaded with his sister.

'Sure, sure,' Gretchen looked kind of sheepish. 'I'm sorry. Look, let's get her out of there. The sooner the better right?'

'Right,' he nodded.

* * *

She was sat on a chair in the prison office. She was wearing the clothes she was arrested in - leggings, a baggy black sweater and the boots he had bought her. Her long legs were stretched out in front of her and she was picking at her nails. She looked thin and pale, huge bags under her eyes which were free of make up. She looked young. She looked beautiful of course - to him anyway. He wasn't sure what Gretchen made of the girl but he didn't really care either. He opened the door and stood there uncertainly, not sure what to do.

'Pacey,' her eyes brightened.

'Jo,' he gave her a small smile.

'Are you here to get me?' she clearly wasn't sure and it broke his heart because she obviously didn't expect anyone would come for her.

'Of course,' his hands itched to hold her.

'You mean I get to leave?'

'You get to come home, with me and Alex,' his smile grew at her expression of surprise.

'With you? Not to the trailer?' her optimism was so cautious, so fragile.

'With me,' he confirmed and then she was plastered to his body, her arms wrapping around his neck as she tucked her face into his chest. His arms wrapped around her thin frame as she clung to him, her body shaking, and tears from her eyes dripping into the cotton of his tshirt.

'Thank you,' she whispered the words and held him tighter. His hand smoothed over her back, and through the tangled mess of her hair.

'Uh-hum,' Gretchen cleared her throat and they both looked at her. 'We can head off. I'm Gretchen by the way,' she stuck out her hand to Joey who looked at her suspiciously. 'Pacey's big sister. Or one of them anyway,' she smiled and Joey took her hand and shook it.

'Joey,' she introduced in a quiet voice.

'I've heard lots about you,' Gretchen said in a teasing voice.

'I can imagine,' Joey gave her a reluctant smile, then her face fell slightly and she turned to Pacey, 'is Alex here?'

'Sorry. He's with Kerry,' he reassured.

'Oh good,' she sighed, 'I just...can't you know...stop thinking about him. Since he was born I've known where he is. It's been so hard not knowing what he's doing, how he is, or anything like that.'

'He's great,' Gretchen reassured.

'Walking,' Pacey added and then felt terrible as her eyes filled with tears. They didn't fall though - she swallowed a couple of times and nodded with a fake smile,

'I can't wait to see him.'

'Well let's get going then,' Gretchen told them both aware that her brother had taken Joey's hand, that he'd threaded their fingers together and that he couldn't stop looking at her with this goofy expression on his face.

* * *

Joey refused to sit in the front, insisting that Gretchen should sit there. It did seem ironic to Pacey that she was leaving prison in a squad car, locked in the back with two cops in the front. There wasn't a lot he could do about it, just try not to let his eyes flick too often to the rear view mirror. She was curled up on the back seat, staring vacantly out of the window. She didn't look particularly happy. She seemed oddly void of emotion. The only thing she did was pick at her finger nails.

The journey didn't take too long and after the half hour quiet trip he parked up in front of his new place,

'Welcome home,' he smiled and tried to bring the mood up by keeping his voice jovial.

'I'm gonna head over to Doug and Jacks,' Gretchen said, 'I promised I'd stop by before heading back to the city.'

'Sure, thanks Gretch.'

'No problem Pace. Nice to meet you Joey,' she smiled warmly at the girl who nodded, somewhat shyly.

'You too,' she spoke so softly it was hard to hear. They watched Gretchen drive away and then she turned to him, 'this place is new.'

'I wanted somewhere bigger, nicer for Alex,' he shrugged.

'It's pretty,' she looked at the small wooden house with its blue paint and plants just beginning to come to life as Spring worked it's way into being.

'You can get to the creek from the back,' he explained as he opened the front door. 'Come on in. I'll show you around,' he kicked off his shoes and showed her the downstairs, before climbing up. 'My room,' he gestured to his admittedly messy room, 'Alex's room,' he said and was desperate to show her the room he'd made for her but she was staring at Alex's room.

'Wow,' she looked at the room with wide eyes. 'He has a proper bed and books,' she ran a hand over the white crib, over the baby sleeping bag hanging on the side.

'I went bright and multi coloured - I was channeling your art work,' he admitted feeling bashful.

'I think it's the most perfect room ever. I'm so glad he has you. He's never had anything like this, never would have with us,' she picked up one of his Mr Men books. ' _Little Miss Naughty_ , that's me huh?' she put it back in place and then covered her eyes for several long moments, her breaths coming in short sharp bursts. 'Sorry,' she said at length. 'I just... Never mind.'

'Come see your room,' he took her hand.

'I have a room?' her head snapped in his direction her surprise obvious.

'Where did you think you were gonna sleep?'

'The couch?' she shrugged. 'The floor in Alex's room?'

'No you have your own room,' he tugged her across the hall and into her room, a pretty west facing room. The bed was made up with the blue bedding he'd bought her, and the dressing table looked pretty with a hairbrush and things he'd rescued from hers. He'd put her clothes in the drawers and polished the mirror. He'd bought a small side table for her record player but hadn't been able to find it at her place. Eventually he'd located a slip for the local pawnbrokers and he'd managed to retrieve it. It now sat on the small table with her records beside it.

'Pacey,' she stared open mouthed at the sight and it broke his heart that a simple room of second hand furniture could mean so much. Then his stomach dived to his feet and up to his head as she turned and pressed her mouth to his, her tongue seeking his and insistently tangling with it, her hands pushing through the short strands of hair at the back of his neck. He hadn't expected her to kiss him. In fact potential kissing hadn't been anywhere near his conscious thought. He _had_ expected a reaction to seeing her room. He'd made it to be special for her and knew that it would be, but he hadn't expected her ardent, forceful kiss. If he'd been expecting it perhaps he could have resisted, but instead of pushing forth the "just friends" line he tugged her close and welcomed her kisses, groaning softly in approval as she continued to kiss him as if she'd never stop. He loved her. That one fact clung to his heart and spread through his body with each beat. The faster his heart beat in response to his desire, the faster the love seemed to spread until it seemed to be a living entity all of its own, stronger than his own free will. He held her closer still, greedy to touch her, to share in this intoxicating moment of hedonistic insanity. He wanted to breath the words into her mouth, but instead he spoke them with his hands, with his tongue tangled with hers, with the growl of approval he made as her hands pushed themselves under his tshirt.

The shrill ringing of his telephone penetrated his lust addled brain and as though stung he stepped back from her, his breathing ragged, his desperate attraction hard to fight.

'Fuck,' he didn't mean to swear, didn't mean to sound so harsh and he winced as she recoiled at the word.

'I didn't mean...I'm sorry,' she backed away from him. 'I...'

'It's ok,' he shook his head. 'It's my fault,' he took a step in her direction but when she took another step back he moved no further. The phone insistently rang. She turned and stared out the window. He'd given her the room with the creek view on purpose. With a sigh he went to answer the phone. It was just Kerry telling him she was going to do Alex dinner and drop him home at six. Hanging up he climbed the stairs and looked into her room where the door was still ajar. She was still stood staring out at the creek.

'Thank you for sorting this room for me. I don't think I can ever repay you for all you've done.'

'I don't want you to repay me. Remember that. I just...I don't know. Want you to have a chance. To be happy.'

'What do I do now though?' she asked with a quiet despair.

'Ah, well I may have taken over a bit there,' he admitted. 'I got enthusiastic,' he admitted.

'In what way?' she seemed guarded, wary of what he might have organized. He sat on her bed and gestured for her to sit beside him.

'You have a job,' he admitted.

'You found someone willing to employ me?'

'Kerry actually. She's a bit of a whizz when it comes to finding jobs.'

'What will I be doing?'

'Part time shelf stacker at the library,' he announced grandly and she actually laughed,

'They don't want someone like me,' she assured him. 'That job is like the polar opposite of me. I don't look like a librarian. I mean what would I wear?'

'Wear your clothes, be yourself,' he wasn't looking to change her. 'You'll be surrounded by books. You said you liked English. I thought it might work out quite nicely for you.'

'They'll let me work there in my normal clothes?' she asked incredulously.

'Nothing revealing, but yeah sure,' he shrugged, 'I'm not promising you they'll like it, but work hard, be polite and they can lump it.'

'An actual job. God, an income. Regular money,' she sighed and lay back on the bed. He stared down at her, marvelling anew at her beauty. Her hair was like a mocha halo, her large eyes fixated on him. He wanted to lie with her, to cuddle, to trace patterns on her smooth stomach.

'You have to go back to school Jo,' he said because she needed to know.

'But I have a job,' she reminded him with a smirk and he rolled his eyes.

'I didn't think you'd want to return to Capeside high,' he began, 'but there's this small art college a bus ride away. I sent them photos of your graffiti. I'm sorry if that's over stepping. They offered you a conditional place. You'll need to do math and English but the majority of learning is arts based.'

'An art college?' she had this look on her face of disbelief and cautious optimism.

'It's for sixteen to nineteen year olds. You need to go meet with them. I thought you might have other work somewhere, a sketch book or something. They seemed keen though.'

'You are amazing,' she sat up and pressed her lips to the column of his neck before sniffing indulgently. 'Sorry,' she slid away from him, apparently unaware of his dilated eyes and hammering heart. She pushed her hands under her legs so she was effectively sitting on them. 'I have an old notebook of sketches,' she admitted. 'They're just dollar store sketch pads though.'

'I think that would be fine.'

'And what would I say to them? I mean if I went in. They won't want someone like me. Really they won't.'

'They will. Again just be yourself,' he reassured.

'I'm not you Pacey. I can't talk to people. I'm not even that likeable.'

'You're lovely,' he smiled and reaching forward tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

'I think you must be crazy,' she rolled her eyes.

'Crazy?' he asked with a laugh,

'You have an interesting definition of lovely,' she informed him.

'I don't.'

'Sure,' she stood and moved across the room to her record player running her hand over it, 'I can't believe you got this back for me.'

'I knew you were missing it,' he shrugged. 'It didn't seem right to leave it in that pawn shop.'

'No it didn't seem right to me either,' she ran her fingers over her records. 'Can I put on a record?'

'Sure. This is your home. You're a grown up. Don't break the law is the only rule,' he told her seriously and she gave him a look. It was an extremely cute look and so he smiled.

'Ok, let me choose,' she turned her attention back to her records before pulling out a 45 and placing it carefully on the player. She sighed, a sound of contentment as the record began to spin and she moved the needle across. She listened as the crackle sounded, everything about her still and respectful. She blinked and he saw a tear snake over her perfect cheek. As the music began to play she moved back across the room and sat beside him. Whether accidentally or on purpose he didn't know but her hand was on the mattress right next to his, and even though they weren't touching with each beat of the music it was as though the air between their pinkie fingers electrified a little bit more until somehow they were entangled together.

'That song was amazing,' he whispered as it finished and she smiled sadly,

'It's called Freedom by Richie Havens. I know that people throughout history have fought so hard, against much greater odds than those I have faced to achieve freedom. I'm often horrified by the fact that I did something that would knowingly sacrifice mine. It's funny what it does to you, being under someone else's control. Then again there wasn't a lot of freedom in my life before prison.'

'I don't imagine there was,' he looked at her, surprised to find her staring at him.

'You've given me a chance Pacey. I understand that. More than that you've given me the opportunity to change my life, to choose what I want with my freedom. I won't let you down.'

'I was wrong before, I told you that, please don't think about letting me down, or disappointing me. Don't live your life because you feel like you owe me. You don't. Live your life and be happy. That's all I want.'


	10. Chapter 10

**I don't think this is perfect but I hope it is well received. Thank you for all the great reviews. I hate asking for more but they do so keep me writing. If I don't get them I spend all my time rereading the chapter already posted. I tend to be very particular. Sorry, it's late and I am rambling. Please review:-) and thank you!**

 **Tab xx**

 **Chapter Ten**

Pacey awoke suddenly with a racing heart and the feeling that something was wrong. He blinked in the darkness and listened for Alex, but the baby was quiet.

'I'm sorry,' her voice came from the dark doorway and he yelped in surprise.

'Jesus, you scared the crap out of me,' he sat up and as his eyes adjusted he saw her standing there, her eyes glinting in the strip of moonlight his curtains let in. He glanced over at his clock and saw that it was two am. 'Are you ok?' he asked and she shook her head but didn't move. It was kind of eery and he wished she'd say something, anything rather than just standing there. 'Can I help?' he asked and she began to fidget with the hem of the tshirt she was wearing, inadvertently flashing her underwear which of course distracted him. 'Joey,' he flicked his attention back to her face, 'I was asleep and now I'm not. It's the middle of the night and I have work in five hours...'

'Can I sleep here?' her voice was small. She was clearly unsure of herself.

'Huh?' he stared at her in confusion. She padded across the room and sat on the edge of his bed, the mattress creaking.

'I haven't been able to sleep...in prison I just...got so scared. I woke up once and that girl, she was leaning over me just staring, God, always staring. So I began to stay awake and now it feels like months since I last slept. I just thought...I don't know. You make me feel safe. I love feeling that way. Maybe I could sleep if I'm with you?' she proposed it like she was asking him for a sandwich.

'You want to sleep in here with me?' he knew he must sound stunned and bewildered because he was.

'Can friends do that?' she looked so nervous, so painfully sincere. 'I wouldn't ask but I'm _so tired_ Pace.'

'I don't understand,' he gave her a blank look.

'I normally sit and read until I fall asleep but my first day is tomorrow and I...I need sleep.'

'When do you normally fall asleep?'

'Four or five. I don't know. Late, or early I guess.'

'You must be exhausted,' he gazed at her. He wanted to say yes, to lift up the covers and welcome her in. He could wrap his arms around her and hold that perfect body against his, his hand splayed possessively across her taut stomach, his face pressed into the sweet smelling skin of her neck, her soft hair tickling his nose. It would be amazing, but he'd been pushing the friends thing hard. He didn't want her affection if it was an attempt to repay some debt she felt she owed him and so he'd reiterated the just friends thing that first night, put some physical parameters in place. It was hard to be on the constant roller coaster of emotions he was forced to ride all day everyday, loving her, wanting her, but knowing her physical affection was brought on by gratitude and a sense of wanting to repay. Need was something new.

'Please Pace,' she took a step into his room. 'I need sleep.'

'Ok, sure, yeah, ok,' he mumbled and as per his fantasy lifted the edge of his duvet. Within seconds she was sliding in next to him, curling up with her bum nestled against his crotch, her hand reaching for his and dragging it around her so she was essentially cradled in his arms. She sighed, and was apparently tired enough to fall asleep almost instantly. He'd never been one for spooning. It made him too hot and one of his arms always went dead, but he made an instant u turn on that because she felt wonderful pressed up against him, encased in his arms. Her soft, even breaths were reassuring and just precious, mainly because they were hers. He sniffed her hair which was indeed tickling his cheek and it smelt of the cocoanut shampoo he'd bought her at Christmas which now resided in his bathroom where she'd showered earlier. Closing his eyes he was surprised that he too fell asleep easily.

* * *

The nightmare hadn't been part of his fantasy. She began to toss and turn at around four, her hands thrashing, forcing him to back away as she muttered the word no. He put a hand on her shoulder and shook her,

'Joey,' he whispered her name. 'Jo, it's Pacey. Wake up,' he brushed the hair from her eyes and her lids fluttered open, her eyes scared. It took her a moment to readjust, but then she was clinging onto him and burying her face in his neck. 'Hey it's ok,' he reassured. 'Shhh, hun, it's ok.'

'I'm sorry,' she sniffed.

'Stop apologizing Jo. You're fine.'

'She said she was going to kill me in my sleep. I just...'

'I get it,' he muttered and he did. Prison had screwed her up because every place had its bullies. In high school Joey was the rough, tough one but in prison she was just a little girl because as bad as she was, she wasn't evil, or crazy, she'd just done the wrong thing and was being taught a very hard lesson. 'You're safe now.'

'I don't feel safe,' she murmured.

'But you are safe. I promise.'

'She said she'd find me,' Joey looked at him, her hair a wild mess, her eyes full of fear.

'She won't,' he reassured. 'She's still in prison.'

'I just want to sleep in my lovely room, I want to be normal for once, but I feel all messed up,' she lay back on his bed and he could see that her eyes were glassy.

'You are normal,' he insisted, 'let yourself get over prison. You'll get better I promise. It won't always feel like this.'

'Says you,' she full on pouted at him and he wanted to kiss her, the feeling so strong it nearly overpowered him as he edged nearer. 'This feels so fleeting, so fragile.'

'What does?' he frowned.

'Living here in this wonderful house, with its pretty rooms, with you. I feel like it's all going to come crashing down.'

'You'll always be welcome here,' he promised.

'I won't,' she shook her head, tangling her hair even more.

'I'm your friend Jo. Friends look out for each other. I won't let anything happen to you I promise. Even if I get fired in the process,' he gave her a sheepish smile and she smiled back.

'Ok. But don't get fired.'

'I won't. They can't fire me because the general public doesn't like the fact that we're friends.'

'Ok.'

'Now, you have work tomorrow and I have work tomorrow so do what you need to do to sleep.'

'Ok,' she edged across the bed and put her head on his chest, her legs entangling with his. 'You know I would be happy to you know...make you more comfortable,' she offered in a sultry voice her hand trailing down his chest and her finger tips just dipping under the top of his boxers. The insinuation, her hand, her voice made all blood travel south until he was straining against his boxers in record time. She could change track so quickly it baffled him - from scared and panicked to sultry and seductive. He put a hand on hers as she brushed a finger against the tip of his cock.

'Hhhh,' he mumbled but pulled her hand away. 'Just friends Jo,' he insisted.

'I know you're attracted to me, why not let me. I want to,' she raised herself up to look at him, her arm resting on his chest.

'Because friends don't do that.'

'And you think we should be _just_ friends,' she sighed.

'You need to stop. The touching, the kissing. Hugs are fine. Sleep like this if you need to but nothing more. I do find you attractive Joey. I find you more attractive than I have ever found anyone else, but we can't go there.'

'Because of your brother? Your job?'

'Just because,' he told her feeling lame but unable to put into words how it would feel to him to have her do those things with him because she felt she owed a debt, especially because he couldn't even see a debt, just how much he loved her. She might like him, she might think him attractive but she felt that sex somehow repayed her debt and that felt wrong. He wanted her to love him and if she didn't then he would have to be satisfied with friends, anything else was just wrong.

'That's not a reason.'

'I can't have that kind of relationship with you,' he told her, aware that he sounded harder than he intended. 'I just can't.'

'Ok,' she nodded. 'I understand. I'll uh...go back to my room.'

'If you want to sleep here then that's ok,' he offered but she shook her head.

'I should just deal with my fears. Maybe I could get some sleeping tablets. I'm sorry Pacey.'

'Stop apologizing please,' he begged.

'Ok,' she nodded and headed out of his room leaving him turned on, frustrated and lonely, and thinking of her, worrying about her - wishing she was still beside him.

* * *

'How did it go?' he asked as he headed into the house after his long shift. Alex was sat on his hip and he couldn't deny how happy it made him to know he was coming home to Joey.

'Errr,' she mumbled and held out her hands to Alex and proceeded to throw him in the air.

'Joey?' he gave her a look and she rolled her eyes,

'It was ok, I guess.' She pulled Alex's belly to her face and blew raspberries causing him to squeal in delight.

'You guess?' his voice squeaked and he felt embarrassed but she didn't seem to notice,

'This one old biddy, she reminded me of Mrs Ryan. She clearly disapproved of just _everything_ about me. When she saw my tattoo she outright tutted.'

'You have a tattoo?' Pacey's eyes widened. He wasn't into tattoos but suddenly the idea of one on Joey was hotter than anything.

'Yep,' she lifted her shirt and turned so he could see the small birds, several of them, all in different positions of flight and all in various bright rainbow colours, flying up her side. It was quite beautiful and not black as he'd have expected. He wanted to touch it, to kiss each bird. 'When I was stacking books on the top shelves my shirt rode up and she could see it. They treated me like I was f-ing stupid too. It's not rocket science you know. Alphabetize and shelve them. I kept telling them I got it but they insisted I didn't. I did though and I was great.'

'Well done Jo,' he gave her a huge smile.

'Thanks,' she smiled back and pushed herself up onto the kitchen sideboard. 'Whatcha cooking us for dinner?' she gave him a coy look, eyelashes fluttering and everything.

'You know I think you enjoyed today,' he leaned on the counter beside her watching Alex walk to his toy farm, before flicking his eyes back to Joey.

'I did not,' she responded indignantly.

'You're in a good mood for someone who hated it,' he pointed out.

'I get to come home here!' she gestured around her, 'to you and Alex. And I'm not holding up signs on a construction site which is what I thought I'd be doing.'

'And?' he gave her a brilliant smile.

'And I guess the library has a nice atmosphere. I chose some good books and I kinda liked teaching the old dears a lesson in stereotyping.'

'That's my girl,' he longed to kiss her and found his eyes absorbed in that gorgeous mouth. He couldn't understand how he could be so obsessed with kissing. He and his last girlfriend had barely kissed but now he dreamt about kissing Joey, and his mind was consumed with remembering all the different kisses they had shared, how her lips felt, how her tongue felt, every little detail. He could wile away several hours quite happily ensconced in memories and fantasies. She slipped off the counter,

'I'll take Alex outside to play if you like? If you're happy to cook?'

'I'm happy to cook,' he shrugged as he locked up his gun. 'What do you feel like?'

'That gooey rice thing,' she said immediately.

'Risotto?'

'Yeah. Please.'

'You wanna prep for your interview when Alex is in bed?'

'Definitely,' she nodded.

* * *

'How did it go?' Pacey asked as Joey slipped into his squad car a furious expression on her face.

'I got in,' she scowled.

'Don't sound too happy about it,' he mirrored her expression and she thumped his arm,

'Don't mock me,' she gave him evil eyes and he laughed,

'But you're so cute when you're all angry and stuff.'

'I'm not angry,' she rolled her eyes, 'I'm irritated.'

'Why?'

'Because they love my graffiti...'

'Which is good...because the cops don't love it,' he rolled his eyes and she begrudgingly smiled,

'Stop being a doufuss,' she ordered.

'Tell me why you're being Ms. Moody?'

'Because they didn't love my sketches. They said I need a better portfolio of work. They were _surprised_ and _concerned_ I'd only ever worked in pencil and spray can.'

'That's a problem we can fix, right?'

'Art supplies are expensive,' she explained as if he were a simpleton.

'So build up bit by bit,' he spoke back the same way.

'You're annoying today,' she prodded him in the chest.

'You're annoying everyday,' he prodded her arm.

'You'll pay for that,' she narrowed her eyes but was smiling as she went for his waist with pinched fingers,

'Uncle, uncle,' he yelped but instead of withdrawing she pressed her head to his chest, turning her head and pressing a kiss there 'Jo...'

'I know, I know, friends,' she mumbled.

'I was going to say I know this awesome art store. We have a few hours before we need to collect Alex. Let's go. It's only half an hour from here.'

'And I have no money,' she sat up in her seat and frowned again.

'No scowling in the squad car, new rule,' he told her and boinked her nose. 'You are gonna be paid tomorrow. We'll pick up a few oil pastels and some charcoal.'

'Did you boink my nose?' she asked with a dropped jaw.

'Yes,' he grinned. 'Now buckle up before I write you a ticket and your precious art supply cash goes to the Capeside Police Department.'

* * *

'Whatcha doing?' Pacey asked a couple of days later as he built towers with Alex in the yard. He was working the late shift and had enjoyed spending the morning with both Joey and Alex, relaxing over breakfast and enjoying the Spring sunshine. He'd laid a rug in the grass under a tree and he and Alex were playing on it together. Joey was sat in a garden chair at the table with her new sketchbook and charcoals.

'Drawing you,' she smirked at his expression.

'Me? Why?'

'They said I needed to practice certain basics like the human form, still life, all of that and in different mediums too. Today is you in charcoal,' she bit her lip with her teeth as she concentrated. Abandoning tower building he crawled over to her chair to look at the profile of his face she had drawn. It was technically brilliant. In his opinion anyway. He could see where she'd allowed her personality and style to shine through, as patterns began to weave their way into the lines.

'That's me in charcoal,' he said impressed. She smiled and rubbed her index finger down his nose and then gestured to him,

'You in charcoal!'

'Haha,' he rolled his eyes and rubbed at his nose. 'I like the patterns in my hair, and here...' he gestured to his neck, 'they're very you.'

'I can copy but I get bored. It's therapeutic, especially copying people, you know getting their faces and their expressions just right, but it always needs to say more for me.'

'I wish I could draw,' he lamented and she laughed,

'Everyone can draw.'

'Well I wish I could draw well,' he clarified.

'Here try,' she pulled out a sheet and put it on the garden table and handed him a piece of charcoal. 'Star simple, a flower petal or a blade of grass. Work out.'

'Sure,' he set to work only to feel Alex sidle up to him.

'Pace up,' he held out his hands.

'I'm drawing bud,' he tapped the kids nose.

'Pace up,' Alex began to whine so Pacey pulled him onto his knee and handed him a piece of charcoal. While he drew the petal Joey had put in front of him Alex scribbled all over the top. It was a wonderful morning.

* * *

Pacey kissed Alex on the forehead and laid him in his crib.

'Sleep tight little guy,' he patted his stomach and smiled. Despite being sleepy Alex smiled back at him. Pacey couldn't deny he loved the kid. Maybe it was caring for this helpless being, or maybe he was just a really sweet kid, but he would have walked to the ends of the earth for him. Pacey cast a glance at his watch. It was seven thirty, which meant Joey would be home soon. Her shift at the library was a late one. The library closed at seven on a Wednesday and after that he found himself clock watching until she walked through the door.

He had been living with Joey for three weeks. She would be starting at college in a couple of days but until then she was working part time at the library and checking in with her parole officer. She told him she worked hard but mostly in silence, the other more stereotypical staff giving her a distinct cold shoulders. He tried to convince her she was imagining it, but it was probably true.

She spent most of her free time creating art on the old packing boxes from his move, her new favourite base for experimenting with oil paints. He loved to watch her in the garden entirely absorbed as she worked on landscapes. When Alex was home from daycare she spent all her time playing with him, tireless in a way he feared he wasn't. She was good with the baby. Useless with food, preferring to feed him left overs from whatever he'd cooked, but brilliant with the baby. The social worker had visited, wanting to assess the new living situation but had deemed Joey acceptable with the baby and thus able to spend unsupervised time with him. She had been so angry at all that implied but he had calmed her down, helped her see the bigger picture.

Closing Alex's door Pacey headed downstairs and pulled out a frying pan, a chopping board and his sharp knife. He headed to the fridge for vegetables and chicken. His head was still in there as he heard the door open,

'Hey Jo,' he couldn't stop his smile at the sight of her. She looked incredibly hot. He wasn't afraid of his attraction to her anymore. She was wearing black skinny jeans, her black boots over the top and some top thing with a plunging neck line. Her hair was up in a bun and she had on a tonne of makeup. She looked fierce and totally unlike a librarian.

'I missed Alex?' she frowned and he nodded,

'Sorry,' he stood, desperate to touch her. He continued to put clear distance between them since her first day home, desperately trying to cling onto the friends.

'Oh it's ok,' she stared at him, her eyes tracking over him from head to toe. He was still in his uniform after working the early shift.

'Work ok?' he asked as he began to chop an onion.

'It was ok...before you go too far I'm going out...' she watched him closely so she probably saw him falter. She hadn't been out since she'd been home, well no where other than the shop or work, or for a walk with him and Alex.

'Oh,' it felt like his heart was beating so hard it might stall. 'Where?'

'This guy...he asked me out for a drink...'

'But...'

'I told him we could go for a coke at Munchies,' she said before he raised her lack of legality. 'I mean...it's ok if I go out?'

'I told you you're an adult,' he shrugged, staring at the vegetables he was chopping and not at her, his voice coming out thick as he fought back the feeling of utter, gut wrenching disappointment and pain. He was surprised at how much it hurt. But then he'd thought she felt something. She'd look at him a lot, and there were moments when he swore she wanted to be closer than they were, physically and emotionally. She was as careful as he was though, and she didn't cuddle up to him as she had done when she'd stayed with him in his apartment. If he was on the couch she chose the chair. It was as simple as that.

'You don't mind?' she asked and he could feel her eyes on him even if he couldn't look up.

'Sure, no,' he shook his head thinking that he minded a great deal. 'Who is this guy?'

'I don't know. He came into the library to use the Internet. He was staring at me and I told him to quit it. We got talking and he asked me out. I guess I thought why not?' She shrugged. Why not? God because it would kill him to see her with another guy, to think of her out getting a coke, the guys hand on her thigh. 'You ok?' she asked. 'You look kinda sick.'

'I'm fine,' he lied, and pushed the chopping board away. 'I uh...need the bathroom. Have fun,' he finished lamely and headed out of the kitchen.

'Don't wait up for me,' she called after him. She may as well have kicked him. He made it to the bathroom, slamming the door behind him and then dropping to the floor.

'Fuck, goddamned, fuck,' he swore trying to still his breathing, all the while waiting for that feeling of something being dreadfully wrong to dissipate. Of course it wasn't going to go because she was going out with some absolute dick that happened to wonder into the library to uselthe Internet, and of course saw her and wanted her. And she said yes. All the tentative hope he'd felt evaporated into a heap of ashes that were still smouldering with his pain and crushed fantasies. It hurt, the unrequited love thing hurt a great deal. More than he could have imagined which he figured meant that he was more in love than he ever had been.


	11. Chapter 11

**Thanks for all the feedback. It's so great to get it! Please keep it up because, as always, when I near the end of a fic I find it harder to write it. Knowing people are waiting on the next chapter definitely spurns me on!**

 **Hope this chapter works for you! Pacey is drunk and so the conversation jumps around a little.**

 **Tab xx**

 **Chapter Eleven**

Pacey drained his seventh whiskey and glanced at the clock. Who was he kidding, he was staring at the goddamned clock, willing time to pass so she would come home, but also wishing it would stop so it was still early when she came in, hopefully saying the guy was an ass. Dinner still lay half prepared in the kitchen, abandoned after Joey's departure. He knew it wasn't a mature response, but getting hammered seemed like the only course of action. He wasn't worried about Alex - the kid was a great sleeper and wouldn't wake up until morning. It was himself he was worried about.

He knew he was totally out of line. How many times had he reiterated to the girl that they were "just friends?" He'd said that line so many times and all because he wanted her to love him back. He didn't _want_ to be just friends. He didn't give a flying fuck if Doug fired him over it, he just wanted her. Of course it wasn't a simple situation. He wanted her to stop feeling like she owed him something and to definitely not use sex as a form of payment. Every time he'd reiterated the just friends thing was when he feared she was using sex as a means to lessen her guilt or as a way to thank him such as those kisses. But he had began to hope. This tentative, burgeoning hope that perhaps she might feel for him, that she might want him. It was little things that were nothing to do with sex. The way she'd smile at him, or joke around so easily, laughing much more frequently as more time passed since her incarceration. Her face always brightened when she saw him, she looked so pleased that he was there. The smudging of charcoal on his nose, the talking they did in the evenings, all of it adding together to make him hope she was falling for him, that even though they were "just friends" it was actually a lot more than _just_ friends.

It was only ten and he was so full of angst, his leg was tapping up and down. If it wasn't his own damn leg it would have irritated the fuck out of him. She knew he normally went to bed at around ten thirty and she'd said not to wake up. That meant she might be out until midnight. He winced at the awful thoughts of what she might be doing with the stupid ass of a guy, the image of this shadowed guy between her legs especially repulsive but unfortunately etched into his brain. He poured himself his eighth whisky. He didn't even like whisky but his dad had given him a bottle every year at Christmas since he turned twenty one and so he had whisky lying around when hard liquor was called for. And if the feeling in his stomach was anything to go by, then hard liquor was definitely necessary.

As he pushed the bottle back on the table he heard the door open and shut. He could scarcely bear to look in the direction of the hall, not that it mattered because she came into the living room, faltering at the sight of him. Apparently she could tell he was drunk because she took a step back, in all likelihood weary of someone in his state,

'I wouldn't hurt ya Jo,' he said, but the words came out strangled and bitter. 'Never.' He did wonder who had.

'Are you...uh...ok?' she sunk to the floor where she was, clearly not willing to come closer.

'Just fine and dandy,' he tilted the glass in her direction and then downed the shot, welcoming the burn.

'You don't...uh...seem ok?' she looked gorgeous, her hair a mass of brown waves, her eyes large. The short skirt she wore with the dark pantyhose, some sort of pattern on them, emphasizing her long legs. She was wearing a black halter neck top which revealed her sexy back to him and the bastard she went out with. He felt a searing jealousy, hot and angry and ripping him open inside.

'Just here, wallowing in self pity,' he muttered pushing the glass onto the coffee table.

'Why?' she frowned at him and he gave a hollow laugh,

'Just because,' he told her grandly pouring yet another drink. 'Just because.'

'Because what?'

'Don't push it Jo, trust me, you don't want to push it,' he stared at her seriously.

'I've done something wrong?' she paled, 'I've done something wrong and I don't even know what. Do you want me to leave?' she sounded so heartbroken, utterly devastated.

'Fuck no,' he stumbled to his feet, moving across the room. She didn't move, though she didn't look best pleased, as he dropped to the floor beside her, taking her hand and threading his fingers through hers, his head spinning and everything in him desperate to be close to her. 'This is your home Jo,' he pressed a kiss to the top of her head.

'But I did do something wrong?' she asked, though it sounded more like a statement. 'Is this because I went out?' she narrowed her eyes.

'I just...gotta get over it, that's all,' he sighed feeling drunk and old, and terribly sad.

'Over what?' she asked and he wondered how she could be so oblivious.

'Over you. You know. So I don't have to drown myself in whiskey every time a guy takes you out for a coke. So I don't feel like I'm dying every second you're gone and I know you're with him, whoever he might be.'

'Him?'

'Anyone that's not me,' he rubbed a hand over his face.

'You need to get over me?' she asked with a sudden clarity and he nodded drunkenly because she seemed to get it.

'Yes, because this is horrible. Truly horrible,' he pressed another sloppy kiss to her head,

'What's horrible?' she pursed her brow and he thought he might die because she looked so adorable.

'You know, feeling about you like I do and not being with you,' he explained waving their joined hands around in a vain attempt to emphasize his words. 'Pretending it's ok when you go out with dicks you meet at the library. And it is ok, because I want you happy. More than I want you with me, I want you happy, but it feels the opposite of ok when you're out with them.'

'But I'm happiest with you,' she turned and he shook his head,

'You need to be happy,' he repeated drunkenly.

'And _I_ said I'm happiest with _you_. I just thought...God...' she looked down, her face crumpled up in confusion.

'What?'

'You keep telling me you just want to be just friends. And I get it. I might be young but I do understand the difference between liking someone and just being attracted. I figured you were just attracted to me.'

'God I'm attracted to you,' he dropped her hand and cupped her face, 'all of you. I just adore you and I want so much more than just friends.'

'You don't mean that. I mean you can't. You're drunk,' she pushed his hand away. 'You've said just friends so many times...'

'I'm drunk but I still love you,' he stated glumly.

'Love?' Her head snapped in his direction, 'you don't love me.'

'Oh but I do. I love you so much you are literally all I can think about. One way or another you're in my head every second of every day.'

'You're drunk,' she accused again in a soft voice and he let out a wry chuckle,

'Yes, I am.'

'And whatever you think you feel, you don't think we should be together.'

'How I feel doesn't matter but love is how I feel and us being together is exactly what I want. But you know if you don't feel how I feel then I don't think we should be together. So you see it's how you feel that matters,' he turned and stared at her, their faces only inches apart.

'When I was out tonight all I could think about was you. I wished you'd asked me not to go. I told myself you didn't care because you told me to have fun. I wanted you to ask me to stay.'

'Stay,' he pleaded, 'please.' She was looking at him, her eyes locked with his, but instead of answering she patted his thigh,

'You should go to bed,' she whispered.

'Don't settle Jo. Don't ever settle. You deserve so much,' he knew he was rambling but he couldn't seem to stop. 'I just...really want you happy and I keep wishing that it would be me, that I could make you happy but I know you've got to be happy on your own steam and I...'

'Pacey shut up,' she held his face in her palms and he quaked to a halt,

'I'm doing my drunken rambling thing I know, but I love you and you're so pretty and I just can't stand the thought of you with some other stupid ass dude. God Jo, did he touch you? Did he kiss you?'

'Pace, shhh,' she gave him a brilliant smile. 'Come to bed,' she let go of his face and he felt her cool hand slip into his again,

'I even love the feel of your hand,' he told her solemnly. 'It's so soft.'

'And paint splattered,' she teased.

'So perfect.'

'Everything about me is far from perfect,' she gave him a stern look, 'as you well know.'

'You're perfect to me,' he insisted.

'You're too drunk to even listen to me,' she told him gently.

'But I love listening to you! You're so funny, so sweet, so quick witted,' he pulled her hand to his mouth and kissed her knuckles.

'But you're not hearing me,' she told him.

'Say it again, I'm listening I promise,' he saluted her.

'You say you want me to be happy and I'm telling you I'm happiest with you. I didn't want to go out with that guy tonight. I hoped you'd ask me to stay. Pace, why do you keep insisting we're just friends?'

'I make you happy?' he smiled. 'You make me happy.'

'Pacey,' she sighed.

'I wanted you to stay but I had no right to ask that of you.'

'You can ask anything of me. I owe you so much,' she edged closer.

' _That's_ the problem,' he slumped back against the wall feeling defeated.

'Huh?' she looked so confused.

'I don't want...you know...sex stuff...kissing...because you feel like you owe me. I want it because you feel about me like I feel about you.'

'Is that what you think? Really? That those kisses, me wanting to touch you - that it was about repaying you?'

'You said you'd use blow jobs to get what you need. You kept saying you owed me and then you'd kiss me when I did something nice...'

'I kissed you when you did something nice because it made me adore you,' she stared at him. 'So I used sex to get what I needed a couple of times, I knew that wasn't what it was between us. I wanted to thank you, to express what you mean to me. I knew you found me attractive, well I find you attractive too. When you did something so unbearably sweet or kind I wanted you, I wanted to demonstrate how warm and safe it made me feel. How loved it made me feel. I offered to touch you that night in your room when I had the nightmare because you made me feel safe. Not because I owed you but because you made me feel special and loved and because in that moment I adored you an inordinate amount. I can't believe you think I would try and repay all you've done with sex. That you'd think sex would mean nothing between us...'

'Joey,' he could hear her anger through the drunken blurriness.

'Aw fuck,' she stood up, 'I look like a slut, I grow up rough and so you think I can't have feelings and sex? You don't know everything about me you know. I'm not a prostitute. There's no set amount I owe that I'm trying to pay off with sexual acts with such and such amount of dollars...'

'Joey I never meant, or thought...'

'I'm a virgin for fucks sake. I've used guys before, I have and I'm not ashamed of it if it was needed, but I'd never use you. At first I took what I could get but when I realized what you were really like, what I thought you were like...I could never have. I can't believe you...'

'Jo,' he leaned towards her, 'I got it wrong, I'm sorry. I never thought it was something awful, I just thought...'

'You thought I was kissing as repayment,' she half yelled and then burst into tears, 'and God you were right. I remember those moments. I'd talk about what I owe you and then I'd touch you, or try too. You said you wanted me to kiss you because I wanted to. You said it to me. And you see I did think of it as repayment at first, maybe even expected but that changed, I want to kiss you because I adore you Pacey. I wanted to touch you so much. I love it when we lie close together. It feels so, so good. Of course you wouldn't know it changed, or that it was both. Maybe I'm an awful person. I mean I say I'm not a hooker but isn't that what they do?'

'Joey,' he beseeched and pulled her onto his lap, wrapping her in his arms. 'All I really care about is that you wanted me. It's not your fault that you were put in awful situations, I don't even think it's bad that you wanted to repay me that way, only if you wanted to do it. I just wanted us to be equal. I want you. I love you and I want an equal relationship with y and so I didn't want it to be about that. I wanted it to be about love and about wanting someone so much you can't see straight. 'Cause I can't see straight Jo.'

'That's because you're drunk,' she pressed her face into his warm neck.

'I dream about you. I spend every second we're apart thinking about you and then every second we're together wanting to touch you, to make you laugh, to make you happy.'

'Then I can't see straight either,' she admitted cautiously.

'You can't?'

'Pace, I don't know love beyond Alex. He's a baby and he's so easy to love but I don't know how to love someone.'

'Just do what you feel, and you'll be great. It'll come or it won't,' he clung onto her.

'Do as I feel?' she turned, and held her lips against his, 'ok,' she began to kiss him and his whole body began to thrum because it felt divine and it was Joey, Joey kissing him and doing so because she wanted too. He became greedy and his hands began to grab for her, wanting to hold her in place and get her closer all at once, but then she was pulling back, away from him.

'Naaaah,' he complained, 'come 'ere,' he reached for her but she gave a cautious shrug,

'You're drunk Pace. You should go to bed.'

'With you?' he asked optimistically and she laughed,

'No,' she shook her head.

'Please,' he caught her hand and tugged her back to him, his arms encircling her and his lips pressing wet kisses to her neck.

'Pace,' she protested half heartedly and turned so she could kiss him hard on the mouth, before squirming her way from his grasp and standing. 'You're too drunk.'

'No, really I'm not,' he shook his head.

'You are,' she held out a hand and pulled him to his feet. 'Don't wake the baby,' she hissed as she led him up the stairs.

'I won't,' he agreed way too loudly.

'Look, go pee and brush your teeth,' she instructed and he saluted her again. 'Then go to bed.'

'With you?' he asked, just as optimistically as the first time.

'Alone Pace.'

'Boo,' he pouted.

'I'll see you in the morning,' she told him and she looked all coy and cute and so he gathered her into his arms and kissed him, loving the way she gripped his tshirt. Then she slipped from his grasp and was gone.


	12. Chapter 12

**Thanks for the reviews guys - please keep the feedback coming - it helps so much and gives me confidence which I think leads to better writing;-) I know it must be tough to review sometimes, especially if you do so regularly (thank you thank you) but even a word, or something constructive. If you felt something was missing or were glad something was included. Thank you!**

 **Chapter Twelve**

'Ugh,' Pacey covered his ears to drown out Alex's crying, the noise sending sharp shooting pains from his temple to the back of his head. It was his own fault, he knew that, but why oh why did babies have to wake up so early? He knew six thirty wasn't bad for a kid Alex's age, and he was normally an early riser himself. Usually he'd put Alex in his jogging stroller and they would go out for a run. Today he felt like he'd been trampled by a herd of cows in his sleep. He had drunk his own body weight in whiskey the night before so he deserved the aching head and the aversion to bright light, but it didn't make it any easier when his alarm had no off button. Except this morning it blissfully did. The crying stopped and he closed his eyes and dozed again.

* * *

'Ok sleepy head, time to get up. I have work,' her voice was soft and gentle. He cranked open and eye and saw her standing at the end of the bed, a vision in black. She had decided to team a mid thigh length black dress with fishnet pantyhose and her boots, a baggy knee length black cardigan finishing the outfit perfectly. She looked awesome, but the old dears at the library would all look like they'd had face lifts, such would be the extent of the shock and horror.

'You look pretty,' he mumbled and she rolled her eyes, re-hoisting Alex back on her hip as he began to reach for Pacey, shouting his name repeatedly.

'I made you coffee and toast, because, well that's about all I can make,' she gestured to his bedside table, 'There's ibuprofen on the plate.'

'Joey,' he pushed himself to sitting becoming aware that he was just in boxers. Keeping the covers around his waist he tried again, 'I can give Al a cuddle.'

'Sure,' she handed the baby over who pressed a kiss to Pacey's cheek and then began to burrow in the covers.

'We should talk,' he reached for her hand relieved when she let him take it.

'After work,' she told him. 'I have to go.'

'But I'm on the late shift,' his face fell.

'Station or patrol?'

'Station.'

'Oh,' she shrugged.

'Would you, uh, maybe come and see me?'

'You want me to come see you at work?' she asked clearly surprised and rather obviously shy and nervous at the prospect.

'Yes, please, do,' he didn't manage to hide his enthusiasm very well. 'Kerry is picking up Al and will do him dinner. As long as you're still ok to be home to put him to bed we're good.'

'I finish at five so I could come over then. Would you like me to bring some dinner for you? I could pick up something?'

'Really?' it sounded like the best idea ever.

'Really, if you're sure you want me walking into the station?'

'I think we established, rather drunkenly, last night that I want _you_ in general,' he stated because he wanted her to know he remembered. And while he might regret being completely hammered, he actually didn't regret telling her.

'We did,' she smiled but he squeaked as Alex bit his big toe,

'Woah Alex my man. No nibbling my toes boy. Did your aunty not feed you?' he pulled the toddler from under the covers tickling him and making him squeal. 'You can't nibble toes boyo, you don't know where they've been.'

'Eat Pace,' Alex grinned widely.

'I love you kiddo but no eating Pacey,' Pacey told Alex with mock sternness.

'Hug Pace,' Alex stated and threw himself at Pacey.

'Pacey's gotta get up,' Pacey eyed the headache pills on the plate. 'Would you like a piece of my toast?' he waggled the toast in front of Alex who reached for it. 'What do you say?'

'Peas,' Alex took the toast. 'Tank you.' He could tell the crumbs were going to be awful, as Alex played with the toast as much as eating it.

'Good boy,' Pacey said as the baby snuggled up against him.

'You're so good with him,' Joey said faintly as she sat on the edge of the bed. 'Do you really...love him?'

'Yes,' Pacey shrugged, 'don't know when it happened but I'd die for this kid.'

'What happens if Bodie or Bessie come back?'

'Aw crap I don't know,' he frowned, his head hurting from the hangover and the thought. 'I guess they assess them and if they're fit to have him they can have him, I don't honestly know. I'd hate it, you know to lose him, but I don't know if I could fight to keep the kid from his parents.'

'And if they don't come back?'

'I guess I adopt him.'

'You'd do that?' she asked and he nodded,

'It's like he's my son. Unexpected, but wonderful. It's hard sometimes but it's worth it for moments like right now.'

'He loves you,' Joey stated and Pacey smiled brightly,

'Yeah,' he ruffled the baby's curls.

'And you love me?' The look she gave him out of narrowed eyes spoke of her amusement, both at his drunken confession and his sudden shyness. He felt his cheeks burn and inevitably turn red,

'Hmm, yeah,' he mumbled, staring at his sheets.

'I'll see you later Pace,' she laughed and headed out of his room with a look over her shoulder that had him feeling a jumbled up mess of emotions.

* * *

Pacey's eyes kept flitting to the entryway to the station but of course he was out the back when she actually turned up. Drue, working at the front shook his head as he came out back to tell Pacey that someone was there to see him,

'Some kid is here to see you Witter. Says she's not here to confess to a crime but she looks like trouble. She's total jail bait man so watch yourself.'

'Watch yourself Valentine,' Pacey felt his hackles rise.

'Woah, what's your problem man?' he chuckled dismissively as he followed Pacey back out front. Joey was leaning against the wall, scowl in place, a scowl that deepened as she glared at Drue. However, when she flicked her attention to Pacey she smiled and he couldn't help the smile that lit up his own face. 'Deputy Witter,' Drue gestured to Pacey. 'Deputy Witter, Angry Girl,' he gestured to Joey. 'She refused to give me her name.'

'Hey Jo,' Pacey took a step in her direction.

'Hey Pace,' she took a step towards him. 'I brought you dinner. Can you take a break?'

'Sure I can,' he tentatively reached out and took her hand, threading his fingers through hers. 'Tell the Chief I'm on break,' he said to Drue who was staring at them with a gaping jaw, his eyes flitting between Joey's legs, her face and their joined hands.

'Tell me yourself Pace,' Doug had appeared out of nowhere - it was an excellent skill his brother had and it certainly made him a great chief of police, though it had been a blight on the success of Pacey's youthful indiscretions.

'I'm gonna take my break,' Pacey said to annoy his brother, noticing Joey's defiant expression.

'Hello Ms. Potter,' Doug turned to Joey. Pacey knew it was because of his brothers job but he couldn't help but wish his brother sounded a little less like a parole officer. 'How are you doing?'

'Since my release from prison you mean?' she asked with an arched brow and Drue spat out the sip of coffee he'd just taken, evidence of his surprise.

'Yes,' Doug was blunt.

'I check in with my parole office. Do I need to check in with you too?'

'No. I'm asking as your roommates brother not as the Chief of Police.'

'Then I'm good.'

'Deputy McPhee mentioned that he saw you out at Munchies last night with a man he didn't recognize?' Doug was clearly being the Chief of Police despite what he'd said and was suspicious.

'The guy asked me out for a drink and I went - that's not a crime now, right?'

'Not a crime no,' Doug was attempting to keep his eyes on Joey, Pacey could tell that, but they dropped for a moment to where his hand clasped Joey's, and his forehead creased with a frown.

'Anything else?' she practically snarled.

'I wouldn't hang around with guys like that,' Doug told her, or rather warned her. 'You need to learn who to accept dates with.'

'I have thanks,' she rolled her eyes, 'yeah he was a jerk which I told him. In fact he was a total jackass.'

'McPhee mentioned a minor altercation?'

'Yeah you could call it that,' Joey shrugged entirely dismissive. 'The guy expected me to have sex with him and when I told him to fuck off he pushed the issue, so I kneed him in the balls and punched him. Apparently _nobody_ saw it,' she shrugged but Pacey saw the smug look on her face. He didn't doubt that Jack saw the entire incident and was rather impressed with her ability to handle it, and so had denied witnessing it. He probably gave the guy a warning for pushing it.

'Well I'm just glad you're safe. I think we can consider your actions self-defence.'

'Damn straight you can,' Joey gave him a withering look.

'You never told me about that?' Pacey frowned at her, squeezing her hand.

'You were drunk,' she squeezed back. 'You had other things on your mind and weren't really in a position to hear about guys who " _know what girls like me_ " are like.'

'Can we go?' Pacey asked without looking at his brother or the staring Drue Valentine.

'Sure,' Doug said and Pacey tugged her outside the station where they sat in the waning spring sunshine on a bench. With slight trepidation Pacey put his arm around Joey and pressed a kiss to her hair.

'You said you love me last night,' she looked up at him, her eyes extremely pretty under her fluttering lashes. 'You know that people are going to treat me like that for a long time? And I mean the guy last night, your brother and the other cop in there?'

'I'm not looking for you to be anyone but yourself. Of course the illegal stuff might be a problem but you're not doing that anymore,' he couldn't help the small smile.

'No I'm not,' she agreed, 'but you don't wish I dressed differently? That people saw me as sweet and not trouble?'

'I don't care how other people see you so long as you're happy. I'll say it again Jo, this time sober _and_ in my uniform - I love you.'

'I don't think anyone has ever said that to me before,' she buried her face into his chest. 'Maybe my mom, but no one that wasn't supposed to love me.'

'I've never said it and meant it quite as much.'

'But you've been in love before?' she looked up at him.

'I've thought I was in love before, sure. I've had a couple of serious girlfriends.'

'What were they like?' she asked.

'Blond, and frothy.'

'Frothy?' she giggled in surprise.

'You know perky and upbeat.'

'So my opposite?' her prow pursed.

'Pretty much yeah,' he laughed but then pressed a kiss to her forehead, 'that's probably why I love you so much - because I like you a lot more.'

'That's a weird way to put it.'

'Maybe,' he agreed. 'A lot of the girls I've had relationships with...they've been ok, but I haven't connected like I connect with you.'

'Despite our age gap and our opposite... _lifestyles?'_

'Yes _._ I can talk to you about anything. I like hearing your opinions too. I feel like we compliment each other.'

'Good cop, bad crim you mean?' she had her mouth pursed in amusement but he shook his head,

'I don't think of you as a bad person at all. You're a little bit of trouble, sure, but that's who you are. I love how you handled my brother and that jerk last night even if I wish you hadn't needed to.'

'People like me are used to being treated like that,' she admitted.

'Jo, I know we're friends...'

'I love being friends,' she agreed.

'Do you want to stay as just friends?' his heart picked up pace.

'Do you?'

'No,' he shook his head, 'not at all.'

'So what do you want?'

'I want to be with you. The question is what do you want? You're young and you've been through a lot. Whatever you feel, well you might not want something like that with someone like me.'

'You think I might not want to be with a guy who I not only find wildly attractive, but is also without doubt the greatest guy I've ever met? A guy who looks after me and looks out for me, and my baby nephew, who does the sweetest things without any expectation of anything in return! You know I'm worried you're not as smart as I thought,' she turned her whole body towards his, 'yes I want to be with you Pacey.'

'And not because...' he couldn't let himself believe it, not yet,

'No, not because I think I owe you, or each kiss will in some way pay off debt. Every time we do something sexual I won't be knocking off dollar signs in my head, you need to forget all that. Sometimes when you do lovely things it makes me want to kiss you because it makes me feel all warm inside, like this surge of...well you know...'

'A surge of what?' he frowned because he didn't know. He hoped he knew but he did want her to say it.

'Love, silly,' she flushed a delightful pink and the word silly was so nicely said and such a juxtaposition with her normally serious self that he felt a surge of love for her and so he kissed her, softly, tenderly, like she was the most precious thing in the entire world, his tongue tangling with her, his hands threading into her thick hair. He wasn't even embarrassed by the small moan of contentment, of utter relief to be kissing her without any fear or concern.

'Shouldn't you be arresting her rather than making out?' some punk clearly thought he was extremely funny.

'Fucking asshole,' Pacey glowered but Joey merely ran her hands through his hair and pressed a simple kiss to his lips,

'I don't care what people say,' she said and kissed him again. 'They're gonna say worse.'

'It should bother you. That they judge you like they do,' he stared at her beautiful face, utterly smitten. She laughed,

'They don't judge me wrongly Pace, I've caused a lot of trouble. I've tried to cause trouble at times and I have been arrested. I've been to prison. You need to accept certain people won't like seeing a cop with someone like me.'

'I don't care about them so long as you don't.'

'I wish people could accept that you can get into a whole heap of trouble and not be a horrible person. I hate the guys that automatically think I put it about, that I'll have sex with them just because they tell me I'm pretty.'

'What about if I tell you you're pretty?' he teased and she flushed,

'I think that's more of a sixth date kinda question,' she laughed, 'I wasn't lying when I said I'd never had sex.'

'So I should take you out on a date,' he found it endearing that she was still innocent in that way. It wouldn't have bothered him if she'd slept with guys. It wouldn't have surprised him even, he had made assumptions much like others did. And he knew she'd been in sexual situations with guys she didn't always particularly like even. But somehow the fact that she hadn't slept with a guy made him feel protective, and kind of proud that she didn't do things that others had probably pressured her to do.

'Hmmm yeah, you should,' she agreed.

'Ok, tomorrow night. I'll ask Jack to babysit.'

'Jack?' she asked.

'Deputy McPhee. My brothers boyfriend.'

'You don't think he'll disapprove?'

'Nah. Jack's my best friend. He's awesome.'

'Ok,' she kissed him again, her soft lips pressed to his and he forgot about eating dinner, about who might see them, about returning to work and thrilled at the fact that she liked him and that she wanted him.

'Pace,' Jack's voice broke into the kiss, 'you better head back to work,' he sounded wildly amused. 'I'm Jack,' he stuck out his hand and Joey shook it,

'Nice to meet you without the bars between us,' Joey shook his hand and Jack laughed.

'You know Pacey here is utterly smitten with you,' Jack teased and Pacey shot out a fist to punch him lightly in the thigh.

'So he's trying to convince me,' Joey gave him a soft look.

'Don't suppose you want to babysit tomorrow night so I can take Jo out?' Pacey asked and Jack nodded,

'Sure. I'll get Doug to come over after his shift.'

'Great, thanks man.'

'Now quit kissing in front of the station before I have to give you a ticket for lewd behaviour.'

'That was hardly...' Pacey began to protest but Jack just shook is head and tutted, 'sure ok,' he conceded turning his attention bac to Joey, 'I'll see _you_ in the morning I guess,' he kissed Joey quickly and then once more. 'Thanks for dinner.'

'See you tomorrow,' she ran a hand through his hair and so he kissed her again,

'This is going to be a problem,' he murmured, his arms around her.

'What is?'

'It's very, very hard to stop kissing you.'

'Hmm,' she allowed her mouth to connect with his.

'Pace, dude,' Jack whacked him softly round the head. 'You'll see her tomorrow,' Jack chastised but when Pacey looked at his friend, he saw that he was grinning like an idiot.

'You're not much like The Chief are you Jack?' Joey mused, her hand messing with the hair at the nape of Pacey's neck.

'You're not much like Pace,' Jack smirked.

'True,' she chuckled.

'Opposites attract right?' Jack arched his brows, 'don't be to hard on the chief Joey. He loves his little brother and his heart is good.'

'He just thinks I'm trouble,' Joey stated.

'You have been a little bit of trouble, right?' Jack asked and it was so non threatening and non accusatory that Joey pursed her lips and nodded,

'Sure I can take that.'

'I mean I saw you wallop that guy yesterday,' Jack admitted and Joey grinned at him, there was no other word for it.

'You saw why I did it?'

'I was about to intervene at the exact moment he decided to up the ante and shove his hand up your skirt. I could tell he was angry when he began to force you into the ally. I had my gun drawn you know,' Jack offered, 'but you took care of him nicely.'

'He had his hand up your skirt?' Pacey glowered, feeling a primal protectiveness that he'd never felt before.

'I don't know how but guys can tell when you've had a tough upbringing. They can tell when you don't have backup, you know. They can even tell when you've been to prison and they think they can take advantage. They think you're that kind of girl.'

'Well you have back up now,' Pacey told her and she sighed,

'But I might always be that kind of girl. I don't think it'd make any difference what I wore, guys can tell. Well the wrong sort of guy can.'

'Then it's good you can handle yourself,' he acknowledged, leaning in to kiss her again.

'You better come back to work Pace,' Jack told him. 'But it was nice to chat Joey. We should do something all together - a double date.'

'Let me take the girl on a non double date first,' Pacey rolled his eyes.

'Ok, sure, sure,' Jack grinned impishly and headed back into the station calling from the door, 'thirty seconds Pace.'

'I better go,' he turned and somehow found his mouth connected with hers,

'God we need a whole day with no interruptions so we can kiss,' she told him and he smiled into the kiss.

'That will never happen, not with Alex always so keen to hang out with us,' he chuckled.

'Fine, a whole night in bed,' she amended and his body lurched pleasantly at the idea.

'I'm meant to be saying goodbye, you can't say things like that,' he groaned into her shoulder, his lips finding purchase on soft skin.

'Go to work, we can kiss tomorrow,' she teased.

'Or you can sleep in my room and when I get home at two in the morning I can cuddle you all night long. Because I love you.'

'Well, you'll just have to wait and see where I am,' she looked all coy and shy.

'No pressure Jo,' he hastened to reassure her.

'The last thing I ever feel from you is pressure, I know there's none,' she smiled and then stood from the bench. 'Bye Pace.'

'Bye Jo,' he headed up the steps to the station front doors but watched her walk away until she was out of sight before pushing into the entry. Doug, Jack and Drue all looked up and stared at him.

'Oh man, you're in so much trouble,' Drue clearly thought it all was extremely funny.

'He's not in trouble,' Doug gave Drue a scathing look. 'Pacey knows the potential complications of this relationship.'

'There are so many other girls available for a good time Pace, man. If you like the edgier girls there's this club we can go to...'

'Drue, you're an ass,' Pacey muttered before following his brother into his office and shutting the door in Drue's face.

'You know he's right. If this is about some need...'

'Some need to _what_?' Pacey glowered.

'I don't know...fulfill a fantasy...or I don't know...need the need to save the damsel in distress...'

'It's not about that,' Pacey glared at his brother because he wasn't entirely impressed. Doug gave a loud sigh,

'Pace, I'm not trying to be hard on you, I'm just looking out for you. Girls like that, kids like that, they're angry and prone to fucking up big time. I don't want her to take you down too. I get the Alex thing, I really do. You're amazing with him and if you're ready to become a dad to a kid that needs one then I couldn't be prouder, but this thing with the girl...'

'Joey,' Pacey interrupted.

'I get that I screwed up. She committed a crime because she couldn't find help and she ended up in prison. I played a part in that because I made you tell her that you couldn't be friends, that she couldn't go to you for help. Friends was one thing Pace. But a relationship?'

'I love her,' Pacey stated boldly,

'You _what_?' Doug scoffed.

'So you can love whoever you want but the person I fall for has to be of a certain calibre? She has to have never been in trouble? She's paid her debt. There can be no accusation of leniency - she went to prison! She's amazing and maybe she's tough, maybe she's feisty, and maybe she doesn't take anyone's shit, but I love those things about her as much as you seem to take issue with them.'

'Pace, you're always going to be subjected to pointing fingers and the kind of asinine comments Drue was making.'

'Have people's asinine comments and pointing fingers ever made you regret coming out? Being with Jack?'

'No never,' Doug admitted.

'I don't care what other people think. I care about what she thinks. It would also be really nice if my family could support me. Maybe you could get to know her as a person rather than a criminal record. She's a nice person, a good person and I actually think you'd like her.'

'I'll try Pacey but if she puts one foot out of line I can't show favouritism and neither can you.'

'I promise,' Pacey assured his brother.

'Well ok then. But you better mean that because if you don't it's your career.'


	13. Chapter 13

**Thanks for the reviews and the feedback - typo spotting is always helpful! Please keep it up. It keeps me working through writers block lol!**

 **Thanks, Tab xx**

 **p.s. This is just a light, easy chapter - enjoy!**

 **Chapter Thirteen**

When Pacey arrived home at two in the morning he was tired, but he couldn't deny that he had an increasing sense of excitement with every second that passed as the distance to his house lessened. Unlocking the front door he felt his stomach dive bombing for his toes every ten seconds at the mere idea of her in his bed. She might not even be there he kept reminding himself, but it did nothing to calm his lively nerves or his libido. He knew he needed sleep but he wanted her to be in his room more than anything. He'd done enough late shifts as Alex's parent to know the six thirty wake up was killer after the two am arrive home. He usually went to daycare a little later on those days because Pacey found himself a little short on motivation and he liked to hang with the kid rather than rushing him out the door. Of course once he got home after dropping him and could go back to bed for a couple of hours, that was entirely nevessary. Of course he was on at eleven the following day so he'd have to Alex to daycare earlier if he wanted to snooze at all. He'd tried not to expect anything of Joey, but she'd been used to caring for Alex and had taken him to daycare frequently when he had a late shift.

Opening the front door quietly he put his gun away properly. It was a part of his routine that he took extremely seriously. Once that was done he climbed the stairs and slipped into the bathroom to pee and do his teeth. His heart was thumping so loudly as he moved to his bedroom door that he didn't even hear the squeaky floorboard he normally tried to miss. She wasn't in there and everything in him deflated in disappointment. He sighed, loudly for the middle of the night but he couldn't deny that he'd really wanted her to be there. The true extent of his feelings was unexpected and had taken him somewhat by surprise. He really, really loved this girl and it wasn't frivolous like some of his relationships, or even about a needy personality like Andie. Joey was strong and that was something he loved most. Her life was a fucking catastrophe, and she had a knack for fucking up big time, but she was a doer not a drowner. Not that there was anything wrong with drowning under the weight of life's problems, he just hadn't ever been with someone as strong. Without bothering to shut his door - it helped him hear Alex if he cried in the night - Pacey stripped off his uniform, putting his badge and belt on his dresser and the rest in the wash basket.

The soft, appreciative whistle from his doorway scared him half to death, and he spun around entirely naked to see her standing there silently laughing. She looked amazing, her long hair loose, and wearing only a pair of blank panties and a black tank.

'Jeez, Jo,' he grabbed some clean boxers and pulled them on,

'Oh don't cover it up,' she protested, her voice lilting musically with her amusement.

'Joey,' he chastised in embarrassment but she just giggled at that and walked into his room in a predatory way, after gently shutting the door behind her.

'Don't be mad,' she gave him a sultry look, her hands smoothing over his chest, 'look how gorgeous you are.' She ran her hands over his pecs before locking them at the back of his head and then slanted her mouth over his, all while shifting her hips deliberately against him, no doubt revelling in his rather obvious attraction. His shift had been long and fairly rotten after her visit, especially with Drue's inability to keep from running his mouth off the whole time, so he was surprised at how energetic he suddenly felt, how he wasn't tired or ready for sleep any longer. Joey shifted her hips against him, and it felt amazing, the low groan unstoppable. He felt her smile into the kiss, then she moved her hands, featherlight as they ran down his body and to the waistband of his boxers, pushing them off.

'Jo,' he breathed her name, entirely intoxicated on whatever pheromones she was releasing, especially as her kisses dropped to his chest. When she pushed him to sit on the bed her intentions became very clear, 'no...'

'No you don't want me to, or no I don't have to?' she asked with dark eyes, all sultry and seductive.

'Both?' it came out as a question.

'I want to put my mouth on you,' she dropped to her knees and his cock throbbed appreciatively at the simple insinuation. 'I've wanted to do this for a long time,' her hand took hold of him and he groaned, 'I love that noise,' she told him, running her hand up and down him in such away that he found himself lifting his hips from the bed to be closer.

'Joey,' her name came out as a breathy lament.

'This is because of how I feel about you...and because I really want to,' she poked out her tongue and it brushed against the tip of his cock.

'Fuck,' the curse flew out and he opened his eyes to see her smirking at his reaction, before she licked up one side and then took him in her mouth.

He thought the one minute thirty seconds it took for him to come was pretty admirable considering how warm and delectable her mouth was, considering how she could use her tongue and hand to extremely good effect. When he came she swallowed it and then kissed him down there, gently, lovingly even. He pulled her into his arms and they lay back on the bed, his hands running across her, before he was turning and pressing his lips to hers in what was supposed to be a thank you, or an expression of love, but it quickly became heated, especially when a soft almost moan came from her and floated in the air between them. Despite an orgasm minutes ago he was hard again and desperate to slot his body between her thighs. Instead he put his hand on the firm, flatness of her stomach.

'Can I touch you?' he asked, nipping her ear lobe and rewarded by a soft gasp and her body arching towards his.

'Yes,' she put her hand on his and pushed it under the edge of her panties. His fingers brushed over her clit, down through short hair, God he found that a turn on which surprised him because girls always seemed to be hairless these days, then he found tight wet warmth to encase his fingers and he spontaneously groaned his approval, shocking even himself. This girl turned him half wild apparently, as he pushed a finger inside of her, while rubbing on her clit with both his thumb and the palm of his hand, his mouth clamped down on the soft flesh under her tank, before dragging the material out of the way and finding bare skin he licked and sucked, and bucked his hips against her thigh. She squirmed delightfully under his ministrations, her hands gripping onto his wrist, her eyes shut and her head thrown back. She was wonderfully carefree, the soft noises the biggest turn on, though he loved the gasp she made as she came, as if it had come as a complete surprise. He wanted to make her come again, because she looked so carefree in that one moment - her face free of makeup, her hair a mess from bed, her head thrown back and everything about her limp and relaxed. She pressed her hands over his though, as a clear message and so he stopped,

'I couldn't, that was too nice...' she attempted to explain, 'can we please just kiss?'

'Mmmmm,' he agreed, and his mouth slanted over hers.

* * *

The sound of Alex's cries woke him up. His heart thudded loudly because he was tired, and had been in an extremely deep sleep. Joey, wearing nothing but panties was curled up on his chest. The crying had apparently roused her from slumber as well as she was pressing warm kisses to his pecs,

'You sleep,' she told him, rolling fully on top of him, until she was straddling him, his hard on pressing right at the apex of her thighs. She sighed, and rubbed herself against him. His hands grabbed her hips and rocked her again, a soft moan on his lips. 'You sleep,' she reiterated and then she was walking across the room, a silhouette of perfection and was gone. Seconds later Alex was blissfully silent.

* * *

Pacey showered and headed down strairs at ten. Joey and Alex were in the living room playing with cars,

'I love my nephew but playing cars is the most boring thing in the entire world,' she admitted with a smile at him.

'You had breakfast?' he asked and she shrugged,

'I had coffee. Alex had oatmeal.'

'He loves that stuff,' Pacey chuckled. 'Want a slice of toast?'

'Sure,' she nodded and stood up leaving Alex with his cars. Somehow she was in his arms in seconds. Pacey was pretty sure they both moved in each other's direction but he couldn't have said for sure. One second they were two separate entities and then they were entwined, a mass of groping hands and deep, ardent kisses. Without thinking he was lifting her onto the kitchen sideboard and stepping between her legs, thrusting against her desperate for some relief of the perpetual tension, no matter that it had been relieved at least twice during the night.

'Pace, pace,' Alex was whining and tugging on his leg which of course made him immediately aware of the fact that he probably aught not to be dry jumping the kid's aunt first thing in the morning.

'Sorry kiddo,' he pressed a kiss to Joey's neck and she pouted.

'Are you ok to drop him at daycare?' she asked and he nodded,

'Sure. You're working one to five?'

'Yeah,' she pressed her head to his chest for a moment.

'And tonight we go on our date,' he whispered the words and she blushed which he loved. It was so at odds with the person she outwardly presented, this tough, hardened, sassy girl. Really she was soft, and gooey and delicious.

'I've never been on a date. I feel like I should ask what to wear?'

'Wear whatever you want,' he chuckled, 'it'll be fine.'

'Ok,' she agreed as the scooped the protesting toddler into their collective arms, whereupon he inserted himself into the middle of their embrace.

'Hug Pace, hug Jo,' he said and smiled widely, eyes shut and a look of contentment.

'Course little man,' Pacey repositioned Alex on his hip, 'Let's make toast.'

'Peas,' Alex looked expectant.

'Make then eat,' Pacey explained.

* * *

'Where are we going?' Joey asked for the sixteenth time, their clasped hands swinging between them.

'You're hungry, right?' he smirked because she clearly hated not being in the know. She looked entirely edible with her dark skinny jeans and revealing black halter top, the black boots he'd bought her, apparently the only shoes she owned.

'Starving. I fed Alex but I didn't eat because I figured that's what people do on dates, right?'

'You've never been on a date?' he asked with a surprised guffaw.

'No,' she gave him a withering look, 'guys don't think they have to date girls like me.'

'So you don't consider the other nights drink a date?'

'Well no. He had one thing on his mind. I was looking forward to bursting his bubble. I wanted to make you jealous.'

'Success,' he murmured and she smiled brightly,

'I wasn't expecting him to be quite so pushy.'

'No,' he agreed.

'So are we nearly there?'

'You wanna sound more like an eight year old?'

'Pacey,' she whined and he laughed,

'We're here,' he agreed.

'The docks?' she looked mildly confused and a little apprehensive.

'Not there,' he nodded in the direction of where he'd found her drinking, the spot where Jen died. 'Just say if you'd rather go somewhere else.'

'I'm ok,' she shrugged, 'I'm intrigued.'

'I own a boat,' he admitted, 'I thought we could have dinner, watch the sun set, hang out.'

'You did?' she looked up at him, her eyes full of affection and surprise.

'Yeah. I'd take you sailing but it would be a little cold and we wouldn't be able to talk...or you know...kiss so easily.'

'Well we've gotta be able to kiss,' she teased and he laughed,

'Well yeah,' he pressed a kiss to her forehead. 'And here she is. True Love.'

'True Love?' she gave him a look, 'that's a little smultzy.'

'Don't knock the smultz kid,' he stepped on board and stopped her as she made to step on after him, 'na-ah,' he waggled a finger which she caught and bit, her gorgeous lips wrapping around it sending a pulse of desire right through him.

'I'm not asking permission,' she gave him a knowing look.

'Ruin my fun why don't you,' he pouted and she merely rolled her eyes,

'I might let ya take me below deck,' she offered as a concession and that pulse beat through him again,

'Come 'ere,' he reached for her hands and tugged her onto the deck and into his arms. 'You never need permission,' he claimed her mouth greedily, loving how enthusiastically she kissed him back.

'Now stop mauling me and feed me,' she mumbled the words into his kiss moments later by which point one of his hands was on her ass and the other on her bra covered chest because he'd already shoved it up her top.

'Sure, sure,' he chuckled and going below deck reappeared with a couple of blankets, and a pile of cushions. He arranged the cushions effectively making a nest of comfy stuff and then went back below deck for a bottle of sparkling water, a beer and some glasses.

'Water?' she pouted.

'Nose clean remember?' he sat back in the cushions and pulled her body against his, allowing the gentle rocking of the boat to calm him.

'I was referring to the fact that my stomach is eating itself,' she informed him, craning her neck back to look at him.

'Pizza is coming,' he turned slightly so they could kiss comfortably. 'I wanna know how you're feeling about art school,' he told her breaking the kiss. 'I feel like we haven't even spoken about it lately and you start on Monday.'

'We've talked about me and school before Pace. I get that this school is more about the things that I love but the kids there are the stereotypical artsy types. I'm not. I don't know what I'm expecting but I'm not entirely looking forward to it.'

'Would you like to be an artist?' he asked genuinely but she looked sceptical,

'Only the extremely talented can make a good career of art. I imagine I'll pump gas at the local filling station. Or work at the library my entire life.'

'You don't have a career goal then? Or a dream career?'

'Survival was always my goal, and once Alex was born it was his survival.'

'You don't have to worry about that anymore,' Pacey reassured her but she frowned a little.

'You know I like you a lot right?'

'I hope you do,' he answered carefully.

'That whole night I was out with that jerk of a guy I kept thinking that a girl like me doesn't deserve a guy like you...'

'Now wait...' he interrupted but she put a hand over his mouth,

'I also thought that you were right to insist on just friends.'

'You did?' he couldn't quite hide the disappointment.

'Well yeah, because if I do something, anything that hurts you, that makes you dislike me, well I lose everything you've so kindly given me. All the opportunities, this happy place, a home that's warm, the job...it's all fragile Pace. I was worried that I wouldn't be able to be myself, that if I did fuck up...well I'd lose everything.'

He was struck by the complete validity of her fears.

'I...I get it. How come you decided to say yes? I mean when we spoke outside the station...how come you said this was what you wanted?'

'Because it is what I want. I might fuck this up royally and I probably will, but I feel like having this for just once in my life is worth that risk. I don't think guys like you come along often and I certainly don't think they fall in love with girls like me. I would be a fool to not take a chance on this over what _might_ happen. You never know, maybe I'll stay out of trouble. Maybe I will keep making you happy against all the odds.'

'You certainly make me happy right now,' he told her honestly and it was true, especially cocooned in their nest of cushions and blankets under the stars without the worry of interruption from a small child intent on stealing _all_ the cuddles.

'You make me happy too.'

'So if not an artist, what would you like to do?'

'When I'm grown up?' she smirked.

'Yeah, I guess,' his cheeks burned red, but the kiss she placed on each of his cheeks eased his embarrassment.

'I don't have huge aspirations. Maybe that's wrong but I guess happiness, a home and a family. That's all I really want. Kids. I guess I wouldn't mind working. I'm not stupid. If I could I don't know...do portraits or something for people, maybe decorate mugs and sell them, that would please me. I wouldn't want to work in an office if I had kids though. I know daycare is necessary for Alex, but I'd rather he was at home with you or me.'

'Really?' he hadn't heard a girl say something like that ever.

'Yes. I admire working moms, I really do. I think there's definite benefits to that, but there's benefits to having a parent around. To being parented.'

'What was it like when you were young?'

'I don't think you really want to know,' she shrugged, her mouth pursed.

'I do. That's the thing about loving someone, you actually do want to know everything.'

'I was alone a lot. My dad was never there...he was off being criminal I guess. And my mom, well she was in her room most of the time. I remember feeding myself as a really little kid, I guess maybe three. We should have been taken by social services. She did drugs sometimes but mostly she was just depressed and so she ignored us. Basic care wasn't a priority.'

'You're excellent with Alex. How come you're so good?'

'Bessie tried but she was like my mom - you know, depressed a lot. I guess I watched TV. Saw what the families on sit coms were like, and I wanted it to be like that. Even in books I read - I mean Anne of Green Gables for a start. It doesn't take a genius to work out what a kid needs - love, food and attention. I want to give that kid everything. I'd want to give my kid everything.'

'I really want kids too,' he told her, 'I know a lot of guys aren't up for that, but I love the idea of a family that's mine.'

'You already have a kid at the moment,' Joey pointed out and he laughed,

'Yeah I guess. And it's as good as I thought it would be. When he looks at me like I'm the best thing ever and says "hug Pace" God, but my fucking heart melts.'

'Melts mine as well.'

'I'm sorry it was always so awful,' he wanted to say something about what she'd told him.

'I didn't always think it was so awful. Not back then before dad went to prison and mom killed herself. Back then it was my normal. My home, my family, it was what I knew. You must know what I mean?'

'Yeah I do,' I admit, because as hard as I found and still find my family, they are mine. 'Best memory?'

'Saturday morning cartoons. Lazing in pyjamas. Mom had usually been paid on a Friday and she'd have brought home pizza or takeaway the night before. There was always something left lying around.'

'Leftover food is your best memory?' he frowned.

'Well we were always hungry so yeah. That and snuggling under blankets and watching cartoons.'

'I dig the cartoon bit,' he nodded. 'No wonder you always wax lyrical about the state of my cupboards.'

'And your cooking,' she pointed out. 'I'll be fat one day I swear. It's so hard to stop eating when you've never known when you'll eat next.'

'You'd be super cute chubby,' he tugged her a little closer, running a hand over the smooth curve of her ass.

'Glad you think so,' she laughed.

'Pizza,' the guy shouted from the dock and they both sat up. Pacey looked at the kids eyes widen as he took in Joey.

'Um, uh, hey Joey,' he said, looking nervous. 'Officer Witter,' he fumbled for the card machine and nearly dropped the pizza.

'Hi,' Joey scowled at the boy and Pacey narrowed his eyes.

'I uh, haven't seen you at school...'

'I went to prison,' Joey stated bluntly.

'Oh,' he actually took a step back and Pacey laughed,

'She isn't dangerous.'

'Try telling that to Grant Bodine. They had to surgically extract a testicle,' the kid said but then smiled weakly at Joey.

'I'm going to an art school, about forty five minutes away. In Boston,' Joey volunteered and Pacey concluded this guy wasn't someone who was awful to her.

'I'll tell Ms. Munro. She'll be pleased...'

'To see the back of me, yeah,' Joey stood up and Pacey watched the kid eye her from head to toe, before licking his lips nervously.

'You were always the best in class, whatever she said,' the kid punched in the numbers on the machine but clearly got it wrong and began to fluster. 'Um yeah, here you go officer,' he handed the machine to Pacey, his eyes flitting back and forth between the two of them. Joey must have seen the questions in the kids eyes because she plastered herself to the side of Pacey's body and pushed her hand under the hem of his tshirt, her head resting on his shoulder. The kid couldn't stop staring and it definitely was amusing Joey though Pacey could sense the potential trouble.

'Thanks AJ,' she murmured, though her eyes were fixated on him and not the kid. 'See ya,' she was telling him to go and he got the message when she nuzzled her nose along the column of Pacey's neck.

'You were scaring that kid on purpose,' Pacey accused with an affectionate smile,

'Well yeah - did you see the way he looked at me?'

'In his defence, you are perhaps the most stunning girl to ever walk the planet.'

'You're biased,' she chided, 'you love me.'

'Before I loved you I still thought you had to be the most stunning girl I'd ever seen,' he said as they re-nestled in amongst the cushions and blankets, this time with the pizza box.

'Sure,' she rolled her eyes as she helped herself to a slice of pepperoni pizza. Pacey reached across and handed her a napkin which weakened the power of her eye roll by causing her to smile.

'You're beautiful Joey,' he told her sincerely.

'Enough of that,' she muttered looking adorably shy as she took a bite of her pizza. He wanted to kiss her, forget pizza and just kiss her. Live on loving the girl next to him.

'So lots of babies are your future life goal?' he smirked, his tone teasing.

'At the moment lots of _your_ babies are my future life goal, but keeping making fun of me and that will change,' she teased back and he laughed.

'You know if you could get your graffiti art onto a mug it would be awesome.'

'Hmmm,' she frowned, a look of concentration painting she face. For a couple of minutes she was silent. 'Yeah I could do that. I got paid yesterday so maybe I'll go to that store you took me to. See if they have what I need.'

'Lets go tomorrow. I have the day off. We could take Alex, get brunch, have a second date,' he suggested.

'Second dates being organized before the first ones over. Stop being so keen,' she chastised with a smirk.

'That a no?' he wasn't worried.

'That's a yes,' she looked so cute he kissed her. She tasted of pizza but he loved pizza so it wasn't a problem.

'So you think you could do it?'

'Yeah, I just need all my equipment in smaller sizes. Miniature really.'

'That's very cool,' he murmured.

'What is?'

'Just how you approach art. I'm about as artsy as a potato.'

'Not very?'

'Nope,' he grinned.

'But you restored this boat?'

'Yeah.'

'That's artistic in its own way. I love how good you are with your hands,' and she meant the double entendre. One of said hands landed on her stomach and skinned between her legs, still managing to brush her clit even over her jeans. 'Mm Pace,' she sighed and dropped her pizza back in the box, before wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling his lips to hers.

* * *

Pacey looked over at Joey and smiled. He found himself doing that a lot. During the drive to Boston, the whole time they were in the art supply shop, even if he was playing with Alex so he wouldn't pull off all the art supplies, and now, while they sat down to eat pancakes, Alex trapped in a high chair with a bunch of toys.

'Stop looking so gooey eyed,' she blushed.

'One, I love you and two, you look really hot,' he told her with a casual shrug. It was true. He loved her and she looked hotter than hell in her boots, pantyhose and the surprising dress. It was black, of course, but it was dotted with red roses and she'd teamed it with a shiny, red belt. It was short, but the skirt was flared. It was a little more girly than her usual style, though she still looked hardcore. He considered that she might always look like she was tough as nails and it didn't really bother him. Whatever she seemed to put on made her look unbearably sexy, so despite the fact that it was 11.30 on a Sunday morning and they were out at brunch, with the baby, he wanted her.

'You're crazy,' she popped another forkful of pancake dripping with maple syrup into her mouth, while simultaneously spooning more of her strawberries onto Alex's plate.

'Crazy about you,' he couldn't resist it and she laughed this time.

'You are crazy to want to be with me.'

'No,' he shook his head and she laughed again,

'You're a cop Pace. And I'm an ex con.'

'Ex, baby,' he added the endearment as he leaned across and kissed her.

'You think I'm entirely reformed?'

'I think you have less reason to commit a crime than you did.'

'Maybe,' she considered his words. 'I worry that I have a default though.'

'A default?' he frowned because that didn't sound good.

'Yeah. Some people run, some people hide, and some people become self destructive. You know when they face adversity, or something goes wrong.'

'Make your default me,' he offered. She leant back in her chair and appraised him,

'You're a great cop you know,' she told him. 'But sometimes I think I can see you as something else.'

'Like what?' he leaned forward.

'I don't know a chef, or something with kids. Did you always want to be a cop?'

'No,' he shook his head with a chuckle, 'it was the last thing I ever wanted to be. My dad was a cop and an ass. My brother was a cop and when he was all repressed he was also an ass. These two potential role models who were nothing but demeaning towards me,' he gave her a look because she knew what he was talking about. He'd told her all about his family.

'So what happened?' she asked. 'What changed?'

'I guess...we hear two kinds of story in the press about cops. The ones that do nice things, and the ones who...well do the worst things. I like helping people. I always have. I thought I could help people, be a force of good, battle the dark side.'

'Big Star Wars fan as a kid?' she teased and he chuckled,

'The biggest.'

'I think I'm very glad you chose the way you did. I would probably have been in prison long ago and I doubt I'd be out now without you. Knowing you were on the outside, feeling like I did about you, well it gave me something to be good for. I might have drowned in there otherwise.'

'I don't know. You're stronger than you think you are!'

'Are you happy as a cop?'

'Yeah I think so. And I'm happier with my brother, and life in general,' he turned his attention to Alex who'd began to whine, marvelling at how easy it seemed to be to hang out with Joey and look after the kid. Maybe because they both had an invested interest in Alex - he was a shared responsibility even if the state had awarded him guardianship. Conversation moved onto lighter topics, from debating the best ice cream flavour to their opinions on fracking. It was a perfect second date and best of all, he got to take her home, hang out with her and hopefully convince her to sleep in his bed, entangled with him.


	14. Chapter 14

**Hi all,**

 **Thanks for the reviews. Please, please, please keep reviewing. I used to have an end in mind but that's faded as I write so I need inspiration - that's you guys:-)**

 **Tab xx**

 **Chapter Fourteen**

Pacey couldn't wait to get home. His eyes kept flicking to his squad car clock and he was tapping his leg annoyingly.

'I'm beginning to think you're as anally retentive as your brother,' Jack shoved his shoulder light heartedly, 'quit the irritating shaky thing please.'

'Sorry Jackers,' Pacey sighed, 'I just keep wondering how her first day went.'

'Your girlfriend's first day at school?' Jack teased making a silly face, Pacey just gave him the finger and glared,

'She was worried...'

'The other children wouldn't like her?' Jack continued to mock.

'You're being a jackass,' Pacey shook his head as Jack continued to laugh at his own jokes.

'Aww come on Pace. She's a high school girl, of course I'm going to tease you. What would be the point in being your friend if I didn't get to tease the hell out of you.'

'Fine, tease away, but please be my buddy as well.'

'Sure,' Jack looked a little guilty so Pacey charged ahead,

'I need her to be happy because happy is hopefully crime free.'

'You make her happy. Any fool can see that,' Jack shrugged.

'But this is the early bit of a relationship..we both know it takes time for the realities to sink in and the shine to wear off a little. She needs to be happy in general or else I don't know...she may find it hard to stay clean.'

'I thought you said she didn't actually do the drugs?' Jack's gaze was fixated on Pacey now.

'I did and she didn't. I mean clean of criminal activity, of warnings, of trouble in general.'

'And you said trouble follows her?'

'It does.'

'Maybe if she dressed a little...I don't know...'

'Don't be one of _those_ guys Jack. Come on man, I know you're not one of _those_ guys.'

'I'm not,' Jack immediately looked chastised.

'Because I can and will get up on my soap box,' Pacey warned and Jack punched his shoulder light heartedly,

'Believe me Pace I know, and I'd be up there with you.'

'She should not be judged on how she dresses, and certainly not by a misogynistic society. She is not marked as prey because she likes black and happens to be tall and beautiful and dresses to express herself and...'

'I said we don't need you on your soapbox,' Jack reiterated. 'I'm with you on this one. She's just...sometimes a scary girl.'

'Well she has had to be scary because of the abuse and neglect...'

'I know. Forget I said anything. I just, I feel for her too. I want it to go well for her. I don't want to have to arrest your girlfriend Pace, be it over something small or large. I like you. You're my best friend and I want you happy. She makes you happy.'

'I know, I know,' Pacey admitted. 'I just...I don't like the way everyone blames things on her. You should hear my dad - if she wasn't so aggressive, if she only dressed more like a respectable girl, if she didn't have a permanent scowl on her face...'

'Woah, wait a second there. You took her to meet your parents?' Jack whistled and Pacey shook his head,

'No man. Far to soon to subject her to _that_.'

'So what's your dad basing all this on?'

' _Your_ boyfriend took home her file around the time of her trial.'

' _Your_ brother can be an ass,' Jack claimed and they looked at each other and laughed.

* * *

'Hey,' Pacey let himself into the house and smiled widely at Joey who was curled up on the armchair sketching, 'how'd it go?'

'It was ok,' she shrugged.

'Ok?' he tried to hold the smile on his face.

'You're sweet Pace,' she put the sketch pad down and jumped to her feet, greeting him at the door with a kiss, her arms wrapping around his neck to hold him in place as she kissed him. There was no denying that he loved kissing Joey. That he loved everything about kissing Joey, from the feel of her lips, the movement of her tongue, the smell of her up close and most especially the little noises she made, and even the little noises she made him make. It took him nearly five minutes to break the kiss and he considered himself somewhat steely and heroic to have managed that,

'Why am I sweet?' he recollected her comment.

'Because you're so optimistic about my day,' she smiled. 'These kids at this school...they've been there for a long time, they know each other really well and I'm the new comer. That's hard enough. Add into it that they're pretentious...'

'They're _all_ pretentious?' He looked at her suspiciously.

'Ok, fine, maybe they're not _all_ pretentious but they're all excellent at self promotion and I'm not. I'm not even sure I want to be.'

'Jo - you're wonderful and I've said again and again that you just need to be yourself. If you don't want to self promote then don't. Your work is excellent, let it speak for itself.'

'Yeah I could try,' she looked down and shifted uncomfortably arousing his spidy sense.

'What's up?'

'They asked me for drugs,' she took a hasty step back. 'I told them I don't do that and they kept pushing and pushing and I said I went to prison for it and I wasn't going to risk anything again and then everyone was talking and I wished I'd never said anything but I'm not ashamed. Saddened by everything maybe, but not ashamed. I hate when people talk and embellish, and then say stuff.'

'Why'd you mention prison?' he pulled her back to the armchair where she'd been sat but this time he sat and she curled up on his lap.

'I guess I wanted them to know I was serious...' she hesitated, her top teeth worrying her bottom lip.

'You can tell me,' he reassured.

'A kid I sold to...he was there. He knew more than he should. Who I worked with and things like that. It made me edgy I guess.'

'Doug would love to bring that guy down you know,' Pacey reiterated discussions from during her trial but she paled,

'No, Pacey, you mustn't. At the moment he sees it that I went to jail for him - in his twisted head, but God...i'd never be safe. You'd never be safe and then Alex would be at risk.'

'You'll tell me if he approaches you though? This kid or the guy?'

'Yes of course,' she nodded wildly. 'Maybe you can come pick me up one day? In your uniform and with the squad car?' She made the suggestion tentatively, uncertain of what he would say,

'Sure, sure. Absolutely,' Pacey agreed readily. 'That's a good idea, let him know where you're at now.'

'Exactly,' she began to kiss him, a leading kiss with roaming hands and clear intent.

'Jo, what about the work? Tell me how classes were?'

'Pace, you want to talk about my school work?' she gave him a look, 'I want to suck you off.'

'Joey,' he groaned both at her words and in protest.

'I really, really want to,' she turned herself on his lap so she was straddling his waist and rubbed herself against him, 'my classes were boring. I tried not to be irritated by the teachers who have once again assumed I know nothing and won't work,' she pressed intermittent kisses to his neck and chest as she spoke, all the while rocking against him, 'I've done my homework. They liked my new art. I like you,' she picked up his hand and pushed it up her shirt.

'Fuck,' he squeezed and it was like a mist descended because he couldn't think any longer, just kiss her. He could only moan and lift his hips to help her as she pulled down his uniform pants and boxers and took him in her hand before sitting back on him again and rubbing her pantie covered clit against him until she came, the centre of her panties wet with moisture, which had him desperate to push them out the way and push himself into her. But then she was shimmying down his body and wrapping her lips around him. It was only after he came that he felt the haze lift, and he pulled her against him and kissed her.

'I didn't make dinner,' she gave him a coy little look. 'I thought maybe we could make it together?'

'If I can move eventually,' he ran his hands through her hair. 'You're so fucking sexy.'

She just smiled,

'I love everything about your body,' she told him. 'Your height, your gorgeous blue eyes, your hands. I never thought hands could turn me on without touching but yours do. I love that you're left handed which is stupid and ridiculous. But I'm stupid and ridiculous about you. You make my whole life different. I don't know what I'd do without you,' she admitted and his stomach flipped over. It was a good flip and a bad flip. Anything that made it seem that she felt for him like he felt for her was certainly good. However, her words concerned him because he knew where she'd been before him and he didn't ever want her to go back there - with or without him.

'I love you Joey,' he told her. 'Now let's make some dinner. How was Alex?'

They made dinner and she caught him up on all Alex related news. After eating the stir fry he made and she supervised, they ate sitting at the table and acting as though on a date. Joey insisted on cleaning up and he looked through his mail, surprised by a blank envelope. He opened it up and frowned at the three hundred dollars.

'Is this yours?' he held up the envelope to Joey and she shook her head,

'It's yours,' she said with a causal shrug.

'Where's it from?' he sounded suspicious to his own ears. He was sure he could trust her. He _hoped_ he should.

'I got paid,' she shrugged and smiled.

'Where from? How much?' his brow furrowed because it was a blank envelope with cash in it and that _was_ suspicious. The smile fell from her face in realization,

'You don't trust me,' she stated blandly and he swallowed,

'It's not that I don't...'

'It is. It's exactly that,' she crossed her arms and stared at him defiantly.

'I was just asking,' he attempted.

'In a very obvious tone of voice. Your first thought was that I'd gotten it through illegal means.'

'Well, can you blame me?'

'I have a job Pacey. They paid me. You sorted it out - you remember?' she spoke witheringly, her anger seeping out of every pore.

'I'm sorry. My mind was on drug lords, and dealing. I just...for a moment...'

'Demonstrated your lack of faith?' she arched a cynical eyebrow.

'No, it wasn't that...' he was beginning to feel frustrated. Couldn't she understand that he did have faith and trust, but it was still hard. She herself spoke of defaults.

'You know I think that's why so many ex cons recommit crimes. No one has any faith. I expected that from society in general. I expect it from every person I meet. I didn't expect that from you.'

'It's an envelope full of cash. I'm a cop Joey.'

'I got out cash from my bank account. As a contribution to household costs. That's seventy five percent of my pay. The rest I kept for travel and art supplies,' she glared at him but he'd have been blind not to see the hurt in her eyes.

'Joey I didn't mean to sound like I didn't trust you. I just didn't understand. For a moment I let all my fears crash in on me. It's not about not trusting you.'

'I'm going out,' she snatched up her bag, and sketch book, shoved her feet into her boots and slammed the door behind her.

* * *

Pacey would have followed her. He'd never normally let her runaway from an argument. He hated that more than anything. He felt like arguments needed resolutions, that they aught to work through any issues. Of course he couldn't follow her. There was a baby sleeping upstairs, a baby in his care. Instead of following her he climbed the stairs and silently opened Alex's door and stared at the sleeping child. He was a beautiful child with his warm brown skin, large eyes and dark curly hair. Pacey adored him and lived in dread of his parents turning up and wanting him back. It was hard because he wanted Joey to have closure with her sister and Bodie, but he wanted them to stay away because he wanted to be Alex's dad, and he thought Joey was a much better mom than his biological one. Still, that wasn't going to be in his control.

At ten he called Jack, and twenty minutes later he was out in his cruiser hunting on the streets for Joey. He thought of her as his girlfriend but they'd only been on two dates and kissed a lot. He wasn't sure what that made them. He knew he loved her but she didn't owe him romance or love.

It was dark and it was raining. He felt ill at ease about the whole thing. On a whim he drove past the docks and spotting a lone, familiar figure he parked up his squad car.

He walked down to where she was, sat in her boots and the skimpy dress she'd been wearing at home, the material sticking to her skin. The bottle of tequila was thankfully mostly untouched.

'I stole the tequila,' she told him bluntly, not looking up but staring into the darkness. 'The guy who works at the liquor store, he knew I'd taken it too, but he's young and he let me get away with it. I think _he_ wanted to fuck me.'

'Jo...'

'Jo, what?' she bit out turning her glassy eyes to him at last. 'Jo, don't fuck up. Don't steal, don't drink, don't do anything. But even if you don't I won't trust you.'

'You're right Jo,' he admitted dropping to the dock beside her.

'I'm right?' she gave him a hard look.

'I don't trust you. And this is why...' he gestured to her, the dock, the tequila.

'I'm just fulfilling expectations,' she picked up the tequila and made to bring it to her lips but he snatched it from her hand,

'I might love you, I might even be your boyfriend, but I'm still a cop,' he told her and tipped up the bottle and let the liquid fall into the ocean.

'You're being an ass.' If looks could kill he'd be cold and stony.

'Look I'm sorry. I am. But I am a cop and I was called to arrest you several times. It takes time for change to happen. You went to jail Joey. I don't ever stop feeling guilty about that...'

'You feel guilty?' she scoffed, 'why on earth should you feel guilty. I sold the drugs. I was guilty and jail was my punishment.'

'Because I should have been there. I should have ignored my brother and been there,' he admitted.

'I made the choice and that's why they punished me. I made the wrong choice but I made it none the less. I could have gone to you, risked your job because we were starving. But I didn't. I chose a route where I'd had success before. You have nothing to feel guilty about.'

'But I do.'

'So what, you're trying to tell me that your guilt makes you incapable of trusting me?' Joey frowned.

'No,' he sighed. 'I have no excuse for that. My first thought when I saw that money was that you lied to me. That you did something. Even though it wasn't even logical. I was irrational because I want you with me. I want you with me all the time. I'm terrified of something going wrong and you ending up back in jail. I love you. That was no lie, no exaggeration. When you love someone as much as I love you, then you're protective. I want to protect you, even from yourself and so when I sense danger, I'm going to be a little over the top.'

'Ugh,' she muttered and rested her cheek against her bent legs.

'Ugh?' he queried, a little confused.

'Even when I have every right to be mad, even when you upset me like you did, you're still you, and lovely and just ugh.'

'I am sorry about tonight. I didn't expect and nor did I want money towards living expenses. It blind sided me.'

'You said you wanted this relationship to be equal, therefore you have to let me contribute. Else you become my guardian and not my boyfriend.'

'Ok...I can take that but you know couples support each other? Lots of couples have one partner earning and the other at school or with the kids...'

'And they've been together for five years not five minutes,' she gave a characteristic eye roll and he edged closer.

'I'm sorry,' he repeated and she let him know she forgave him by throwing herself at him and kissing him. He tried to withstand the force of her hug but he was propelled backwards until he was lying flat on his back, the musty wooden smell of the damp dock all around him and Joey plastered on top of him, her hands pushing roughly into his hair and her lips forceful on his. He hadn't been expecting to be forgiven, nor with quite as much gusto but he responded immediately to her, to the physical need to be close, to that end rolling them until Joey was lying on the dock and he was beside her, his hand trailing up her leg which was wet and slippy from the rain. His hand trailed beneath her dress and found the warmth between her legs. Hard, needy thrusts of his fingers, his thumb rough against her clit until she was breathing wildly, and coming loudly.

'That was a very public act. Let's move to your boat,' she instructed with heavy lidded eyes.

'Home,' he said instead.

'You still want me there? At home? Shouldn't you arrest me for shop lifting?'

'Apparently the guy that works there doesn't want to charge you but would rather hope he gets to fuck you,' Pacey growled, feeling feral as he scooped her into his arms, his face nuzzling against her wet skin.

'I promise I'll only fuck you,' she whispered with a slightly drunken lilt to her voice.

'I really, really want to fuck you,' he concurred, dropping her to her feet and pressing her against his squad car, his hips grinding his hard on against her.

'Soon,' she promised as her hand pushed between their bodies and squeezed him.

'Aw fuck...home Jo,' he told her.

* * *

Pacey wasn't thinking as they pushed their way into the house, a mass of entangled limbs and wet kisses. He shut the door and pressed her against it, pretty much ready to drop his pants and beg her to touch him. Luckily Jack coughed before then,

'Found her?' he smirked, clearly extremely amused.

'Ah, yeah,' Pacey was embarrassed. Jack had caught him with plenty of girls but it had definitely been a few years since he'd been caught so blatantly turned on. 'Um, thanks.'

'See you tomorrow Pace,' Jack thumped his shoulder as he headed out. 'Not a peep from the munchkin.'

'I owe you Jack.'

* * *

Pacey sat in the chair opposite his brother waiting for him to speak.

'I had a report last night. Same guy as last time claiming a girl was getting drunk down by the docks,' Doug leaned back in his chair and stared expectantly at Pacey. 'Half way through the call he says not to worry because a squad car just pulled up,' Doug waited and Pacey felt his heart begin to hammer wildly as his nerves became jumbled, wondering what his brother would say and what else this guy might have seen. Doug sat and simply waited. Doug was fucking good even if Pacey hated to admit it because the longer he waited the more compulsion Pacey felt to speak. But he didn't because he'd grown up with Doug and could resist even if no one else could.

'That wasn't a question,' he pointed out helpfully.

'Was Joey down on the docks last night?'

'Yes.'

'Drinking?'

'Yes.'

'Did you go find her?'

'Yes,' Pacey looked at his brother defiantly.

'But you didn't warn her?'

'She wasn't drunk,' Pacey defended.

'Did she get the booze from you?'

'Uh, no.'

'So I'm assuming she stole it?' Doug shook his head and cursed under his breath.

'The guy in the store let her take it.'

'Let her?' Doug's looks was sceptical.

'He was attracted to her and so he let her take it.'

'Idiot,' Doug cursed again. 'You made me a promise Pacey. Any trouble...'

'She wasn't causing any trouble,' Pacey burst out.

'She stole and was drinking in a public place. How can that not be trouble? Don't let your dick turn you soft.'

'Fuck off,' Pacey glared.

'I'm not your brother in here, I'm your boss,' Doug shouted angrily. 'Stop screwing up Pacey. You can't give her special treatment. You can't. You have to treat her the same as everyone else.'

'And I wouldn't have charged any other kid.'

'Most other kids don't have a record.'

'But she's still a kid.'

'That you're sleeping with!' Doug blew up.

'I'm not sleeping with her and your know what I mean.'

'I don't care what you do in the fucking bedroom, what the fuck does it matter what sexual favours she's performing, the point is the same.'

'The point is she faltered and arresting her or warning her would have done _nothing_ for her rehabilitation. She can do this. She is doing it, and she would have become just another statistic if I'd gone hard core on her. If she was a perfect stranger I'd think the same.'

'Well you consider this your unofficial warning Pace. Next time you be willing to write it up or you call one of us.'

'Sure,' Pacey glowered.

'You'll lose your job,' Doug warned and then softened, 'you're excellent at this job. And I like working with you. I think we operate better with you as part of the team. I want you to stay around.'

'Ok,' he nodded somewhat mollified.

'I know that you're infatuated...' Doug held up a hand when he saw Pacey was about to interrupt. 'I know that you love her. I get it. I really do. I like her, and I don't think we feel this way repeatedly through our lives. Just be sure it's what you really want.'

'You sound like Gretchen,' Pacey admitted.

'What did our wise sister have to say?'

'What you did. Only things like she might try and trap me with a baby. Apparently kids like Joey often want a family young so they "have something to love."'

'That's true.'

'I know,' Pacey rolled his eyes, channelling his girlfriend.

'And you're being careful?'

'We're not having sex,' Pacey repeated because apparently his brother didn't hear, or maybe didn't believe him the first time.

'But you'll be careful?'

'I'm not sure what business it is of yours whether I'm careful or not. Yeah Joey wants kids. She was upfront about that - she wants a home and a family, oh my god, call the police...it's hardly a crime.'

'Maybe you should make sure she can stay out of trouble before you go making any babies.'

'We're not planning on making any babies and I think I know how to use a condom.'

'You don't want to get trapped.'

'No, you all don't want me to get trapped. I don't see it as a trap.'

'Pacey...'

'You said you were my boss in here. I think you're behaving like my overbearing big brother right now so I'll be going.'

'Ok,' Doug nodded unable to rebuke that.


	15. Chapter 15

**Thanks for being so awesome and giving me feedback. It's so helpful. I feel like a lot of you on this one - not quite sure how I want it to go. Nothing much happens in this one but their relationship goes further and there are a few plot developments. Enjoy and please review even if it's just to get me writing. I move house next weekend and I have nothing packed. I also have nothing further written. "Reviews = words" said in the same tone as "points mean prizes"**

 **This chapter is for hawaiianaloha808 - happy birthday!**

 **Tab xx**

 **Chapter 15**

Pacey didn't know what to think about himself anymore. He loved Joey. He _was_ certain it was love - ill-advised and impossible at times, but love none the less. He was also obsessed with her and that concerned him at times, had him questioning whether it was obsession driving his perpetual need to be with her, whether it was obsession that explained her constant presence in his brain, her image, her laugh, her voice, her opinion saturating every cell. Even if it was obsession, he reasoned that the obsession was born of love, a love he understood and trusted in because he put her happiness above all else. He wanted her happy and safe more than anything in the world and he was happiest when with her. He reasoned that the obsession was manageable because he could still work and see his friends and function, he could still be a loving father to Alex, he reasoned that most love involves a little bit of obsession especially in the early, wildly _in love_ days. Of course even after three months of being together, after nearly a year and a half of knowing her, he was still infected with infatuation, with jaw dropping awe, with trying to know and understand her.

'Joey,' his plea was needy as he thrust against her thigh, his fingers between her legs and his lips wrapped around the soft flesh of her chest. He spent most of his alone time these days entwined with Joey. Between Alex, their work and school for Joey, which was thankfully over for the summer, the time they found to be alone together wasn't huge. Somehow whenever they found those moments they were kissing, touching, pleading with one another for more, always more. She was in his bed and naked, the only barrier between them his boxers which she had made no move to remove. His hand was between her legs but he wanted to taste her. Despite her enthusiastic exploration of his body and her love of his hand between her legs, she was reticent to try other things, and despite her 8 date prerequisite they still hadn't slept together and he'd lost count of how many dates they'd had. He wasn't bothered because he loved her, because he was obsessed with her body, with her noises, with her beautiful chest, with all of it.

'No,' she gasped as he flicked her clit.

'Let me,' he insisted, 'please.'

'It makes me feel exposed...' she attempted.

'Do you like going down on me?' he asked and she nodded, her cheeks flushed, her eyes dilated. 'That's how I feel about it. I want to smell you, to taste you, have you come with my face between your legs...'

'Pacey,' she mewled, and then nodded, a small bob of her head. Without hesitation he slid down her body and captured her clit with his lips, sucking it softly. Her reaction was instantaneous and extremely gratifying. She smelt just wonderful and he loved pushing his tongue into her, and eventually making her come with the loudest moan yet, her hands pushing his face into her. 'Ok, so I've changed my mind...' her voice was breathy.

'Huh?' he looked up at her from between her thighs.

'You can do that all the time,' she explained with a laugh. He smiled widely,

'You know sex is pretty good too,' he told her, making a big hint.

'Haha, so I've heard,' she rolled her eyes.

'There's no pressure,' he promised, because there wasn't. It was the first time he'd brought it up.

'I want to fuck you Pacey. Really, really badly,' she stared at him biting her lip.

'Then why aren't we fucking?'

'Because your mouth is between my legs,' she pointed out with a smirk.

'So I can...' he trailed off, aware that he didn't want to be crass, even if they were terming it fucking rather than making love, it was kind of both, and asking point blank if he could do _that_ seemed a little weird.

'You can push down your boxers and push into me,' she answered the question he didn't ask and he groaned loudly as his whole body throbbed with the need to do as she said.

'I need a condom,' he slid up her body watching as she dug around in her bag beside the bed and handed him a foil package.

'Guidance counsellor at school. Apparently I look like I might end up pregnant - guidance counsellors throw condoms at me as I walk up the halls.'

'Well thank god for that,' he pushed off his boxers and knelt on either side of her as he unrolled the condom onto himself and then stared down at her. Her legs were still parted from when he had his face between her thighs, and her small pert breasts looked fantastic. He wanted her so, so badly. 'I don't want to hurt you,' he hastened to say,

'I don't think you'll hurt me,' she reassured him and reached between them positioning him between her legs.

'God I want this,' he hissed still holding back.

'Take it then,' she urged and lifted her hips, at the same moment as he pushed into her. 'Ahhh,' she let out a gasp, of surprise he hoped rather than pain. 'Give me a sec,' she asked and he nodded, pressing kisses to her neck and her cheeks, trying desperately to resist the urge to move. 'That feels nice,' she said at length, her legs wrapping around him. 'You can move.'

'God Jo,' he mumbled, apparently incapable of coherent thought. Apparently also incapable of sex for longer than three or four minutes. She was so tight and so sexy that he was coming before he had a hope in hell of ensuring she did. 'I'm sorry,' he collapsed on top of her. 'I'm normally better at that, you're just so...fricking gorgeous, I just...'

'I don't care. That was just...amazing,' she stared at him appreciatively, her hands running through his hair.

'You liked it?' he couldn't help but sound extremely chuffed.

'Can we do it again?' her eyes were big and almost black they were so dilated.

'Well maybe in a second...' he offered.

'No now,' she insisted as she kissed the side of his neck. 'Please, now,' she clawed at his ass.

* * *

Joey loved having sex with him. He knew she was younger, and perhaps her sex drive was higher than other women he'd dated but she wanted sex _all_ the time. Not at stupid times of course. She was always appropriate around the baby. Well maybe appropriate was a phrase to far because she still hung off of Pacey and would kiss him, but she never initiated anything other than that when Alex was around. However, the second they were alone together she wanted it, in whatever adventurous fashion she'd thought up while they weren't alone. And she wasn't self conscious or shy in any way. She was demanding and bossy, and in love with coming. There was no more fear of being exposed. She wanted sex in every position; she wanted it naked, in her clothes, in the shower, in the kitchen, in his squad car, against the wall, the door, on the floor, the table. And in every imaginable position. He wasn't complaining because he wanted it as much as she did. She was adventurous and he was correspondingly adventurous himself. After sex they'd lay entwined together and talk. She liked to imagine what she'd do if she won the lottery, or would talk about her art. She asked him endless questions about his family, his friends, the cases he worked on. There was a general reluctance to talk about herself, about her past but he managed to draw some stuff out of her. He knew she loved bacon because her mom cooked it on her tenth birthday as a treat. He knew she missed her mom but not her dad. She didn't say much about her father but he realized that he wasn't just a criminal - he wasn't a very nice person either. Sometimes they'd lie together naked and she'd sketch him. She wanted to sketch him almost as much as she wanted sex. As time passed there was one issue that kept coming up - her reluctance to use birth control, she said she didn't care if she got pregnant and she wanted to "feel him."

'I want your baby Pacey,' she told him as they lay in a post coital heap on his bed.

'Not yet,' he told her and she pouted.

'It would be so nice to have a family.'

'It would be so nice to have you and I for a bit longer.'

'It would still be us but with a cute baby.'

'Jo, we have a cute baby,' he pointed out and she rolled her eyes.

'I know, but another one.'

'Jo, you know I'm not going anywhere right? That when I say I love you I mean it?' he stared at her lowered head and when she didn't answer he leaned under her shower of hair and kissed her. 'I'm not going anywhere. I'm not leaving you. I love you. We've only been together five months. It's too soon to have a baby.'

'I feel like I'm going to lose you,' she admitted.

'A baby isn't the way to keep me.'

'This isn't about a baby, that's separate.'

'Is it?' he pressed and she glared at him.

'Yes! I feel...oh god you wouldn't understand,' she sat at the edge of the bed and pulled on the checked shirt she'd taken off of him earlier, then stood, her back to the bed.

'Don't walk away, make me understand,' he pleaded.

'I want to hide,' she admitted at length, still standing with her back to the bed.

'Hide?'

'From the people that knew me before.'

'I don't understand?'

'I saw...I saw the guy...' she admits, turning back to the bed. He stared at her, his face blank and pale.

'The guy you sold for?'

'Yes.'

'Where?' his voice was firm, hard. He knew one thing for sure - he didn't want any asshole interrupting all that Joey was achieving, or putting her in any danger, or anything that would take her from him or hurt her. 'When?'

'Outside of school before we broke up and now outside the library. He just sits in his car, just sits there watching me.

'Watching you? Why the hell was he watching you? How involved with this guy were you?' he was instantly suspicious. She sat back in the bed, still not facing him.

'These things are always complicated,' she attempted to explain but he found his temper rising,

'Complicated how?' he wanted her to just say it. Didn't she understand he could only help if he knew everything? She kept hiding things or not telling him everything and it was extremely frustrating.

'My whole family was involved in drugs. I know you know what that means,' she turned and faced him and she looked extremely young in that moment. So young he felt ashamed of his frustration. 'I used to watch my dad doing lines of coke like it was no big deal off the coffee table. My mom...she used heroine. I used to watch and I hated it, hated how it changed them and took them from me. This guy...he was a friend, or a colleague, I don't know which, of my dads. He was always inappropriate with me, but he acknowledged me, unlike my parents most of the time. Pace...' she sucked in a sharp breath and closed her eyes for a long time. When she opened them tears streamed down her face.

'I suppose you cops use the phrase groomed. I think it's an awful phase but I was vulnerable and that's what he did. Groomed me so he could take advantage.'

'And did he?' his throat felt like it had swelled, his voice coming out strangled and hoarse.

'Yes and no. Bessie, she saw what he was doing when I was really little and she stopped it...' Joey hesitated and then spoke, the words thick, 'at her own expense.'

'Joey,' he wanted to touch her but she flinched when he did,

'He found other ways to use me. I was just a kid so they used me to move drugs around, he and my dad. I was still little and this guy he praised me. My dad, he wasn't into vocalizing, but this other man made me feel special. I think I was ten when I realized that what I was doing was wrong. Thing is, you'd think I'd have known before but drugs were normal to me. I hated them but I didn't recognize the illegality - it was so everyday. When I was ten I read this book. I didn't have any friends so when it was freezing I hung out in the library.'

'You were scary at ten?' he asked, wishing he hadn't when she shot him a scathing look,

'Not scary, no. Neglected. Neglected kids smell. I'm sorry but it's true. I was beginning to realize and do something about it, but unwashed clothes smell and we never had any soap in the house. That sounds crazy to someone like you I'm sure.'

'Not so crazy, no,' he edged closer.

'Anyway this book, I can't even remember the title, was all about drugs and it was a good book. It made me reassess. Reassess my family, the people around my family. The things they made me do. The packages and other stuff as I got older.'

'Other stuff?'

'This guy he threatened my family, to turn me into the cops as I got older.'

'What did he want?'

'Me to sell for him, not just be a courier, for me to suck him off. I'm sure you're not _that_ surprised?' she looked at him and he felt a mixture of disgust and jealousy that he was honestly ashamed of. It wasn't _her_ fault but it didn't change how he felt about it. It didn't change the fact that she'd put her mouth on a drug lords cock and...

'How old were you?'

'The first time was just before my twelfth birthday.'

'Oh god Jo, I'm sorry,' he was pulling her into his arms without thought because the thoughts and realizations in his head were just too abhorrent. She was still so young he realized and she'd been through so much,

'Why are you sorry?' she settled into his arms.

'Because of what he did?'

'I don't understand,' she frowned and he hugged her tighter surprised at the burn of tears.

'God Jo, what he did was so, so, so wrong. You were a kid and he made you do something like that. He's a pedophile, you do get that right?'

'Maybe I'm a bad person too...' she shrunk away from him.

'How do you mean?'

'I didn't mind. In all honesty he gave me attention. He made me feel valued and like I wasn't just a delivery girl. He may have used threats but he also used love...'

'Aww god Jo. That's what they do...that's why they call it grooming. You needed affection and he gave it to you at a heavy price and in an illegal and disgusting way. You were a kid. A little kid.'

'As I got older he got me to sell more. He tried to get me to take the drugs as well, become a user, but I refused. When my dad got arrested he backed down. He left me alone. I think it was because my dad didn't squeal. Whatever. You see _I_ went to him for help. I said I would only do small stuff. Just enough to earn me the money to buy food.'

'You should get him arrested Joey. You should.'

'It's never that simple,' she sighed.

'Why is he outside your school? Outside work?'

'He gave me money and drugs. The money was an advance because he said he could trust me. When I was busted they took both.'

'He thinks you owe him,' Pacey held her even tighter, relieved when she relaxed into his hold her head pressed to his chest.

'I just want him to see that I can't do anything. I want to protect myself.'

'And a baby would do that?' he remembered how this conversation started.

'If I'm with you, if we have a baby and are together how could he expect me to help? You're a cop and he'd have to know...it would be too risky.'

'But you're with me with or without a baby...'

'Maybe I feel like a baby would give me something as well,' she admitted, 'Baby's are wholesome and innocent and untarnished and it would make me feel that way. It would love me and I'd love it and it would be unconditional and wonderful. It would be part of you and part of me all mixed together. And I do love you Pacey, I do. It's all jumbled up in me sometimes and I find it so hard to let it be what it is. I want you forever but everyone leaves me. If I had your baby you wouldn't leave. And if you did I'd still have your baby.'

'I'm not planning on leaving you,' he reassured because he wasn't. They were together and she was still in possession of him. He thought about her nearly all the time and he desperately wanted her happiness. He felt best when they were together, whether they were having sex or sitting together talking. Even lying in the sun by the creek with her at his side made him feel blissfully happy.

'But that will change. Guys get bored. They...'

'They fall in love. And yeah, occasionally a relationship takes a little more work. I think you're worth it. You're worth it to me. I love you. I don't know what it is about you but you just drive me crazy. Everything about you. Yes you're beautiful but it's the other little things. How you look when you're sleeping, that expression on your face when you're doing art work. The way you won't take crap from anyone but still have this vulnerability. You make me laugh with your silly jokes and your witty banter. I love you. That means I'm not going anywhere.'

'I've never known anyone like you. You wear your heart on your sleeve seemingly without fear. There's so much potential for hurt in this relationship and yet you stride forward without even a wobble.'

'All I want is for you to be happy. That makes life very simple.'

'How?'

'I can wear my heart on my sleeve because I know this may all go wrong, but so long as you're happy, my heart can be broken but it'll be ok. This...being with you, it blows me away. I never expected to feel like this. The fact that you want me back, that I get this...I just...you're not the only one who is used to people leaving them.'

'So what do I do? This guy wants his money. He wants me to work it off.'

'You spoke to him?' Pacey was outraged.

'He was outside my school!' she defended. 'What was I supposed to do?'

'Ignore him,' Pacey yelled.

'Don't shout. You'll wake Alex.'

'Why didn't you ignore him?' Pacey hissed.

'Because he was staring at me. I needed to know. I can't deal with it if I don't know.'

'Well now you fucking know. I still don't get how he even knew where to find you?' Pacey glowered, feeling like things were spiralling out of control. 'And why you didn't tell me before?'

'We were fucking before,' she pulled her tshirt over her bent knees and wrapped her arms tightly around them.

'Don't be pedantic,' he rolled his eyes.

'Fine. He knew where to find me because of that kid. I told you about the kid. The kid I sold to. That's how he found me. The reason I didn't tell you is because I was scared and I didn't know he'd keep coming back. I was scared about what you'd think of me. I saw your face when I told you I sucked him off. You were disgusted and I was scared of putting that look on your face. You're the first person I've ever met who has looked at me like I might be worth more than a quick fuck. You've always looked at me like I'm something special and when I told you I saw on your face the expression I see on everyone else's. Is it so hard to understand that I might not want that to happen? The way you've always looked at me...it made me feel like maybe I could escape this life I was born into. You remember that day...when Alex and I were kicked out of Munchies...when we were freezing to death...'

'I remember that day. You said you'd never escape.'

'And I believed that until you...until you loved me,' she whispered, pressing her face into her knees.

'I was disgusted with him not you,' he told her the truth and she looked up, her eyes questioning. 'Jo you were a virgin and I've slept with a fair few girls. Are you disgusted with me?'

'No I'm jealous and possessive,' she admitted. 'You're mine,' she stared at him.

'Well ditto. Joey, you have a past. I knew that. Just like you knew I had a past. I just...I know at times you've felt that you've used sex to get what you need, but I just...what he did was really, really wrong. I can deal with you taking advantage of men but really...really I think they were all just taking advantage of you. You were so young and vulnerable and no one should _have_ to do what you did to be safe, to be warm, to be fed. You should do it because you want to.'

'But that's the trap. I was so starved of affection I wanted to because it pleased him, and pleasing him made it feel like love.'

'I can understand that,' he admitted and she threw herself at him, wrapping arms and legs around him.

'You see that's why I love you. You understand that and don't think badly of me...'

'I think badly of him for abusing a child.'

'And you see with you I can enjoy sex because I know that you want to make it nice for me. I also really want to be close to you. It's almost not about the sex but being as close as humanly possible. I mean I love the sex, it feels so good, but I think part of that is because it's with you and despite how we met it doesn't feel like you have power over me.'

'I'm mere putty in your hands,' he gave a small shrug, 'I mean I'd do anything for you. Anything.'

'Except a baby,' she smirked and he chuckled,

'If you really wanted my baby I'm pretty sure that I'd be ok with that. If it's because you're scared then no. We'll deal with the issue together, ok?'

'How?' she asked simply and he frowned,

'I guess we try to scare him off first. I'll collect you from work tomorrow and school when you start back. In the squad car, in uniform. I'll bring Jack along. Let's let the guy think you're immersed in cops. Then if he questions you on it say they granted custody of Alex to a cop and that cop offered to let you stay. Say I'm your boyfriend and possessive. Say I'm suspicious. I can be the jealous boyfriend. I can storm over and ask why he's staring at my girlfriend. Whatever you think will work.'

'And if none of that works?'

'We find some way to arrest him without using you. And we do it.'

'Ok,' she nodded, 'he can't ever be suspicious, not ever.'

'Oh he won't sweetheart, he won't,' Pacey reassured.

'Thank you Pacey.'


	16. Chapter 16

**This chapter is not so long but my motivation is failing. Please review and feedback. Reviews dropped off on the last chapter and I can't help but read into that, thinking people didn't like it. I'm clearly a needy soul. I apologize for that! I don't mind if reviews are negative so long as they are constructive! It's just nice to know people are reading! Thank you to those who did review. I appreciate it.**

 **Chapter 16**

Pacey pulled up to the curb under the shade of an old oak tree. He was outside the library and could spot the guy Joey had spoken of easily. Somewhere in his head he thought the guy was called Darren. He remembered her mentioning the name sometime just after her arrest, he'd been so mad back then but over the course of the last twenty four hours the name had become so prominent in his brain he was sure it was correct. The guy was sat in a black Jetta, windows down, cap on his head. He was older than Pacey had imagined and it made him feel sick to his stomach. The guy was so obviously casing out the library and even though he had aviator shades on it was obvious that he was well aware of Pacey and Jack in their squad car. He was parked up opposite the library so he and Pacey were pretty much facing one another. Jack looked to the library doors,

'Black Jetta?'

'That's what I would say,' Pacey agreed.

'Running the plates,' Jack acknowledged as Pacey took a large slurp of his soda and opened up his subway sandwich acting as though he and Jack had just pulled up for dinner in the shade.

'Laugh like I said something funny,' Pacey said.

'You know what's funny, those plates are for a mini and that ain't no mini,' Jack said with a laugh,

'Ha,' Pacey let out a fake laugh, 'well we can get him on that.'

'Play the long game Pace, the long game.'

'I want a picture of this guy, think you can manage it?'

'Sure. When you go do the big "love in" with Joey, I'll snap a few. If this is the guy he'll be distracted at that.'

'Awesome.'

'He's not obvious, obvious,' Jack admitted.

'I suppose he might just be waiting for his wife inside,' Pacey shrugged. 'But he has fake plates and I have a feeling. He looks like an asshole.'

'Yep,' Jack agreed. 'There's your girl.'

Pacey looked to the library entrance and as always his heart thudded a little harder at the sight of her. She was wearing some strappy, floor length cotton dress, her hair up in a high bun. She had on all her dark makeup and big hoop earrings. She looked scary and gorgeous all in one go. Pacey wished he could find some dark, secluded area of the local area and press her up against the wall. Putting his drink on the dash and his sandwich beside him he jumped out the car and jogged to her,

'Jo, Joey,' he called her name and her scowl morphed into a bright, bright smile and then she was in his arms, her mouth beneath his, opening up in warm invitation. He momentarily forgot why he was there and revelled in being connected with her once again. She smelt of strawberries, cocoanuts and maybe a hint of vanilla, and her skin was soft and cool despite the heat outside. Her arms entwined behind his neck, holding him in place.

'You came to pick me up,' she said as if there had been some doubt as to whether he'd show or not. He wasn't offended because she was used to the people in her life not following through on promises.

'Guy in the black car across the street,' he whispered in her ear and nipped the lobe of her ear, loving the way she squirmed as she breathed the word,

'Yes.'

'I love this dress,' he admitted even though he glanced surreptitiously at the man in the car, his shades allowing him to do so without being noticed. The man was staring at them blatantly, his face a cross between shocked and pissed.

'Then I'll keep it on later,' she told him, her voice soft and secretive though he knew her well enough to discern an edge that wasn't there normally, that was undoubtably thanks to the man, her abuser, watching her every move.

'I love you Jo,' he whispered in her ear because it felt like it was the right moment for her to hear and know that.

'Hey, you guys ever gonna make it to the car?' Jack sauntered up looking relaxed.

'Yeah, yeah,' Pacey wrapped an arm around Joey and tugged her tight against his side.

'Got it,' Jack gave Pacey the look.

'Shall we leave it at this today?' Pacey whispered the words into Joey's ear under the guise of a kiss.

'Yes,' she kissed his cheek. 'I want to go now.'

'Come on then frauline. Let's get you home,' he pressed a kiss to her hair and glanced out the corner of his eye as the guy started his car and pulled away.

'Pacey,' she said his name and it held everything in it, and so he turned and hugged her, her head resting against his chest.

'It'll be alright. If he's back at school tomorrow, Tuesday I'll pick you up there. I spoke to Doug and he's all for Jack and I digging around a little. We'll see if we can't get something on this classmate of yours. We're gonna run this jerks face through the police mug shots and we'll make a plan.'

'Thank you,' she turned her head. 'Errr, Pace,' her voice was different this time, lighter, amused even.

'What's up?'

'The old and young dears are watching,' she explained. She'd labelled the entire library staff the young and old dears. He turned his head and chuckled into her hair at the sight of five faces at the glass. 'I think they think your arresting me,' she stated.

'Can't have that,' he whispered and claimed her lips in an entirely too passionate for the surroundings kiss.

* * *

'What is it this time?' Pacey slumped into the chair opposite his brother.

'Ladies at the library.'

'Joey was worried they thought I was arresting her. And in my defence she looked entirely scrumptious that day.'

'You think she looks entirely scrumptious everyday,' Doug rolled his eyes.

'And she does, she does,' Pacey nodded with a grin at his brother who reluctantly smiled back. 'What did the " _dears_ " have to say?'

'Concerned that we weren't aware one of our officers was fraternizing with an ex-con.'

'And of course you're entirely aware,' Pacey rested his hands on his knees, 'so no problem here right?'

'Be careful about rubbing it in people's faces,' Doug urged.

'It was mostly for the sake of Darren Sullivan.'

'Why was I not surprised to hear that name?' Doug muttered. The name was well known, the guy proving elusive despite the knowledge that he was breaking the law. Despite his nefarious links it had always been impossible to charge him with anything. 'And I know why you did it,' Doug nodded. 'Anything new to report on that?'

'You've read what Jack and I wrote,' Pacey stated but his brother just frowned,

'And I want to hear it from you.'

'This guy is crooked Doug and he's dangerous. There's no one willing to testify against him. Seems he organized the arson of the Potter's old diner, remember a few years back. There were all these links but some kid went down for it. Willingly.'

'And his connection to Mike Potter?'

'Was the best man at his wedding. They went to high school together.'

'And Mike didn't want to shop his old friend in? Even if it might have reduced his sentence?'

'There were about ten witnesses to Mike killing that man, he was going down whatever he did. I guess he bought loyalty.'

'Loyalty,' Doug looked like he'd taken a bit of something bad. 'Seems like he left his kids to the vultures.'

'Something like that.'

'Hmmm,' Doug sat back, clearly thinking on the situation. 'We want to get this guy without putting your girlfriend in danger.'

'Anyone in danger.'

'And yet this guy always comes off looking squeaky clean.'

'Seems that there's two people who know this guy personally. Joey and this kid...Charlie Todd at Joey's school.'

'So we need to find the connection there,' Doug stated.

'Jack and I are already on it. Everything this guy achieves comes through others. We all know this guys behind a lot of the crime in Capeside and into Boston, but the guys not stupid and he keeps his nose clean.'

'We could use Joey. Send her undercover, but make sure he never finds out. Make sure there's enough other people to testify.'

'She'd have to testify, you know that,' Pacey felt anger bubble up inside of him.

'But she could be the surly teen. Unwilling. Apparently unaware that she's incriminating him.'

'No Doug, just no.'

'You know to get this guy off the street she may have to be involved.'

'I promised her,' Pacey stated.

'And you should have known better.'

* * *

'Hey baby,' Pacey slid into his bed beside Joey. He'd been on an afternoon shift and was surprised to find the house silent when he returned home at midnight - Joey would normally wait up for him. After checking in on Alex he'd gone through the shower, thrilled to find Joey in his bed. Despite the fact that she must have been tired to go to bed without him, he pulled her against his naked form and slid a hand up the tank she slept in.

'Mm, Pace,' she murmured in her sleepiness and he loved it. Not just the implied love in her tone, but all of it - coming home to her, coming home to her in his bed, everything about her. He grew harder as her ass shifted against him, and felt the crawl of desire urge him to push down her panties.

'Jo, you awake?' he urged softly, his hand trailing out from under her tank and to the front of her underwear, dipping his fingers to press at the centre and rubbing his thumb in circles.

'Awake enough,' she sighed and pushed at her bottoms before angling herself against him just enough to allow him access.

'You're so gorgeous,' he moaned as he rubbed against her before pushing inside of her and groaning loudly in satisfaction at the feeling of her all around him. His lips found the smooth slope of her shoulder and he bit down slightly, his hips moving steadily, his thumb against the naked juncture of her thighs, rubbing persistently as he felt himself moving in and out of her. It was such a turn on he could feel his body beginning to tighten quickly. His day had been long and it felt fantastic to let all that go by pushing in and out of his girlfriend's beautiful body.

'Pacey,' his name on her lips, said in breathy tones was the tell of her orgasm, of her body flooding with waves of pleasure that had her scratching at him with her nails. 'Fuck,' she cursed as she slammed her ass back against him and clawed at his hand that was between her legs. All at once he knew he was going to come and he wasn't wearing a condom,

'Joey,' he groaned her name and slid out of her as he came, his whole body shaking as he shot come all over her. 'Oh god I'm sorry,' he pressed warm kisses to her neck, 'though that's really hot,' he smiled as she turned to face him, her lips meeting his in a warm kiss. 'It's nice to see you.'

'It's nice to see you too,' she gave him a really big smile. 'How was work?'

'Meh. You?'

'I had lots of questions about my police man friend. They kept trying to ascertain how we met,' she grinned. 'This one girl, Andie. She's such a goody, goody. I mean she seems sweet enough, a little full on, but she had so many questions. Never ending.'

'Which I'm assuming you didn't answer?'

'I said you're my boyfriend. My hot, delicious, uniform wearing boyfriend.'

'Glad you didn't exaggerate,' he mused and she giggled,

'Not at all. I under exaggerated if anything...'

'Really?' he smirked in the semi darkness.

'Hmmm, I didn't go into detail about how kind, sweet and sexy you are. Or about how wonderful you are at making me feel really, _really_ good.'

'Well the really, _really_ good thing is mutual,' he pressed a lingering kiss to her lips. 'Any sign of Darren?'

'Nope,' she grinned widely. 'I'm hoping you scared him off.'

Pacey didn't say anything but he couldn't help but feel that if there were money and pride involved then a person like Darren Sullivan would most certainly be back.

'I love you,' he breathed into her warm neck as she turned in his arms, allowing him to snuggled up behind her.


	17. Chapter 17

**Hi All,**

 **Sorry this has taken so long. I can't actually believe I'm posting it as I moved house TODAY and mostly unpacked. I'm exhausted but I had this finished and as you were all so amazing with reviewing the last chapter (after I was so needy) that I wanted to get it up! Thank you for the reviews! They made my week. Enjoy this chapter - let me know what you think. It's a scene setting one. Important but nothing much happens lol.**

 **Tab x**

 **Chapter Seventeen**

'So where's Joey?' Gretchen frowned as she dropped into the seat next to Pacey and pulled Alex from his arms, rubbing her face against his belly to make him laugh. It was Saturday and all the Witter siblings were assembled except for Anna, and with Jack along. It was their moms birthday, and they'd been called to assemble, even though the guest of honour was "lying down."

'Oh she's at work?'

'Funny how you never make it to dinner at the folks when she's not working,' Gretchen stated pointedly.

'He's chicken,' Doug informed her slumping into the other seat beside his little brother, and taking Alex from her, proceeding to bounce him up high in his arms.

'Took you long enough to bring Jack home.'

'Mom and dad love Jack,' Doug shrugged easily.

'They've known me since I was a kid - I'm your brothers best friend,' Jack pointed out.

'They've always loved him better than me,' Pacey dismissed kissing Alex's head as the kid threw himself back into his arms.

'That is true,' Doug agreed, as Jack took Alex from Pacey and bounced him in his knee whilst mouthing the "horsey horsey" song.

'So it's not that you're scared of dad's reaction?' Gretchen smirked.

'Of course he's scared of dads reaction - we all are.'

'Scared for Joey, not dad,' Pacey clarified.

'I _think_ your girlfriend can hold her own,' Gretchen snickered.

'I know she can but dad can be a total d.i.c.k.'

'We all know that,' Gretchen muttered, 'but I for one think it'll hurt your girlfriend's feelings if you keep excluding her.'

'She doesn't know I exclude her because I don't tell her,' Pacey informed them.

'Way to go on the maturity front little brother,' Doug patted him on the back, each pat echoing with sarcasm.

'Yes, lying to your girlfriend is a really great way to keep her as your girlfriend,' Gretchen poked him in the ribs.

'Pacey's just worried that dad will scare her away,' Kerry put in astutely.

'Give her more credit,' Jack rolled his eyes. 'I wasn't scared away.'

'That's because pop loves your boyfriend and he loves you,' Pacey explained.

'As opposed to you?' Doug asked.

'Yes as opposed to me. Dad isn't my biggest fan and that man is predisposed to looking negatively on everything I do. I don't want Joey any more aware of my shortcomings than she already is. It's obvious to me that I'm far more in love with her than she ever could be with me.'

'Yet again, don't underestimate your girlfriend Pace,' Jack told him again, clearly indicating that she was more in love with him than Pacey was admitting.

'Combine my insecurities with hers and you've got a pity party and a self deprecation disco all in one go. Dad is great at picking at people's insecurities.'

'She ask much about them?'

'I told her all about dad. About how we interact - or barely interact.'

'I don't think she's all too concerned about your dad. She knows crappy fathers,' Jack stated.

'What did you say her dad did again?' Gretchen asked.

'Killed a guy. A family man. He's got life.'

'What about her mom?' Gretchen frowned.

'Killed herself,' Jack said with an unhappy shrug.

'Maybe she'd like mom and dad,' Kerry ventured and all four of the others turned to stare at her,

'Like our borderline abusive parents?' Gretchen asked with narrowed eyes.

'Well they beat hers. I mean they are at least around. And they care. Poorly at times but they do care.'

'They're disinterested, not abusive anyway,' Doug agreed but Pacey shot him a scathing look,

'I beg to disagree. I think calling your son a loser repeatedly, showing next to know interest except to be negative...well I think that's abuse. Nothing like Joey suffered but you know there's ranges to everything.'

'Can we please not have another debate about this?' Kerry asked, slumping tiredly to the couch.

'It's fine, it's fine. You know what you're all right. I am a chicken. I'm scared about what dad will say about Joey and to her. I'm worried because I don't want to hear it and I don't want her to hear it.'

'That I can relate to,' Doug agreed reluctantly. 'Maybe start off slow. You guys could have Jack and I over for dinner. Maybe get her spending more time with the rest of us so she knows she has back up? And bring her over here when we'll all be here?'

'Now that is a great idea,' Pacey agreed.

'You guys made any progress on getting that guy behind bars?' Gretchen leaned forward with interest.

'Nope,' Jack frowned. 'You put his picture up at the daycare right?' he looked to Kerry.

'Right,' Kerry nodded.

'We can't find a connection between him and this kid in Joey's class but we know there is one.'

'Maybe he's friends with the kids parents like he was with Joey's dad?' Gretchen suggested.

'It's impossible to get anything without giving the game away,' Jack muttered.

'So give the game away,' Gretchen stated bluntly. 'You need to haul the kid in for questioning you do it.'

'Based on what?' Doug gave her a look.

'I don't know. A parking ticket, an anonymous tip off. You search any of those art school kids and they have drugs on them,' she shrugged.

'Hey,' Pacey protested, 'stereotype much?'

'Hey, girlfriend is an ex con who was in jail for drug dealing,' Gretchen shot back and so Pacey reached over and mussed Gretchen's hair.

'Who's an ex con now?' John Witter had the same ability as his eldest son to time his appearance perfectly.

'Uh, this kid, this link to a case,' Jack smiled in what Pacey knew was his engaging manner.

'This the kid you were fooling about trying to help?' John looked at Pacey who rolled his eyes,

'Same one pop.'

'And she went down? How long she get?'

'A year,' Doug informed his father tightly. 'But she was released after three months for good behaviour.'

'Three months?' John dropped into his chair, 'that's the problem with America. The punishments are too lenient so the criminals just keep committing crimes.'

'She hasn't recommitted,' Pacey glared at his father.

'Well it's not like she'd tell you,' John began to laugh, 'you're a cop.'

'I know she hasn't,' Pacey stated yet again.

'I saw her file Pacey. That pretty face with that ugly an expression, the way she's always dressed in those pictures - that girl will be behind bars before you know it.'

'You don't always know what you're talking about,' Pacey said into the tense silence.

'Look, the baby is sweet. You wanna be a dad to some drug family's baby, you go right ahead. He seems to be mostly normal, but the others...they've been in it too long. You can't save everyone.'

'Alex is entirely normal,' Pacey spat, 'and Joey has merely had it tough. She's a good person.'

'A good person?' John laughed like Pacey had just told an enormously funny joke.

'She's living with me you know? As my girlfriend.'

'That's the thing about you Pacey, you can't separate anything from sex. You always fall in love with the wrong people. Any fool could tell you that she's about the worst person you could fall for! I bet your brother did! But you and that stupid hero complex - gotta try and screw and save them.'

'This is ridiculous. Do we really have to have this argument again?'

'Apparently it never sinks in,' John muttered caustically as he slumped into his chair. 'Always thinking with your dick.'

'Fuck off,' Pacey glowered.

'Pace, chill out,' Doug urged.

'So you agree with him?' Pacey spun to face Doug, unable to keep the hurt from his face.

'I don't think you'd have done everything you have if she wasn't beautiful,' he said carefully.

'That's bullshit,' Pacey declared feeling the sting of a truth he didn't want to face.

'You're a good person Pacey. I think you'd have helped but you wouldn't be living with her, having her in your bed every night,' Doug shrugged.

'You're right, fine,' Pacey was increasingly exasperated, 'I think she's beautiful. In fact I don't just think she's beautiful, I think she's the kind of beautiful that gives you butterflies. Thing is, she's also got this amazing personality. You both,' he pointed to his father and brother, 'see a criminal record, a list of things done wrong, but she isn't just that person. She's been crushed, just crushed, by this life, and yet she's stronger than I think anyone in this room would be.' He stopped talking and looked at the ground, unwilling to face them. 'Come on buddy, let's head to the library and choose some books. See your aunty,' he bent and scooped up Alex, hoisting the child into his hip and grabbing the bag with diapers and food in it.

'It's your mother's birthday...'

* * *

'Jo, Jo,' Alex broke free of his arms the second they were in the library and ran and grasped his aunty's bare legs, exposed by her awesome dress.

'Al,' she inserted the book in her hand into place and scooped him up, allowing him to wrap his pudgy arms around her neck.

'Books,' he announced, though it sounded more like boo, and struggled to get down. She put him on the floor and watched him toddle to the children's section and for the toys there.

'You've never come to see me at work before,' she smiled at Pacey and took his hand, before stepping up close and sniffing him.

'Are you sniffing me?' he teased.

'You smell good. Much better than musty books.'

'You love the smell of musty books,' he smiled,

'Well yeah,' she rolled her eyes.

'I had an argument with my dad,' he stated. 'I went there because it's my moms birthday.'

'You didn't invite me,' she observed.

'My dad's an ass and I try to protect you from horrible people,' he could feel his pout.

'Maybe I could protect you,' she suggested and so he kissed her, 'What was the fight about?' her brow pursed in concern.

'He was being mean about my girlfriend,' he told her, sidling in front of her as she reached up to shelve a book, effectively ensuring her body would press into his.

'Parents rarely love their son's girlfriends, and they especially don't like girlfriends like me,' she kissed his neck. 'What did he say?'

'That you'd end up back in jail,' he told her.

'Well that's just mean,' she pressed a kiss to his lips. She didn't sound offended, more amused which was a relief to him.

'He was mean,' he agreed pulling her closer.

'Huh hmm,' the polite cough sounded familiar. 'Joey, we'd prefer if you kept things more um...professional,' Andie stated looking prim and proper, essentially Joey's polar opposite.

'Sorry,' Joey shrugged sounding unapologetic.

'Pacey,' Andie eyed him up and down, her eyes flicking to his hand which was still on Joey's waist.

'Long time no see McPhee,' he smiled warmly.

'You know each other?' Joey looked between them.

'You could say that,' Andie offered tightly, clearly uncomfortable, as she stared at Pacey, her eyes flitting in Joey's direction periodically.

'Oh, you're that Andie, Pacey's ex-girlfriend Andie?' Joey stared between the two of them.

'That's me,' Andie rocked on her toes and widened her eyes.

'Right,' Joey arched her eyebrows and then narrowed her eyes at Pacey. 'I better get back to work,' she told him, and he could hear a siren going off in the back of his head as he realized he should have told Joey she'd be working with his ex.

'You really should because otherwise Debra will get annoyed. You know, no breaks on short shifts. And there are lots of books to shelve.'

'Ok,' Joey nodded curtly. 'Come say goodbye, kay?' she looked at him.

'Sure, sure,' he agreed, watching as she sashayed away, her ass looking absolutely delectable. Andie was clearly watching him,

'Well she's... _different_.'

'She sure is,' he chuckled, 'wonderful too.'

'Is it true she's an ex con?' Andie asked looking hurt. He hated that expression - it was one he was all too familiar with.

'Yep,' he answered shortly.

'And you're... _together_?' she asked it as though the notion of such a relationship was a foreign concept.

'Very much so. For nearly six months now.'

'Wow,' she stated, slightly huffy.

'I know, great isn't it?' he chose to misread her huff on purpose. Rather predictably she turned to glare at him,

'She isn't all bad, but really Pacey? Are you stupid? She's only ever going to hurt you? It's obvious she's using you, that whatever it is you're doing for her and her nephew...'

'She isn't using me. And I know Jack would never say she was, so that interpretation is all yours.'

'You think she loves you? A girl like that?'

'I know I love her,' he stated back, feeling pissed at having to defend his relationship and choices for a second time.

'Sometimes I really worry about you Pacey,' Andie squeaked, 'you make these stupid choices, again and again...'

'I don't consider breaking up with you to be a stupid choice,' he clarified softly.

'Because she's better than me?' Andie asked angrily, 'because she's not. I made a mistake...her whole life is a mistake.'

'I'm gonna pretend you didn't say that,' he hissed, breathing deeply and willing himself to calm down. 'Now I'm gonna go choose some books with my kid and I'll see you sometime when you remember it's no longer your place to make comment on my life, because it is _my life_.'

'I'm still your friend,' painfully hurt voice and large puppy dog eyes. He sighed,

'She's my girlfriend and I love her. I really, really love her.'

'There's no need to be hurtful,' she looked woefully wounded.

'We broke up years ago Andie. I wasn't aware my happiness caused you pain.'

'I thought we were supposed to be professional?' Joey appeared out of nowhere with her cart full of books. 'Because from where I am this looks like an awfully heated conversation between exes.'

'Like you'd understand an adult conversation about adult emotions,' Andie shrilled condescendingly.

'Bite me,' Joey snarled. 'You may wanna grab Al,' Joey nodded to where her nephew was attempting to climb onto a child seat.

'Sure, thanks Jo. I think we'll get out of here if you don't mind choosing Al a couple of books?'

'Sure,' she kissed him, but he grabbed her into a longer embrace.

'Love ya,' he breathed into the air between them, thrilled at the hazy look in her eyes.

'Mmmm,' she informed him and he chuckled, heading to garb Alex before disaster occurred.

'Dada,' Alex squealed happily but then began to cry when he real side Pacey wasn't going to encourage the game.

'Not dada, Pace,' he said though Alex had been calling him dada more and more. He wasn't even sure where the kid was getting it from. It was true that Jack called him dad with great amusement, and even Joey would comment on what a good dad he was. Except he wasn't the kids dad, a fact he was all to aware of. Sometimes at night his stomach would turn over with fear at the thought of Bodie's return.

'Dada,' Alex cried, belligerent to Pacey's correction.

'Ok, little man, let's get you home.'

* * *

'Hey, how was work?' Joey was sat perched on the couch, sketchpad in hand and her Elliott Smith album playing on the record player she'd brought down from her room. He took off his gun and locked it up,

'Ah, it was ok. How was the fourth day back at school?'

'The summer was great. Doing math and science again...not so great,' she shrugged.

'Whatcha drawing?' he dropped onto the couch beside her.

'I'm experimenting with oil pastels. Just rainbow patterns mostly,' she showed him the pad.

'Those would look awesome in frames on Al's wall.'

'You think?' she wrinkled her nose, and so he kissed her. He found her to be truly irresistible at times.

'I think.'

'Hmm, I can stop drawing and we can keep kissing,' she pushed the pad to one side and leaned across to kiss him again but he stopped her.

'I found out something about Charlie Todd today.'

'You did?' she sat back, no longer interested in kissing.

'His mom is an ex of Darren's. They went out together around the time he was born. Seems they were both arrested at some party. Darren's probably his father.'

'Do you think he knows that?' Joey frowned.

'I have no idea. But it strikes me as odd that he was buying from you if his dad was the drug King.'

'Maybe he was checking up on me. Maybe he was a plant. You know they like to check their dealers are clean, that they're not stealing, not charging more and keeping the excess.'

'Maybe...' Pacey wasn't sure. It was theoretically possible, but he felt like he was missing something.

'Charlie is a player,' Joey stated, 'very sure of himself. I mean he's really good looking so...'

' _Really good looking_?' he interrupted feeling a spike of jealousy.

'Don't be ridiculous,' she chided and gestured with her eyes to how she was sat half on his lap, their legs tangled, and her hand resting on his stomach through the buttons on his shirt.

'Sorry. You were saying?' he kissed her cheek and she smiled,

'I was just saying that there'll be a lot of girls who _know_ Charlie Todd. I mean Jen hooked up with him. Back when we were fifteen. Maybe one of them knows something. I could pretend to be interested at school, you know see if he's ever had anything longer term? There may be an ex who knows something.'

'It's a great idea but it feels risky. I mean what if it gets back to Charlie that you were asking? I mean if he's linked with Darren in such a close way then he knows that you're linked with me, with the cops. I'd rather keep you out of it.'

'You're very sexy when you're protective,' her hand slid lower and her voice dropped. His body jolted optimistically. 'New plan. This girl, Abby Morgan, she has a monumental crush on Charlie and is such a loud mouth. I'll find away to associate with her and see what I can discover. I won't let it get back to Charlie, I promise.'

'When you say associate, you mean, smile? Initiate conversation?' he was teasing, loving how she squirmed.

'I can't help it if I have unique personality quirks,' she shrugged, shifting herself onto his lap so one leg was on either side of his.

'Quirks?' he laughed.

'Hmmm, yeah, quirks. We can't all be full of sunshine like Andie,' she gave him a look.

'I thought you'd forgiven me for not telling you that you were working with an ex of mine.'

'I have,' she rocked against him and smirked, 'I haven't forgiven you for dating someone so painfully cheerful in the first place,' she teased and he laughed again,

'She went crazy,' he argued.

'I can see how you'd drive a girl crazy you know,' she began to unbutton his shirt.

'I can see how you drive me crazy,' his breathing was rapidly becoming ragged as her fingertips grazed his skin.

'I love making you crazy,' she agreed taking his hand in hers and pushing it up her skirt, dragging it to the apex of her thighs and lifting just enough so that he could not only tell she wasn't wearing underwear but so his fingers could slide inside of her.

'God...Jo...' he growled and pushed his fingers further into the wet warmth, loving how she rocked against them, her lips claiming his in a rough kiss, needy and fast as she pushed herself over the edge using his fingers inside of her. She stilled, her breathing coming fast,

'Your turn,' she sighed in her blissed out post orgasm voice. His favourite voice. He didn't need telling twice.


	18. Chapter 18

**Ok, so moving has apparently been really hard work and my productivity has nose dived. On the upside I have awesome muscles;-)**

 **Please, please cheer me up with some reviews and I'll try and have the next chapter done quicker. I'm in a mentally weird space so slightly unsure how this turned out... let me know what you think!**

 **Thank you as a,ways to those who review. I owe some people some PM'S - they will happen!**

 **Chapter 18**

'Oh my god, you have to be fucking kidding me,' the shrill tones of Abby Morgan reached the inside of the squad car and Joey rolled her eyes, looking surly as hell, and a little bit devious.

'This is going to be soo easy,' she told him, and then hooked an arm around the back of his neck and kissed him. It was a totally wanton kiss, that was in no way appropriate but he found it impossible to complain. He only vaguely heard Abby telling anyone that would listen that, "Joey Potter was making out with a cop."

'That aughta do it,' she smirked ending the kiss with short, soft kisses.

'Do what? Leave me with a raging hard on and unable to think about anything but you?' he asked, running his hand into her hair.

'Ha, no, I meant Abby Morgan will be all over me this morning. I can get the info we need. I'm sorry to leave you so perpetually aroused,' she narrowed her eyes in amusement.

'We could drive off to a secluded alley?' he suggested optimistically.

'Sorry baby but no,' she pressed her nose to his.

'Fickle mistress,' he chided and she laughed.

'I'll let you know how I get on,' she told him and hopped out of the car. The girl Pacey assumed was Abby Morgan, peered into the car at Pacey, letting out a low whistle,

'Well aren't you a uniform full of scrumptious,' she declared boldly,

'Hands off Morgan,' Joey warned.

'You managed to get a cop, you who's been to prison, have managed to get a cop? And a gorgeous one at that,' Abby sounded like she was half horrified while also being utterly awed. 'I think you're my hero. Are you dating or is this just messing around? Does he even know you're a deviant?' the questions continued, of that Pacey had no doubt, but the girls voice faded as Joey gave him a provocative wink and slammed the door - with a little too much force.

* * *

'Hey hot stuff,' Joey leaned against the desk at the front of the police station, all long legs, and leggings that clung to everything. Her lips were a sultry red and her hair was a mass of waves that fell down her back over the floaty top she was wearing. Pacey knew Joey's style was something a bit different, that guys and girls looked at her and old ladies judged her, but he thought she looked gorgeous, and entirely sexy.

'Wanna come out back? See my desk?'

'Wow, you have your own desk?' she put on a false overly impressed tone. 'Sure,' she spun on the balls of her feet and leant her back against the counter waiting for him to come from behind it. He took her hand and led her through to the back and to his desk, ignoring the looks of the other officers and the narrowing of eyes at his hand holding hers. One of the old officers coughed pointedly but Pacey ignored it, because Joey had perched her fine ass in his desk and was looking up at him.

'Hey,' she reached up and ran her fingers through his hair.

'Hey,' he wished they were in a room less crowded, and found himself leaning between her legs,

'So my plan worked,' she looked up at him from under ridiculously long lashes. He could have sworn they'd got longer as he stared at them.

'Hmmm,' his head wasn't on the case.

'Pace, head out of the gutter,' she tutted but nudged him a little closer with her heel, undermining her words.

'What did that _delightful_ girl have to say?'

'Charlie has had one serious girlfriend and when they broke up he dealt with his heartache with a string of one night stands.'

'You get a name?'

'Yep,' she pursed her lips and then smiled. 'It's either gonna work in your favour or it's gonna backfire entirely.'

'Ok?' he frowned.

'Nikki Green.'

'Should I know that name?'

'Well her dads a cop,' Joey shrugged and Pacey felt his jaw drop as he turned to look at Howard Green, his friend and mentor.

'Well fuck,' he sat on the desk next to her.

'Nikki is a nice girl,' Joey stated and Pacey turned to stare at her.

'You're openly stating someone is nice?'

'Shut up,' Joey elbowed him. 'She's got personality,' she admitted and he chuckled,

'So you get the deets on why she dumped him?'

'Abby Morgan speculates drugs.'

'Surprise, surprise,' he shifted his hand so it covered hers.

'She talks a lot,' Joey muttered.

'Really?' he grinned, entirely unsurprised.

'She thought you were gorgeous,' Joey looked at him.

'I am, I am. It's been hard but I've learned to cope,' he stated grandly only to feel her elbow back in his ribs again.

'She said Nikki used to spend lots of time around at Charlie's. Rumour has it his dad has a nice place.'

'Think you could befriend this Nikki without arousing too much suspicion? Or is Abby your new bestie?'

'Hardly. Abby prefers bitching to being besties. I was cool for a nano second because of prison and a cop boyfriend, but no, she'll be onto torturing someone new tomorrow.'

'So Nikki or no?'

'I could just date Charlie. He told me to ditch you and go out with him,' she shrugged casually and his heart pounded because he couldn't tell whether she was joking or seriously suggesting she go into the lions den.

'I thought he was the one who stuck you in it originally?' he tried to be calm but failed, 'and no way, not gonna happen. You're not going anywhere near that son of a bitches house.'

'While I don't think Charlie would turn down an opportunity to screw me, I think it was a casual ploy to get me re involved. You don't know what he's like. He thinks he's so cute, and for most girls I guess he is.'

'But you're immune?' he knew he was being childish and jealous but she just laughed and turned around so she was leaning against him, her floaty top getting caught against his uniform so when he put a hand to her back he touched bare skin,

'I'm immune,' she confirmed. 'I think Darren saw you and Jack and he's trying a new angle. He's gonna try and bring me back into the fold.'

'So what did you say?' Pacey felt very unwell at the whole thought.

'I said my cop boyfriend wouldn't like me dumping him and I didn't wanna get kicked out of home. I played up my insecurity.'

'Well done,' he kissed her forehead.

'I'll see what I can do with Nikki and if it doesn't work I should go out with Charlie.'

'No.'

'Yes,' she insisted.

'No,' he lifted her out the way and fidgeted with the stuff on his desk, 'just no.'

'You said I should put this guy in jail and now I can,' she insisted her voice deepening with her frustration,

'I didn't think you'd actively put yourself in danger. You said to me he can never find out it was you. Your words because you said it would put you in danger. You and Alex.'

'Don't bring up Alex. I want this to be over Pacey, can't you understand that? I would never, ever put Alex in danger but this guy needs to go. He has to. Don't you understand? You can't be in debt to these people. Not for anything.'

'And how would you protect yourself? Protect Alex?'

'I'd go to prison too,' she stuck out her chin defiantly.

'You'd go to prison?' he scoffed, 'you'd go to _prison_?'

'How about you both _go_ into my office?' Doug appeared out of nowhere.

* * *

Doug was sat at his desk, leaning back in his chair and making an irritating bobbing motion as his eyes flicked between the two of them, sat in silence in the chairs opposite him.

'You were arguing rather loudly,' he stated at length.

'About the case,' Pacey burst out and Doug's eyes narrowed.

'I had Pedinski running in here to tell me that my brother had brought a...' Doug trailed off.

'A?' Joey asked pointedly,

'That my brother had made an arrest and was making out with the con and that he was worried the con was mad.'

'It's not our fault what your stupid cops think of me,' Joey pointed out.

'Oh I agree.'

'So why say it?'

'Just starting the conversation,' Doug said and Joey rolled her eyes,

'Or suggesting I dress provocatively. You trailed off there to allow the insinuation of any number of words... hooker, tramp, stripper, I imagine Pedinski didn't say "con" but I don't really care.'

'In all honesty I don't care what Pedinski thinks either, the point is you were making a scene. I don't like it when my officers make a scene.'

'We were discussing the case,' Pacey told him coldly.

'And?'

'And your dumb ass brother won't let me solve it all simply.'

'Simply how?' Doug leaned forward clearly interested.

'Charlie Todd asked me out. I hang out with Charlie and I get to his dad's. Darren and I have blunt words which I record because I'll be wearing a wire and boom, you have him,' she stared at Doug, and Pacey was surprised at how loudly his heart could pound. He hated every single bit of a plan like that. Doug leant even further back in his chair, so far indeed that it surprised Pacey every time that he didn't fall.

'Hmmm. And Pacey's always said you're concerned about the repercussions of such a ploy?'

'I am. I want Alex safe and I'm sure he will be with Pacey.'

'What about you?' Doug sat up and appraised Joey closely.

'I have a solution to that. Pacey, he storms in like a jealous ex, or boyfriend or whatever. I'll tell Charlie I'm keeping things going with Pacey so I have somewhere to live. Pacey can storm in when I find evidence and he can claim he followed me. He can arrest them in the process of an exchange or whatever, you'll have all the evidence I've found but Pacey will find it.'

'Guy like that will have security,' Doug pointed out.

'You're the cops - you work out how Pacey can manage to storm in safely, and interrupt a deal. I'll just ensure one happens. I'm the only one Darren ever had face to face dealings with. And I owe him.'

'You'll be incriminated,' Doug pointed out.

'And I'll go to prison,' she nodded.

'You'd be willing to go to prison?'

'To see that man go to prison? Yes.'

'I get that he's a bad guy but prison is a hefty price to pay,' Doug was clearly thinking it over.

'Prison is protection in this instance. From reprisal. And that man needs to go away. He's an abuser and he's one of the most awful men on earth. My dad's serving life for being a drug dealing dick and for murder. That man is responsible for many more deaths, he's ultimately behind the guy my dad killed. He's used me for as long as I've been alive and now he's trying to scare and manipulate me yet again. I want him gone from my life. I don't want him existing in this town during Alex's life either.'

'Used you how?' Doug asked and Joey's eyes narrowed.

'I'm sure you can imagine,' she answered with bitterness.

'I can,' he leant back in his chair, his face a pensive mask.

'You can't be seriously considering this? I mean the danger to Joey is crazy. Not to mention that she has to let this creeps son think she's into him which might involve...fuck, no,' Pacey looked between his brother and his girlfriend with wide panicked eyes. 'You guys are crazy. This is the most stupid plan in the history of stupid plans...'

'You could do it? What Pacey says? Convince Charlie that you're into him?' Doug asked and Pacey felt weak, this jittery feeling inside like the world was closing in on him. He was scared because he didn't think he could let her do it. His jealousy would be all too real, already was. The thought of her lips on another guy was abhorrent.

'I've done worse because I had to,' she replied and he felt like he burst.

'I can't do it. I can't,' he shouted.

'It would be awful, it really would Pace. Especially making it convincing,' she took his hand, but if it meant freedom God...'

'Freedom?' he scoffed, 'you'd be in prison.'

'But I'd be free from this fear, fear that he's going to take over my life yet again. I hate him. I hate him so, so much and I just...'

'No,' Pacey stated loudly and then took her hand, 'look, I hate you being scared sweetheart, I do. I hate that he's out there after the things he made you do...that man deserves to rot in jail but I love you...the thought of you with another guy,' he closed his eyes for a second, 'I just don't think I could cope.'

'Let's take some time and think about it,' Doug stated and Pacey felt suspicious because his brother was staring at Joey, clearly thinking on it all right then.

'She knows who Charlie's girlfriend was, the one who dumped him and sent him on his chain banging mission. They go to school. It makes more sense for Joey to talk to her.'

'Hmmm,' Doug didn't say more, his brain clearly whirring. 'This guy is he powerhouse behind lots of problems in this town and Boston. He deserves prison for what he did to you but his damage isn't limited to that. We need to get that bastard off the streets.'

'But not by using Joey. Surely not?' he felt like he was having a panic attack because it was playing into all his fears - that she's end up back in prison, that Darren would get his dirty hands on her, that another guy would kiss her. It was everything he wanted to protect her from. He looked at Joey who was staring at his brother, then her head turned to him,

'Pace, if you really don't want me to do this then I won't,' she said simply and he felt so relieved he could have cried.

'Really?'

'Really,' she said simply.

'Thank you, thank you, you'll see, I bet we find something from Nikki Green. We'll still get him.'

'We will, I know,' she nodded and stood. 'I should go home, get my homework done.'

'Yes of course, sure,' he stood with her. 'You ok to collect Alex from daycare?'

'Of course,' she nodded as they walked out past the staring officers, Pacey snatching hold of her hand and entwining his fingers with hers. He walked her all the way out of the station and then pulled her close claiming her lips with his.

'I love you,' he whispered into the kiss.

'Stop worrying,' she told him, pressing a hand to his chest.

'I find that very hard right now.'

'I won't do anything stupid, ok?'

'You promise?' he asked and she nodded.

'Yes.'

'Ok. Because I love you.'

'I know,' she agree and not for the first time Pacey wished Joey was freer with her emotions, that she would say what she felt even if it wasn't what he wanted to hear.

'You wanna, maybe, I don't know, tell me something, because sometimes the guy needs to hear it too...'

'I love you,' she looked down, 'you know that,' she looked up at him and he thought that had to be his favourite thing that she ever did - look down shyly and then look up at him from under her lashes. It made him both want her and love her wildly. 'I really do,' she said and he couldn't help but smile,

'Thanks, I need to hear that sometimes,' he held her close to his chest.

'You know how I feel,' her voice was muffled from where he held her.

'Half the time I have no idea how you feel. You're a bit of a wild card Potter.'

'You like me that way,' she looked back up at him and he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear,

'That I do.'

* * *

'Jo,' he shook her shoulder, 'are you awake?' He watched her rub her eyes,

'It's two in the morning. I wasn't,' she scowled but then grabbed his tie and tugged him towards the bed and her. 'Hmmm, you look all officious,' she somehow managed to hook her legs behind his back and pull him so he was lying entangled with a naked her and the sheet they had on the bed due to the heat of the Indian summer.

'Today was crappy,' he told her and her face softened as she trailed kisses along his jaw,

'What happened?'

'Some idiot decided to decapitate a bunch of cats.'

'What?' her amorous mood collapsed.

'I know,' he hovered above her using his elbows to keep the entirety of his weight off of her. 'I know he was not quite right emotionally, but seriously.'

'Did he say why?'

'Nope. No reason. I think because he could. His uncle gave him a hunting knife and he thought he'd practice.'

'Oh my poor baby. I bet you wish you were _not quite_ arresting me for stuff again,' she rubbed his skull with her cool fingers.

'Actually this is perfect. Coming home to you,' he rolled off of her to one side. 'I should go change.'

'Let me help,' she reached for him and just like always they ended up kissing, her hands moving to his belt until he was naked enough to thrust forward and into her, until he was fucking her, his uniform on and her hands above her head, the noises she made everything he needed to hear. His kisses were hard and needy because he was needy. She hadn't mentioned Charlie's request for a date in more than ten days, and she'd managed to start up a cool friendship with Nikki, but Pacey couldn't shake the fear that what he had was fragile. He wanted to claim her, to make her his and sex was something he had that no other man had had with her. He felt chauvinistic, even misogynistic, which he wasn't, not normally but in this instance he wanted to be hers and only hers and so he wanted the same - for her to be his. Only he wasn't naive. He knew Charlie wouldn't give up because Darren wouldn't give up. And he knew what Darren had done to her and could do to her again, only she was older and it could be worse. He didn't like the small part of him that knew what Joey might be willing to concede to those two men if it meant securing their arrest, if it meant securing Alex's safety.

'Fuck, I'm going to come,' he groaned as she lifted her hips to meet his. Only he didn't pull out of her, and he hadn't used a condom because they were useless at using condoms. He knew they were useless because he half didn't care and she half didn't care, because a baby wouldn't be the end of the world. Except he always pulled out if he wasn't wearing one, only this time he pulled her closer and felt nothing but relief as he came inside of her.


	19. Chapter 19

**Hi all,**

 **So this is nearly all coming together. I have a few gaps to sort out. I hope this solves any confusion and moves things along.**

 **It is one gorgeous summer here in Vancouver and I love spending my time down on the beach so reviews motivate (I know, I know, bribery...it's low. You guys review and I write.) I do actually take on board what people say in reviews and so I thank those that do review and I will sacrifice some of my beach time if people continue to do so! Thanks guys,**

 **Tab xx**

 **Chapter 19**

Pacey felt rather disgusted with himself. It wasn't in his personality to do what he'd done, not normally, but he told himself that he must have had a panic attack. Joey hadn't said anything about his decision to completely forgo a condom and just come inside of her. She'd turned her back to him, snuggled up against him and held his arm around her, until she was sleeping and he was left in the moonlight thinking about what he'd done. He wanted to protect her and it dawned on him that it was strange that he decided a baby would protect her, much as she had tried to insist a few months earlier. And he knew the theory was bunk, because nothing would protect her except for Darren disappearing from existence.

He didn't know what drove him to do what he had. He loved her and the idea of a baby didn't scare him, not like other guys he knew. He knew Joey would be a good mom because he saw her with Alex. And he had Alex - he was essentially a dad as it was. He also knew she wasn't opposed to the idea, that she wanted children. He also knew that if he were truly looking out for her he should encourage her to do more with her art, probably before kids, because she was excellent at it. There were probably places she wanted to visit too, things to try, trips to take. They hadn't even gone camping and it seemed like a shame because he wanted to give her the world. Yet in that instance, when he was inside of her, he had felt like a baby would prevent her from trying to take matters into her own hands, that it would offer her some protection from the nefarious ways of the drug lord. Of course he knew guys like Darren Sullivan and unfortunately a baby in Joey's tummy might not protect her at all. He felt like an idiot. Like she might think he was laying claim, or doing who knows what. He wished she was awake so they could talk. He wished he was asleep so morning would arrive quicker. He wished a lot of things.

* * *

Pacey woke up with the groggy sensation that accompanies falling asleep in the early hours and sleeping way too late the next day. The room was refreshingly cool and the sheets next to him were disappointingly cold and empty. He looked at the clock and sighed to see that it was after midday. He didn't like to sleep away his days off. He liked sleep a lot but he couldn't shake the notion that he was wasting precious free time when he slept. Joey must have been up before Alex because he hadn't heard the baby cry at all.

Heading to the bathroom he took off what he still had on of his crumpled uniform and showered in hot soapy water before tidying up the scruff on his face and brushing his teeth. Heading downstairs he was met with silence and felt both disappointed and elated that Joey had apparently taken Alex out. Disappointed because he always wanted to see Joey and he loved hanging with both her and Alex on a day off, and elated because he wasn't sure he wanted to broach the subject of the previous nights idiocy, even if he had to.

He made a coffee and sat with the tv on, watching some football game he couldn't have cared less about. His mind turned to Joey's stupid plan. It was risky in every sense of the word. He didn't like to think what she'd have to do to convince first Charlie, then Darren that she was sincere. He imagined she'd have to flirt, to deny her feelings for him and convince Charlie she was into him. There would definitely be kissing and with the way she described Charlie he'd push for more. Then there was Darren. If he got even an inkling that Joey was double crossing him he'd kill her. Pacey knew the type and the danger was very, _very_ real. Her prison plan wasn't awful except it involved her going to jail. Back to the place where she felt her safety was actually threatened. Maybe she wouldn't actually have to go to jail but she'd have to disappear for a significant stretch of time, she'd have to hide at any sign of someone who knew or associated with Darren. Jail might indeed be safer. There was witness protection but that was a huge decision. One he'd want to make with her because he knew he wanted to go where she did.

At length the door opened and Joey came in with Alex.

'Dada,' Alex cried full of joy and ran across the room and threw himself at Pacey with gleeful enthusiasm.

'Where you been Al?'

'Park,' Alex answered clambering on Pacey, who attempted to tug off the kids shoes which were less than clean. 'Toast peas,' he asked, looking at him with large brown eyes.

'Toast, huh? You hungry for some lunch?'

'Hungry,' Alex agreed and rubbed his stomach.

'Hey pretty girl,' he looked at Joey for the first time. She looked ridiculously young all of a sudden. Maybe because she hadn't put on her usual make up and was just wearing jeans and a tshirt. She looked more "girl-next-door" than she ever had. Beautiful of course, because she always looked beautiful.

'Hi,' she didn't meet his eye and his whole body protested at this.

'We should talk,' he said and she nodded.

'I, uh, text Jack and he said he'd have Alex for an hour or so.'

'Ok,' Pacey felt terrible, that horrid feeling of everything being wrong causing his stomach to somersault until he thought he might throw up.

'He'll be here in half an hour so we better feed Al.'

'Sure.'

* * *

'Shall we go for a walk?' she asked and he nodded, cautiously taking her hand, relieved when she entwined her fingers with his.

'I'm sorry,' he said about a second after the front door was shut and locked. She looked at him, 'I shouldn't have just done that. I mean, I know we've spoken about it before, but it was wrong.'

'I think you did it because you're scared,' she said with a frown. 'I think you're scared and you wanted to make sure you claimed me as yours before any other man could.'

'Aw god no Joey, it wasn't like that. I guess I fell into the trap that you did. I thought a baby might make you safe. That no one would touch you if you were pregnant.'

'I'm not pregnant,' she stated.

'You know for sure?'

'You should keep better track of my cycle if you really want to knock me up. You're really unlikely to fall pregnant the day before your period and I got mine today.'

'You did?' he cursed inwardly at the disappointment.

'So now you want me to have your baby? A few months ago you didn't, but now you think it'll keep me safe.'

'I'm worried you're going to do something stupid and I guess...I don't know. I wasn't thinking properly ok Joey? You know it wasn't some elaborate plan I'd constructed. I didn't even mean for us to have sex, I just...I just didn't want it to not happen in that moment. It was spontaneous and maybe it was stupid but I just...I was scared I guess.'

'Don't be scared, I can take care of myself,' she tried to reassure him but it did the opposite.

'I know you think you can,' he began and she looked at him, fiery and scary, even without her makeup,

'Don't patronize me. I'm not some dumb, naive, little girl.'

'I didn't mean that,' he attempted.

'So what did you mean?'

'I'm scared that you'd kiss another guy to put Darren behind bars. That you'd touch another guy, that you'd have sex with another guy. I'm worried you'd be made to when you didn't want to. I'm worried you wouldn't be safe.'

'And you thought if I was fat with a baby they wouldn't want me?'

'I thought you wouldn't put yourself in that situation.'

'I already said I wouldn't,' she glared.

'And I don't believe you,' he yelled. 'I'm sorry but I don't because I know you and I know that if you think you can protect Alex you will, even if that means sacrificing yourself.' She stared at him in silence for a few seconds.

'He's not the only one I want to protect,' she admitted in a small voice.

'Who?' he asked and then reached for her chin to tilt it up, desperate for her to look at him, 'you mean me?'

'I mean you.'

'I'm the police Joey, it's my job to protect _you_.'

'In a relationship it's both peoples job to protect and in this circumstance I think I can protect better than you.'

'Is there something you're not telling me?' He asked and she looked away, a total tell that she was hiding something.

'Darren made threats.'

'What kind of threats?' they were no longer walking anywhere, just standing by the creek.

'He asked about Alex, asked if I wouldn't like him to have more than he does, if I didn't want him to be safe. He said you weren't to be trusted, that cops never could be. That you'd tire of me and then Alex and I would be alone again. He asked if I wanted to know where Bessie and Bodie were. He didn't come out and say he'd hurt people, but it was implied, you know, in the way he asked the questions.'

'And he seriously thinks you won't talk to your boyfriend? That you won't tell me what he said?'

'You don't understand people like us Pace. He'd never expect our relationship to be legitimate. He thinks I'm sleeping with you for a roof over my head. I'm using you and you're using me. That's what he said after he saw us.'

'You mean he's been back since that day at the library? Why didn't you tell me?'

'Because he said I could do better with him and not to forget I owed him. That was it. What could you have done?'

'Joey, you have to be honest with me. I need all the information.'

'Well now you have it.'

'You believe that I love you, that I don't just want to have sex, that I want you?'

'Yes I believe you,' she rolled her eyes.

'And it's not true for you? Is it?' he asked aware that he didn't have the same certainty as her because Joey was infinitely more unreadable.

'I'm not using you Pacey. I've never told anyone that I love them except for you and I told you that because it was the truth. That's why I want to protect you,' she took a step back. 'I just feel like you don't get that I understand these people. That I can solve it.'

'I do believe you could do what you say but not without putting yourself at risk.'

'It wouldn't mean anything. If I had to touch them, it would be different to how it is with you. It wouldn't mean what it means with you.'

'But the thought makes me feel like dying. The thought of another guy touching you, of you putting your mouth on another guy, of another guy sleeping with you...'

'I could make sure that doesn't happen. I could. I just know it.'

'But you'd do it?'

'To protect you and Alex, I'd do anything.'

'Don't say that,' he shook his head, 'please don't say that.'

'Please can we not talk about it anymore. I feel constantly exhausted at the moment.'

'Just promise me. Please Joey,' he took her hands in his.

'I can't promise Pacey. I love you and Alex too much to promise that I wouldn't rid our lives of this overhanging threat.'

'But can't you see that you not promising is going to make me panic more, it feels like a bigger threat than...'

'Than them taking Alex?' she gave a bitter, sarcastic laugh, 'than them taking me, or killing me?'

'Killing you?'

'What do you think it is men like that do when you owe them? They take revenge. Betrayal means death, means reprisals. They may try to do worse.'

'Worse?'

'Heroine and prostitution. It's not like they haven't thought of that.'

'Joey, I love you,' he stated clearly, 'I love you more than I've ever loved anyone. I love you so much that it scares me, because I don't know what I'd do without you, you or Alex. I want to put this guy away. I'll admit I haven't always thought of the bigger picture, I guess I haven't wanted to, but I know what men like Darren Sullivan are like. I knew when you went to prison that it might be more complicated than simply serving your time. I even knew when he turned up at your school, at the library, that when the kid at school recognized you that it wouldn't be simple. I just…I didn't let myself acknowledge that there might be danger. I never thought I was a possessive guy but the thought of you with anyone else… well that's awful, but the thought of you with that man, that man that took advantage and abused and...fuck no. The thought of you in danger is just too much...'

'Pacey, I'm not with anyone else. I'm with you.'

'I know. I'm completely irrational, completely out of control. You know I blame you,' he tried to lighten the mood, and although it came out a little stilted she allowed it,

'Me?'

'You make me crazy because I adore you so much.'

'Wow, you're saying it's my fault when you behave like a dumbass?'

'Exactly, I'm so glad you get it,' he smiled, pleased when she returned his smile.

* * *

'I love this place,' Joey sighed as she nestled beside him on the deck of True Love, cushions and blankets all around them.

'You liked actual sailing as well right?' he asked. They'd only sailed a few times over the summer because of work and Alex who seemed hell bent on hurling himself off the boat.

'I loved sailing, but this is like a cocoon of protection from the rest of the world.'

'Because we're surrounded by so much soft stuff?' he chuckled as she nodded,

'The stars look pretty amazing too.'

'I prefer looking at you,' he raised his head, leaning on his arm so he could marvel yet again at her perfection.

'You're so….'

'Romantic?' he asked with a smile.

'I was going to say cheesy,' she teased.

'I don't care. I think it's wonderful that after nearly nine months I find you as intriguing and wonderful as I did when I met you all that time ago.'

'You also seem to be as fond of me naked as you always were.'

'Honestly can't see that changing,' he kissed her, pulling her naked body against his.

'Maybe when I get old, or pregnant, or…'

'Nah, never gonna happen,' he interrupted.

'If you think I'm never gonna get old you're either deluded or have some scary plan I'm not privy to,' she ran a hand over his bare chest.

'No, silly. I'll still be entirely attracted to you no matter if you're old, or pregnant, or fat, or anything. You're you.'

'You're wonderful,' she kissed him.

'uh hmm,' the cough from the dock broke them apart.

'Oh hey Dougy,' Pacey acted nonchalant despite his brother's uniform and their nakedness. He did tug the blanket a little higher however.

'You know it would be better if you went below deck before getting rid of your clothes,' his brother couldn't help himself but say.

'Better for whom?'

'You and your reputation as a cop in this town.'

'You're trying to tell me someone has complained? We're entirely hidden from view and the other owners of boats all around mine are out of towners.'

'No one has complained,' Doug admitted. 'Yet.'

'So why are you here at eleven in the evening?'

'I need Joey to come into the station,' Doug told them carefully.

'Why?' Pacey burst out.

'For the moment thats gonna stay between Joey and I.'

'Is this an official request then?'

'Yes,' Doug nodded.

'I'll come with you,' he rushed to tell her but his brother shook his head,

'I'm afraid you need to go relieve Jack.'

'I can call Jack.'

'You need to go back to your house. Jack's expecting you and he'll want you to take him through things.'

'What's this about Doug?'

'Look Pacey. Go get your baby, then come to the station. Jack needs to go home or you can negotiate with him to sleep at yours but he's on in the morning. Then come to the station as soon as you can.'

'Ok, ok,' Pacey grumbled unable to work out if Doug wanted him there or not, or was just being his normal pedantic self. Joey pulled on her clothes under the blanket and hopped off the boat, her hair a tell tale mess. 'Jo, I'll be there as soon as I can, ok?'

'Sure. Ok, I'm ok,' Joey smiled at him walking off with his brother, apparently unperturbed at being pulled off a boat at eleven in the evening.

'Go home, see Jack, then come straight to the station,' Doug told him making things far more complicated than Pacey thought they needed to be. However, despite his desperate desire to get to Joey he first headed home.

* * *

Pacey could have sworn at Jack, and Jack was his best buddy. However he insisted Pacey waste a good twenty minutes taking him through what to do if Alex woke up which was stupid because Alex never woke up. Then he wanted to know what to feed the kid for breakfast. There wasn't time to dwell on his irritation with both Jack and his brother, or the worries over what had caused his brother to bring in Joey as he'd pulled up at the station in a record seven minutes. Audrey was at the front desk and seemed unsurprised to see him,

'Looking for your inappropriate girlfriend?' she asked clearly amusemed with herself, 'because your brother took her outback to an interview room.'

'Do you know why she's here?'

'Nope. Something big though if they have me in at this time. You know people here don't ever tell me anything. Well you used to until you stopped sleeping with me,' she smiled finding herself funny again.

'We had a thing, we broke up. You said it was fine.'

'It is fine Pacey,' she gave him a withering look.

'Ok, great. I'm going back there.'

'Ok,' she shrugged and leant back in her chair.

Pacey went out back and spotted Drue.

'Hey man,' he said with a nod and Drue, uncharacteristically quiet, nodded back,

'Hey. Chief said to send you in when you got here.'

'Ok,' Pacey put a hand on the door when he felt Drue's hand on his back. He recognized a hand of condolence and wondered what Drue was sorry for. He had no time to contemplate further because when he pushed through the door he found his brother sat next to Joey, her limp hand in his as she frowned at a spot on the floor.

'What's going on?' he asked and her gaze rose to meet his, but it was as if she wasn't really seeing him, merely staring at an empty space.

'Why don't you sit down,' Doug suggested and stood so Pacey could take his chair.

'Are you ok Jo?' he took her hand and then placed his other on her cheek, desperate to break through the inexpressive mask on her face, she looked at him and blinked before shaking her head.

'We asked Joey here in part because we think we found her sister.'

'And you didn't think I should be here for you telling her that?' Pacey felt instantly enraged.

'We thought it might be best if we discussed the situation without you losing it first.'

'And what is the situation?' Pacey looked at his brother, but then at Joey, 'Jo, sweetheart, are you ok?'

'No,' she shook her head. 'They killed my sister.'

'They what?' he didn't shout, his bewilderment was too great to yell. He hadn't expected that. He wasn't sure what he'd been expecting. Some false report of Joey doing something she shouldn't, something less serious than what she was saying, her face still void of expression.

'Darren and his...his... _associates_. They found Bessie and they killed her,' she looked to Doug, staring at him with question in her eyes.

'Bessie was in Boston,' Doug clarified.

'Why would you tell her this when she's alone?' Pacey shook his head, uncomprehendingly. 'That isn't even our policy. You wait for someone,' he stared at his brother who sighed.

'We all make decisions,' Doug said simply. 'I've just told her and you're here now.'

'You can still be a complete dick you know,' Pacey glared at his brother, trying to shove his outrage to one side as he pulled Joey close, wrapping his arm tightly around her and kissing her head. 'I mean I'm the guardian of her kid,' he shook his head. 'Jo,' he turned his full attention to his girlfriend, 'Joey.'

'It's ok,' her frown grew. 'I'm ok.'

'You're not,' he shook his head.

'No, maybe not,' she pressed her face to his chest.

'Pacey,' his brothers voice broke into the silence.

'What?'

'It seems Bodie was caught up in the shooting. He was with Bessie in Boston. You'll need to speak to social services tomorrow.'

'For fucks sake Doug,' Pacey hissed, keeping his voice as soft as he could.

'I'm sorry.'

'You're not sorry, you're never sorry. How could you? Fuck,' he swore with anger because he was beyond angry with his brother at that moment, so angry he wasn't sure he'd ever forgive him. What he'd done was wrong on so many levels. Telling Joey after pulling her away from him, her only support system. Tacking him on as an after thought when the child he was bringing up had just lost his parents forever, when the girl he loved had lost her family. 'How am I supposed to forgive you for this?' he asked in a low voice, aware that Joey was still leaning numbly against him, not crying, not really doing anything except for being scarily silent. Pacey looked away from his brother and at Joey's hands which were clenched into tight fists. He smoothed her hair from her face but even though she was facing him she obviouslywasn't seeing anything. He kissed her forehead and held her tight.


	20. Chapter 20

**Thanks for all the reviews! You guys are great. This is hard to write because as always a simple idea in my head becomes complicated on paper. The story was meant to be simpler than it has ended up, but that's how it is.**

 **This is the last chapter with any ambiguity. In fact there are probably only a couple more chapters left after this. I've loved the feedback when writing this - it has definitely pushed me through writers block and hopefully I can end this satisfactorily for you all!**

 **So thanks for the reviews and please keep them coming!**

 **Tab xx**

 **Chapter 20**

'Hi,' Jack met them at the door, 'are you guys ok?'

'No,' Pacey glared at him. 'Your boyfriend is a jerk and if you knew what he was going to be telling Joey while I was here explaining what to do if Alex woke up then you're as bad as he is.'

'Pace,' Jack looked devastated. 'I'm sorry.'

'So you did know?' he glared but Jack didn't answer,

'Whatever reason you could have possibly had, I just...I just cannot imagine what it was and that it justifies this,' he gestured to Joey who was curled into his side still silent. 'Now apparently you're on in the morning, so you better get home.'

'I can stay if you need me...'

'Get out Jack,' Pacey muttered darkly and when the door shut behind his once friend he climbed the stairs with Joey, sitting her on the edge of his bed.

'I don't want to sleep here,' she looked up at him with vacant eyes.

'Huh?' he stared down at her confused before sinking to his knees in front of her.

'I just...want to be alone,' she turned away from him, and he sighed, sitting beside her on the bed.

'Jo, I know how it feels. Or I can try to imagine. But I love you and no one should be alone after hearing what you did.'

'Can we sleep in my room?' she asked and though the request struck him as a little odd given that she never slept in her room, he nodded.

'Of course,' he answered immediately. 'Anything you need.'

'I need to lie in bed and try and pretend this evening never happened.'

'Ok.' He didn't bother mentioning teeth or anything but she went to the bathroom and did them anyway. She took off her clothes, letting them fall to the floor where she stood and then she lay back on her bed staring at the ceiling. Cautiously he got in beside her sighing as she turned her back to him.

'I love you Joey,' he whispered into the quiet of the night.

'I know,' she said, her voice sounding all caught up in her throat. He put his arm around her, his palm flat on her stomach, relieved when she put hers lightly on top.

* * *

Time passed quickly in the aftermath of Bessie and Bodie's death. There were police interviews that Joey and he had to be part of. It was difficult because Pacey didn't know what Joey said in her interviews. The Boston P.D were running the case and as he was personally involved in the case he had to keep his distance. It wasn't a nice time. Joey continued to be withdrawn and began drinking in town again. Pacey was just relieved that his brother was choosing to be lenient because it was becoming difficult. He tried to talk to her but she didn't want to talk. He tried to love her but she didn't seem to want love. She showed next to no interest in Alex. And he understood it all. Grief was a powerful and controlling emotion and she was clearly immersed in hers. And how could he possibly pretend to know what it would be like to be alone in the world. Or to feel that way because she wasn't alone - he had no plans to abandon her. He loved her in her messy grief as much as he'd loved her before. Perhaps more because her vulnerability was exposed to him in all its rawness.

She didn't cry which was a lot worse than if she had. She simply disappeared from life, from him, drifted back out into the ether and away from him. He tried to pull her back in. To let her know that he loved her however she was, that he wanted to be there for her, but she would slip from her bed and the house before either he or Alex awoke and he didn't know where she went in the cold mornings. She continued to go to school, or so a phone call reassured him, but he never caught her with her sketch book anymore.

She may not have cried but he wanted to cry. To cry at all that had been lost in one evening. He blamed his brother, feeling that if he had been there when she was told, she would be relying on him, that he could have provided the support for her to grieve more openly. Whether that was true or not he longed for his surly girlfriend back. He longed for her eyes to roll, for her teeth to bite her bottom lip, to hear her laugh, or just turn to him with playful intentions, for her to listen to music again, or draw. Pacey could be patient, and he would, but he grew scared that she would no longer want him, that it would be over.

* * *

'Jo,' he dropped to the dock beside her, taking the half empty bottle of tequila form her hand.

'It's tradition,' she said but there was nothing defensive to her words, they were almost in monotone.

'Joey, tell me what you want me to do here?'

'Nothing,' she muttered, 'just give me back my tequila.'

' _Your_ tequila?'

'Fine. Give me back the tequila _I_ stole, please.'

'I can't do that and you know it. Jack and Doug are on their way. It was called in and I heard but they are coming to deal with this officially.'

'So let them,' she shrugged casually. 'This is tradition.'

'They won't respect your tradition baby. You know that,' he cupped her face, taking in the droop of her eyelids, the drunken gaze that she fixed on him.

'Lets fuck,' she stated out of the blue and despite the fact that his mind knew that would be a terrible idea, his body responded eagerly.

'No Joey, we can't fuck,' he stated.

'You don't want me anymore?' she looked drunkenly heart broken, her eyes utterly beautiful.

'Of course I want you, I don't think I'll ever stop wanting you,' he admitted, his voice gruff, 'but you're not yourself and it wouldn't be right.'

'But I want sex Pacey. I want to have sex and forget for five seconds. If you love me then you'll give me what I want.'

'I do love you Joey, God I love you so much. I just don't think sex is what you need...'

'I want sex. I need sex. You're my boyfriend. Aren't you supposed to give me sex when I want it?'

'Normally I wouldn't even hesitate. You know that,' he smoothed her hair behind her ear.

'So don't,' she urged and moved her face until her lips were on his and she was kissing him like she hadn't in so long. 'Give me this Pacey,' she urged and swung her leg across his until she was straddling him, her chest pressed up against his, her beautiful boobs rubbing up and down against his chest as she rocked herself on top of him. 'Stop holding back Pace,' she urged, her hands at his belt buckle.

'The cops will be here soon,' he hissed, becoming swayed by her kisses and her hands that had successfully undone his belt, her fingers slipping under the waist band of his boxers.

'The cops are already here,' she sassed as she pushed at his jeans and boxers.

'Jo,' he moaned as his hips lifted without his say so.

'I want this. I want it,' she told him, pulling up her skirt and rubbing herself against him. 'Oh fuck, I don't want this,' she pressed her forehead against his chest, her whole body shaking.

'Come here, it's ok, hun, it's ok.'

'It's not ok. It's never going to be ok, not ever,' she gripped onto his shirt. 'It was true. When I said it all that time ago I didn't really believe it. I was stupid and childish but now I know. I'm never going to escape this, I'm never going to be anyone other than this girl...this fuck up girl.'

'That's not true,' he told her but she looked away from him her eyes full of tears, 'it isn't. You're amazing. Look at how different your life is now...'

'It's not _my_ life. It's _your_ life that you let me be part of because for some stupid reason you think you love me.'

'I do,' he told her, 'Joey you're a beautiful, talented, caring person. You're everything I want.'

'Don't you get it? I don't get to be that person. I don't get to have a life with you. Bes...' her voice cracked on her sister's name, 'it was a warning,' she climbed off of him and he hoisted up his pants as he turned to her, on his knees and pleading.

'Let the police do their job. Let us keep you safe,' he took her hands but she shook her head,

'That's not how it works.'

'That is how it works, goddammit.'

'I love you,' she stated suddenly and boldly. 'I don't _think_ I love you, I _know_ I do. God, but you have to be the nicest person I've ever known. The sweetest and the funniest and the kindest. You are the one who's amazing and part of me wishes you'd put a baby in me because I would love to have your baby. I'd love to have you for the rest of my life...' She trailed off and he waited, expecting a "but." It didn't come. His brother and Jack did. Not with guns blazing, nor indeed with flashing lights but with compassion and understanding.

'You need to go home Joey,' his brother said kindly.

'I know, I know,' she looked at the ground.

'We understand, we really do,' Jack added.

'But this does need to stop,' Doug told her.

'I can't just switch it off,' she stared at them, 'don't you get it?'

'Clearly we don't,' Doug shrugged, 'but you either sleep it off at home, or try and explain it to me from a cell.'

'I'll take her home,' Pacey rushed to say.

'Good,' Doug nodded but made no move to leave, watching as he took her hand, passing the tequila to Jack as he led Joey away from the docks.

* * *

'What's up Pacey?' Doug looked at him from the file he was studying. Pacey shut the door and sat in the chair opposite his brother.

'Can we maybe be brothers for a second rather than cops?'

'We're in uniform at work,' his brother frowned.

'Please? After the ridiculousness of you telling Joey when she was alone, you owe me a fuckign conversation about a mess that's probably all your fault.' His voice had risen.

'Make it quick,' Doug said.

'Quick?' Pacey rubbed his hands through his hair feeling stressed, 'I wish it could be quick.'

'What's the matter?'

'Joey of course.'

'Joey?' his brothers eyebrows arched. 'What's the problem?'

'I can't get through to her. She's sad, like all the time sad. She barely acknowledges Alex and she's drinking again, which means she's probably stealing as she doesn't get the alcohol from me. I don't know what to do,' he looked up at his brother, hopeful of a resolution, even in the deep felt anger he still held for him.

'Love and kindness helped the first time,' Doug said, his voice steady.

'This is different,' Pacey explained tightly.

'Is she still going to school?'

'Yes. I rang and they said she's there.'

'What's she like there?'

'Quiet but she works.'

'She's not hanging out with Charlie Todd?'

'If you're asking if she's decided to take matters into her own hands the truth is I don't know. I don't believe so.'

'Are you still...intimate?'

'Are you and Jack?' Pacey shot back defensively.

'I'll take that as a no,' Doug nodded and Pacey turned away in embarrassment.

'She's just withdrawn. She sleeps in her room now and she doesn't want me there.'

'Give her time and love. Grief is a funny thing. The way we respond to it is not always understandable.'

'I do love her Doug, even through all of this,' Pacey was speaking of Joey but realized that perhaps the same was true of his feelings for his brother.

'I know you do Pacey.'

'You think love and time will be enough?'

'I hope so.'

* * *

The call came at five thirty, just as he had sat Alex down to have his dinner.

'There's been a disturbance at the general store Pace. Mrs Ryan claims she saw Joey stealing chocolate bars and they found them in her bag,' Jack told him.

'Fuck,' he swore looking at Alex with contrition because he didn't swear in front of the baby, 'where is she now?'

'The owner is insisting he wants to press charges since it's not the first time. He's really angry.'

'He's not the only one.'

'Go easy on her,' Jack suggested and Pacey felt the anger bubble out of him,

'Sure, because going easy on her will stem this flood of self destruction.'

'Well being hard on her may just scare her away.'

'Ok, fine.'

'So you coming in?'

Pacey looked at Alex who was looking at him expectantly for the plate of food he actually had in his hand and he sighed. He couldn't leave her in there, not like Bodie had done even if it meant crying and screaming from Alex.

'Yep, give me five.' He hung up and scraped Alex's dinner into a Tupperware pot, grabbed cutlery and the child, who was now crying, and headed for the station.

* * *

'Why?'

'Because.'

'Jo. You have money. You have a job.'

'I quit my job,' she looked away from him and out the window.

'You did?' he couldn't help but feel crestfallen.

'I just...I just couldn't.'

'I would have given you money,' he told her but she shook her head,

'I don't want to talk about it.'

'I do.'

'Well good luck with that,' she muttered.

* * *

Pacey was still up when the phone rang. He'd been on duty until six pm, he'd collected Alex and then headed home wondering where Joey was when he arrived home to an empty house. He missed her - like crazy. His stomach lived in constant knots of anxiety, and he missed the one person, the only person, who had ever made him feel happy in his own skin. He didn't think Joey was happy in her skin. Or happy at all. Her spiral out of control had him in pieces. He put Alex to bed and waited and waited and so he was awake when the call came.

'I'm sorry,' the first words out of Jacks mouth made him want to cry, and goddamned tears actually sprung to his eyes.

'What happened?' his voice cracked and his friend must have known how he felt.

'She was drunk, and she went in to speak with Mr Grant, the store owner. She lost it on him. One of the staff called us.'

'How is she?'

'Singing.'

'Singing?'

'Some song, a sad song. I don't know it. She's in a cell by herself.'

'What's going to happen to her?'

'I honestly don't know,' Jack sighed.

'I'll come and get her.'

'You'll have to bring Alex. I can't come over. I'm sorry we can't bring her to you.'

'It's ok, it's ok,' he muttered because it wasn't ok.

* * *

'Pacey,' Doug wasn't on duty but he met him at the station. Alex was inconsolable in Pacey's arms, distressed at the midnight wake up call, and unable to calm down enough to fall back to sleep.

'You're here?' his brow creased in question.

'We need to talk,' Doug led him through to the back, Alex still screaming in Pacey's arms.

'We do?'

'Yes. Audrey will take Alex.'

'I don't know, he's pretty upset and he won't love going to someone else and...'

'Audrey's going to drop him to Kerry. He loves Kerry and he has somewhere to sleep. That's what he really wants. Like I said we need to talk.'


	21. Chapter 21

**Ok guys,**

 **Here is the penultimate chapter. I hope you're all still reading. This deviated slightly from my original idea. My next story will be simple I think:-) Thank you for reviews and please keep the feedback coming. I do get a lot from reviews and I'm actually interested to know what you think - even if you think I should have gone in a different direction!**

 **Tab xx**

 **Chapter 21**

'In here,' Doug nodded to interview room one and Pacey felt his innards flip flop inside of him as he contemplated every possible reason for Doug having him go into an interview room. There wasn't any option which didn't result in torment and agony - he just didn't see how it could be good. 'I'll be there in a minute,' Doug said and Pacey nodded unhappily, mute in his fear. Pushing open the door, he was surprised to see that the room was occupied. Joey was stood by the desk, her hands playing with the cuffs of her sweater the way they always did when she was nervous.

'Joey?' he was entirely confused.

'Pacey.' Given the state of their relationship he hadn't expected his name to fall from her lips with such reverence, with such need.

'I don't understand,' he shook his head, hoping to clear metaphorical cobwebs.

'I know and I'm sorry,' she took a step in his direction but hesitated, stopping instead a metre or so away from him.

'Explain it then please? I was told you were in a cell. That you were singing after losing your shit on that poor store owner.'

'I was singing,' she frowned, 'and I did...well everyone _thinks_ I lost my shit.'

'Look Joey. It's the middle of the night and I'm feeling angry and in all honesty pretty pissed about having to haul the baby out of bed in the middle of the night. Get to the point so I don't yell because that poor kid was a mess.'

'Really?' her face fell and she looked to the ground.

'Yes Joey, really. I had to pull him out of his bed when he was fast asleep. I mean I love you but this is getting seriously messy. I don't know what to do anymore. I don't know if I'm good for you, or if you even want me to be good for you at this point. Seems to me that maybe you don't want this, that you don't want to be with me.'

'I do Pacey, I really, really do,' she did step forward this time, her hands reaching for his which were closed into tight fists. She took them anyway, 'you know how I feel about you. I've never loved anyone like you.'

'So what is this? What is this mess?' he stared at her.

'They needed to believe I was a mess. That what happened to Bessie and Bodie scared me shitless and it did Pacey, it really did.'

'Ok?' he couldn't get his head to function well enough to ask more.

'But it also made me angry and I don't do well with anger. Doug, he got rid of you deliberately, he wanted the decision about whether I help put Darren away to be mine and mine alone which is why he told me what had happened to Bessie and Bodie without you.'

'That makes no sense. He asks you to help put Darren away and then tells you your sister is dead? Who would do that?'

'It wasn't quite like that. He asked if what we'd talked about before was true. If I would be willing to...go under cover, I guess. And I said yes. He suggested we keep it from you to make it believable.'

'So lie to me?' his anger flared.

'Yes lie to you, but only so they believed it. Your reaction was as important as mine and you wear your heart so boldly. It's one of the things I love about you,' her voice softened, but he was feeling hard,

'So he asks if you'll lie to me, go after Darren and hurt me in the process?'

'Yes,' she admitted with an honesty he appreciated. 'That was the bit that was hardest and I wasn't going to do it but then I...I could just tell he was hiding something. I lost it with him and so he told me what had happened to my family.'

'So what's been real?' he sat on the edge of the desk and stared at his hands, that he'd taken from her.

'How I've been feeling,' she said softly, her voice cracking, 'God...I just...losing my sister and Bodie...I mean I know that they left me, that they left Alex, but they were my family. Mine. I don't have much that's mine.'

'You have Alex,' he said and then sighed and looked at her, 'you have me.'

'That's been the other thing that's made me sad...' she admitted and he frowned, confused,

'Me?'

'Having to pull away from you when I've needed you most. Pretending to spiral out of control when really I'm ok. Making you think it was all over when it isn't.'

'So it was all an act?'

'Not all of it. That night on the dock, I was desperate to be close but I felt all too raw, too messed up. I am fucked up. My motivation is just crystal clear. That bastard took my dad, and my mom in many ways. He took my sister and Bodie and he's not having you. Not you or Alex. I did this to keep you safe because you two would have been next. Fuck, if I don't pull this off you may still be.'

'So all the trouble you've caused in town?'

'Sanctioned by your brother.'

'The drunkenness?'

'Real but again sanctioned by your brother.'

'Are you...with him? Charlie Todd?'

'Pacey I couldn't do that to you,' she finally managed to ply her fingers through his, and pressed her lips to his, opening her mouth to his until he was kissing her hard, overcome by a feral passion.

'So you haven't kissed him?' he asked as he walked her backwards until her back hit the wall.

'No,' she looked up at him from under her lashes and so he kissed her again, pressing his body between her legs which widened to give him room.

'Nothing?'

'He tried it, I said no, so he's trying to charm me. It's working - he's desperate to woo me and I don't have to do anything with him,' she shrugged and then bunched his tshirt in her fist and pulled him closer. For a minute or so he gave himself over to the wonder that was kissing the intoxicating girl before him. His addiction to her was sheer craziness but he loved it, loved her. Loved the way she seemed to crave him, how her honesty had bulldozed the wall that had crept up between them. All the sadness he's been carrying around vented itself into his kiss until his hands were pushing up and under her top and the wonderful soft flesh he so craved was at last in his hands.

'Pacey,' his name coming from her in that breathless, pleading voice was his undoing and he rubbed his fingers between her legs, turned on indescribably by that action despite the layers of clothes between him and her.

'Oh,' he stopped as the thought crossed his mind, 'will you?'

'Will I what?' she asked, her breathing shallow and her eyes dilated. Her hands were even down the back of his pants.

'Kiss him? Fuck him? Or worse...that bastard who...'

'Pacey no. That's not going to happen.'

'What if he makes you?'

'Makes me how?'

'Forces you,' he lowered his head because the thought was odious. Her cool fingers trailed up his back and rubbed the back of his head and he found that his face was nestled against her gorgeous chest.

'I have a gun. Jack taught me to shoot it.'

'People aren't always safe, even with guns,' he finally looked at her.

'As long as you're safe, as long as Alex is safe, as long as that bastard dies in prison, then I'll be fine.'

'Joey...' he began to protest but she looked at him fiercely before somehow turning them around so his back was against the wall and she was pressed into him,

'Don't you forget that I know these men. That I grew up around men like this and that I've had to handle myself for years. I can't promise nothing will happen but I promise to fight like hell if it looks like anything will, and I can flirt, and I can drive a guy crazy, and I can be boss. Charlie Todd is a dumb kid. He's not a rapist and he's not out to force a girl because he thinks he's gods gift and that I will come to him eventually. He wants what he can't have and right now we want that to be me, so when he comes to pay my bail, I go with him.'

'You sure?'

'I'm sure.'

'I trust you,' he told her and she smiled, the first genuine smile in what felt like months.

'Good.'

A tap on the door sounded just as his lips hit hers.

'I'm sorry to interrupt,' Doug stepped into the room, and looked wearily to his brother.

'I should punch you,' Pacey told him.

'But he won't,' Joey filled in taking his hand.

'No I won't,' he agreed, lifting her hand to his lips and kissing it.

'She's a good one,' Doug stated and though the words were simple it meant a lot to Pacey for his brother to say something like that. 'Then again you always did have good taste.'

'You have to say that. You're sleeping with my best friend.'

'Like I said, great taste,' Doug smiled, but it was a brief smile, 'I need to get you back to holding because Charlie Todd just sauntered in.'

'Ok,' Joey nodded.

'We'll do a sound test on your wire out the back but you and Pace need to say goodbye. Pace you have to stay in this room until Jack comes and gets you. You can't be seen here. We're gonna get you in a car out front as though you've just arrived and you can confront them from there.'

'I get it,' he nodded. He hated it, but he got it.

'You need to say goodbye now Joey,' Doug said and stood by the door averting his eyes.

Cautiously she stepped up to him,

'Do you forgive me?'

'Yes,' he said but the words lacked conviction and she frowned, 'Joey of course I forgive you, I think I'd forgive you of anything, but...'

'But?'

'I wish it wasn't this way. This last few weeks - I've really struggled watching you struggle and to feel like it was an act...it just...' he sighed finding it hard to put all that he'd been feeling into words.

'Pace, I've been sad. I've lost my sister, and I've lost Bodie and through all my grief about that I had to act in a manner that meant I risked losing you. That when I needed you most I had to turn you away. I have been struggling. A lot. My struggle was real and the hardest part was pulling away from you,' she reiterated what had already been said but he needed to hear it again.

'Ok,' he nodded. 'Be safe Joey. I'll be there when I need to be there. My jealous rage is still part of this all, right?'

'It is,' Doug answered because Joey had pressed her cheek to his chest and then gave a sniff,

'I'm sorry,' she said again, 'I don't mean to cry, I just...need a moment.'

'You know you've got it,' Doug said.

'I love you,' Pacey told her again.

'I love you too,' she whispered into the warmth of his chest, then she sniffed one last time and looked up before kissing him, a soft kiss full of warmth and affection. 'I'll see you,' she said and walked to the door and his brother, who nodded at him before they were out of the room.

* * *

'We heading out front now?' Pacey asked.

'You know...' Jack clearly wanted to get something off of his chest.

'You're sorry, right? I know, I get it,' Pacey exonerated him even though he didn't feel like it. Jack was his best friend. They'd been through a lot together and Pacey knew that sometimes the police make decisions that are tough. His decision to get into bed, quite literally, with a known troublemaker, a girl with a record, while it wasn't a tough decision, it meant that he'd brought the blurred lines and boundaries down on everyone involved.

'I'm really sorry,' Jack stated.

'It's ok, I'm not mad. Scared as all hell, but not mad.'

'We have a team in the house next door. We don't have any clear visuals but enough and with Joey wearing the wire you should be able to hear exactly what's said. Of course you'll have to head into the lane and go round the block to wait in the car when things get critical.'

'Yeah, yeah, ready for my grand entrance.'

'You have to be mad at Joey. You have to make it seem that she's as in much trouble as the rest of them. She's got to be incriminated. Have your cell phone out. Say you followed her and be jealous. No gun, just anger. You 'lol be on the phone to Doug, yelling that they can't stop you, that you love her, whatever feels right. Doug and I will be right behind you, screaming at you not to be an idiot and to let her go. We'll be saying she's not worth it, crap like that. We're storming in after you in an effort to stop you getting into a fight with the guy that stole your girl. The timing is accidental.'

'Ok, I got it. So no flack vest, nothing? Right?'

'Right. You need to do everything you can to avoid violent conflict.'

'I don't think I'll be able to stop my fist connecting with Darren's face,' Pacey glowered.

'That's probably ok, just hold it together.'

'All I want is Joey out of this safely,' Pacey stated as they buckled into a generic blue sedan.

'We're here. We've just pulled out and you're going to say something when you see Joey leave with Charlie.

'Shouldn't be a problem,' he felt a surge of indignant anger at the thought of her with that dumb guy. An indignant, jealous anger that over whelmed him when he saw Joey and Charlie exit the building. They were laughing, Charlie saying something that Joey apparently found funny. They stopped on the steps and Charlie took her hand and something in him snapped. Especially because Joey was looking up at the stupid guy the way he loved her looking up at him.

'Joey,' he was out of the car and calling for her before he could stop himself. 'Doug called me.'

'Well I don't know why,' she scowled.

'I'm Charlie. You're?' Charlie looked faintly amused,

'Pacey, her boyfriend,' he ignored the hand Charlie stuck out.

' _Really_?' Charlie acted as though that were truly amusing.

'Come on, let's get away from here,' Joey nudged Charlie and Pacey felt incensed even though he knew it was all part of the plan, it just felt wrong, and she was too good at the acting for Pacey to relax.

'It's the middle of the night,' Pacey caught her hand but she snatched it away.

'So what?'

'Well where are you going?'

'Back to Charlie's,' she looked entirely nonchalant.

'Joey you're my girlfriend, you can't go spend the night at another guys house,' he yelled.

'You sound more like her dad,' Charlie snickered and Pacey grabbed his shirt,

'Don't fuck with me,' he hissed.

'Well don't be a fucking idiot then,' Charlie sassed back. It was entirely repulsive to Pacey, because the guy was a cocky bastard, and the way he kept looking at Joey wasn't innocent in any way.

'She lives with me, she's my girlfriend I'd be a fucking idiot to say nothing.'

'I'm going with Charlie, I don't want to go home,' Joey wouldn't look at him and tugged at Charlie as though she was desperate to leave.

'You can't just leave like that. Are you sleeping with this jerk?' he forced her to look at him.

'Fuck you,' she glared at him and grabbed Charlie's arm to drag him off.

* * *

'You did great,' Jack told him as they pulled out of the parking lot. He handed Pacey a bottle of whiskey. 'She told him it's your go to drink when you're mad. We've got to allow things to happen and you've gotta smell of whiskey. Remember you've followed her and you're sat in your car brooding.'

'How come we're so sure something incriminating is going to happen tonight?'

'Charlie told her she owed his dad and that Darren had a way for her to repay his debt. He said she needs to meet with him tonight. We don't think Charlie has a clue, but thinks it's dealing pot.'

'What if you're wrong?'

'You can still storm in all jealous,' Jack reassured him.

'Good. I'm not leaving her for the night in that bastards house,' Pacey glared at the street through the window as Jack drove. Jack coughed slightly and then asked,

'What exactly did he do to her?'

'Fuck,' Pacey swore because he wasn't sure he could make the words come out. 'She delivered drugs when she was a kid, was around drugs, and he made her...he's a pedophile ok?'

'No wonder she was fucked up.'

'Was?' Pacey actually looked at him.

'She hasn't seemed all that fucked up lately. I know her life is a mess but she has t been fucked up. Not since you. I know for you the last few weeks have been hell, but she's clear, she's concise, she's actually amazing.'

'Like I told you all,' Pacey couldn't help a small, smug smile.

'Doug thinks so too. I know he wasn't as supportive as he could have been, but he thinks she's great. He even said to me that he could see why you loved her.'

'Wow. Doug said that?'

'Yep.'

* * *

'What's happening?' Jack asked as they sat out front in the blue sedan, a few houses down from Darren Sullivan's ridiculously huge house.

'They're in the living room chatting. Charlie's smoking dope but Joey's sticking to her vodka. She's managing to tip most of it away. Darren is in a meeting.'

'Who the fuck meets at one in the morning?' Pacey burst out and Jack gave him a pointed look, 'yeah, yeah, criminals. How's Joey?'

'Holding her shit together,' Doug said with a veiled warning in his voice that Pacey better do the same. 'She keeps laughing when Charlie makes a move. Charlie doesn't seem to have a clue at how pissed his dad may be at Joey, just keeps saying she owes his dad and that's why she should sleep with him. It's a big flirtatious joke to him.'

'But he's not physically pushing it?'

'No,' Doug stated, 'I don't think that kid is all bad.'

'We'll see.'

'Ok, on alert, Darren's in the room.'

Doug went silent and Pacey thought he might throw up in anticipation. His nerves were fried and his fear was all too real.

'Take a sip of the whisky and spill some on your clothes,' Jack told him.

'What's happening Doug?' Pacey asked but his brother was silent. 'Doug?' he said more sharply.

'He has heroine. Lots of heroine and he wants to use Joey as a means of distribution, she'll deal with the drugs and money. Charlie hadn't got a clue about his dad and is yelling.'

'I'm going in,' Pacey began feeling unprofessional outrage but Doug snapped back,

'Stay the fuck where you are. There's nothing on the table yet.'

The next few minutes were spent in tense filled silence, until Pacey growled,

'Why the hell cant we hear what Joey is saying?'

'Doug and Joey, they uh...'

'They, uh, what?' Pacey looked at him expectantly.

'They were worried you'd flip out too soon. This Darren is a real piece of work and the things he says to her...you wouldn't wanna hear that.'

'What are they saying?'

'Pacey, I'm not gonna...'

'What are they saying?' he repeated louder.

'Pace...'

'WHAT ARE THEY SAYING?' he all but yelled.

'Doug can you please fill us in?' Jack switched on his mic speaking directly to the team in the house up the street.

'The drugs are out. Darren is suggesting she sample the product but Joey is keeping her cool and asking why she'd try something that probably killed her mother. She's playing it really well, so take deep breaths Pacey.'

'If the drugs are out, why can't we go in?'

'We need him to divvy up the packets. Charlie is shocked at what his dad has produced. I don't think he's naive enough to have known nothing but he definitely wasn't expecting this conversation between his dad and the girl he likes. Darren has suggested that there are other ways for Joey to pay off her debt but she has skirted that for the time being. As long as she doesn't piss him off we're doing ok.'

'So when do I go in?'

'Joey wants him to admit to the murders of her sister and Bodie, so you hold your horses.'

'Patch the feed from the house through to us,' Pacey demanded.

'Sure, if you can calm down.'

'I'm calm, now do it.'

'Ok,' Doug said and a couple of seconds later Joey's voice sounded through the speaker.

'I seem angry?' she was saying, but there was a flirty note to her voice.

'Where's the love you used to show me?' Darren's voice was hard, and Pacey could hear the hardness, the harshness.

'When you're all alone in the world there isn't a lot of love left,' Joey responded.

'I thought you had a cute little nephew and some cop boyfriend?' Darren was testing her, Pacey was sure because there was no way Charlie hadn't told his father whatever line Joey had spun about why she was with a cop.

'My cute little nephew doesn't have any parents,' Joey played the line brilliantly. It wasn't accusatory, more sad, lost girl.

'He has the cop. Haven't you been playing happy families?'

'He's overbearing but he gives me a roof over my head. I wouldn't call it a happy family,' she muttered and Pacey felt himself burn with mortification, but Jack caught his hand and squeezed it,

'She's doing her job,' he reminded him.

'But you'll fuck him? As I recall it your sister told me I was stuck with your mouth on my cock,' Darren's voice was full of goading darkness.

'Whatcha gonna do?' she said casually, 'I'm older, he's hot, so yeah I fucked him. Kept me warm, kept me fed and it's not illegal.'

'You didn't like prison, huh?' Darren actually laughed.

'Not going back there,' she stated and they heard his laugh change.

'You owe me and if that means a trip back to prison you do it willingly. Don't forget what I've done for you. I've kept a roof over your head by giving you work, kept food in your belly and you owe me. Unless you wanna pay me the way you pay that cop you take the fucking drugs where I want.'

'I said I wasn't going back there. I meant that I wasn't planning on getting caught again. The cop thinks I'm grieving. He won't be suspicious at all.'

'And are you grieving? Are you mad I had to take your sister from you? I had to have her killed Jojo, because she stole from me. You can't take my drugs and use them. You, you kept quiet when you were caught, went to prison, she just used everything and then came begging for more. I am sorry. Your father was my buddy. He's loyal. Shame the women in your family can't be trusted.'

'I'm more like my dad than my mom or sister,' Joey said and Pacey could hear her smile. Darren's awful laugh sounded,

'You're much prettier. You sure you don't want to fuck?'

'Dad,' Charlie's voice broke into the conversation in protest,

'Meh, you fuck the boy instead,' Darren said.

'Pacey you go. Jack I'm coming out to you.'

Pacey didn't need telling twice and was out of the car and up the street. He didn't need to try and look stressed, or drunk or anything because he was feeling that way. He wasn't drunk, he'd swilled the whiskey in his mouth and spilt some on his shirt but he was stone cold sober and he was mad.

The house looked like any other. It was a big house, nearly a mansion. There were no guards outside though Pacey didn't doubt he'd encounter a buffoon of some description on his way in. They were apparently in the large living room at the back of the house. It was big and the guys outside the room had weapons. This meant Pacey had to be jealous boyfriend and not cop. He jumped when his phone rang and answered it.

'I'm trying to talk you out of it, a reason for your phone to be out.'

'No Doug, I'm going in,' Pacey stated playing his part as he tried the front door. It was surprisingly open. Instinct told Pacey to enter cautiously, but he was there in an apparent jealous rage, not as a police officer so instead he yelled Joey's name loudly.

'Joey,' he yelled.

'They heard,' Doug said into his ear, 'move through the house.'

'I'm not leaving until I see her Doug, I love her and if she's fucking around...JOEY,' he yelled again.

'Go faster,' Doug urged and Pacey did.

'You can't go in there,' he was stopped by two buffoons, but he punched one and elbowed the others and burst in on the scene that was different in reality to in his head. The room was large and ridiculously white. So white that at first he found it hard to spot the drugs, which were in a large white plastic tub beside the white coffee table. A sample packet was on the table, as were associated paraphernalia. He took it all in but stared at Joey,

'Joey,' he stated her name. 'What the fuck is this?'

'Say something to me, alert them to the phone,' Doug said.

'I told you I'm not leaving without her,' he spat into the phone, 'she either comes with me or this is over but I'm finding out. She's mine.'

'Wow, your cop is a mess,' Darren sneered making no effort to hide the drugs.

'Pacey,' Joey sounded the perfect mix of irritated and angry, 'why are you here?'

'I followed you. I wanted to see if you were sleeping with that creep,' he gestured to Charlie, 'behind my back. Are you? Or is it just fucking drugs?' he slurred his words.

'We're coming in,' Doug hissed.

'I'm not leaving,' he yelled back into the phone, 'I'm not. Not without Joey,' he looked up at her, 'not without you.'

'Your cop is a joke,' Darren jeered and so Pacey lunged at him, wrestling with him as Joey yelled at him to stop and Charlie laughed drunkenly. The bodyguards who had entered the room pulled Pacey off of Darren and stood holding him firmly away from their boss.

'Pacey I don't want to come with you,' she told him, back to the snarky teen in a cell he had met a couple of years earlier.

'What?' he slumped against his captors, 'but I love you.'

'Well I don't love you,' she told him and moved next to Charlie. 'You pretend to understand me but you don't, not at all. You're a fool if you think I ever loved you,' she flopped back onto the blindingly white leather couch and pulled Charlie down beside her by their joined hands.

'Pacey,' Doug's voice as he and Jack burst into the room wearing their uniforms but no guns drawn. It had to look coincidental for Joey's protection. As soon as they were in and the scene was absorbed they pulled their guns and aimed them. 'Put your fucking hands up. Acting the drunk Pacey raised his hands, 'put your hands down Pacey and get the fuck behind us.'

The arrest was intense, as Doug called for back up and a stand off occurred as they waited. To the police's credit they made it sound like there was another cop car in the area by chance looking at a suspected burglary. As they waited in tense silence, Pacey playing at the drunk, moaning about lost love, all the while feeling frantic with fear that Joey was with the criminals on the other side of the room under the guard of Jack and Doug's guns. When one of the guards made a move for his gun Doug shot him without hesitation. Pacey wasn't sure he could have done the same but he knew that a firefight between them and the criminals would end in death, perhaps for them all. When the cops finally arrived they came in with guns drawn and Darren's body guards were handcuffed along with Darren, Charlie and Joey. Pacey glared at them all even though he wanted to take Joey in his arms, to pull her to safety, more than anything in the world.


	22. Chapter 22

**Ok guys, here it is the last part. I hope it gives you everything you need for closure from this story:-)**

 **A small plea - I never get a good review rate for the last chapters of my stories. It breeds tons of insecurity and leaves me less satisfied than I think I should feel - completing a story is seriously tough! So please review. If you read and liked it, hated it, liked it and then hated it. Thought it was ok, could be improved in this way or that. All feedback is incredibly useful and adored!**

 **Thanks, Tab xx**

 **Chapter 22**

'Back where we first met,' Pacey mused as he stepped into the holding area. Joey looked up at him from the floor of her cell where she was curled up much like she had been that first night.

'You on one side of the bars and me on the other,' she arched an eyebrow.

'Well we can deal with _that_ ,' he pulled out his keys and unlocked the cell. She was on her feet and wrapped up tightly against his chest in what felt like a heart beat, her face pressed against the skin of his neck, her breath warming the skin there.

'Pacey,' she said his name with such warmth and emotion that the stress just seemed to seep out of him, though he clung onto her tighter, pressing kisses into her hair. When she burst into tears he moved them to the bench and pulled her onto his lap.

'I'm sorry,' she sniffed.

'Why do you always apologize for crying? You don't need to be sorry,' he pushed her hair from her face, desperate to just look at her even if her eyes were red from tears and her face scrunched up with sadness.

'Just because I...I had so much anger and it's just been carrying me through and now...I just, I can just be. With you, I can just be...' she let out a sound that broke his heart and because there were no words to make it better, because she had something very real to cry about, he held her for a long, long time, his hand moving over her back, through her hair, and at length taking hers.

'I'm really glad you're ok,' he said when she was finally still.

'I'm not sure I am,' she admitted.

'You don't need to be ok in that way. I mean I want you to be ok, but you don't need to be, not yet. I should have said I'm glad you're safe.'

'I feel safe with you,' she looked at him with bloodshot eyes, her skin puffy and blotchy but she still looked just as beautiful to him.

'Then you should always be with me,' he teased softly and was rewarded with a small but genuine smile.

'I love you Pacey,' she said. 'I'm sorry I had to say horrible things, that I had to push you away, I'm sorry I hurt you. I promise I will always be honest from now on. I hated every second of not being able to speak honestly with you.'

'I would appreciate that,' he told her truthfully.

'What happens now?' she asked, refusing to shift off his lap, not that he wanted her to.

'Well you definitely won't have to testify. Jack, Doug and I will be testifying and Charlie wants to testify against his father. He'll go into witness protection.'

'So he wasn't all bad?'

'No, I guess not, though he made a move on another guys girl.'

'Another guys girl? Are we back in the nineteen fifties?'

'Oh haha,' he blushed. 'Seriously though, maybe he isn't all bad and he genuinely seemed to be in the dark about his father. I imagine he thought your dealings with his dad were more legitimate. He can't stop lamenting what his father may have made you do, so I think he's sorry.'

'Poor Charlie I guess. It sucks to come from a family like mine but at least I always knew. No one lied to me.'

'No.'

'Maybe I shouldn't be celebrating that no one cared enough to lie.'

'Maybe we can think of it that they didn't want to exclude you from their lives. I can't say what your parents were thinking but I can't imagine anyone not loving you,' he took her hand.

'I don't know whether they were ever in a fit state to love me,' she admitted. 'I think they were ok with me. Perhaps indifferent, but they felt like my family.'

'You and Bessie were close?'

'We were all each other really had. She was different to me, more like my mom like I said. She was so depressed growing up about everything. When we were hungry she was the defeatist. I, on the other hand, wouldn't say die. I'd go steal, even as a kid while Bessie would cry about the unfairness of it all at home. I've missed her since she left but I always had my anger to fall back on, to keep it from becoming too much. Now I miss her without anything to drag me from it. It's like this darkness just sitting in my belly, threatening to consume me. I keep thinking about her last moments. About what went through her head. I wonder if she thought of Alex, of me, or whether she was happy to finally have an end to it all.'

'I wish I'd met her,' he admitted and she nodded,

'I wish you'd met her too. It would be nice if you knew a member of my family. She wasn't a bad person. I know she left her baby and I know she left me, but she really wasn't a bad person.'

'I believe you,' he reassured.

'Am I going to prison?' she asked.

'I'll speak to Anna tomorrow. First thing. She'll be at your hearing.'

'I wish I didn't have to stay here alone,' she held him tighter.

'You don't. I'm staying here with you. We can't let you out but I can come in. I know the bed sucks, but do you want to try and get some sleep? You look so tired.'

'You're staying?' she gripped his face with her hands and when he nodded she kissed him, 'then yes I'd like to sleep. God I've barely slept for weeks. I've been tormented by images in my head and I've missed you so, so much.'

'Why did you stop sharing a bed with me?' It was one of the things that had hurt him most.

'When I'm close to you, well I'm _close_ to you. I couldn't share a bed and distance myself enough. When Charlie asked if you were sleeping with me outside the station, he knew you were telling the truth. People know these things and I knew it had to be true.'

'Well we can be close now,' he offered as they curled up on the hard prison bed, her back tucked up against his chest.

' _Close_?' she asked in a tone he knew well, though obviously teasing, her hand smoothing over his stomach under his tshirt.

'Unfortunately not _that_ close - they have cameras in the cells,' he chuckled and she turned to kiss him, before turning away again and placing her hands over his.

'Good night Pace.'

'Night Jo.'

* * *

'Hi Joey, how are you?' Anna sat in interview room one with both Joey and Pacey. 'Pacey, you really should leave us,' his sister suggested but both he and Joey shook their heads at the same time. Anna laughed at them, 'that's a no then?'

'That's a no,' Joey voiced, 'he knows everything anyway.'

'What do you want to happen here Joey?' Anna asked surprising Pacey.

'For Darren to go to jail for a long, long time. For him to be unaware of my role in this.'

'That means you're implemented for conspiracy to sell andd other charges, potentially trafficking,' Anna frowned.

'I know. I mean, I knew all that going into this, that I'd probably end up back in jail.'

'But you didn't do anything. You weren't even going to. You were working with the police,' Anna stared with a slightly bewildered expression on her face at the younger girl.

'People like Darren don't forget it if you double cross them. They also don't lose all their power just because they go to prison. It has to be that things went down the way he thinks they did. I need to be implemented and I'll go to jail if it keeps Alex safe, Pacey safe and eventually allows me a safe life.'

'You're looking at anywhere from five to twenty years. Five years is mandatory for a Class A felony which trafficking of heroine is.'

'Oh,' Joey's face fell as Pacey exclaimed,

'But she's entirely innocent.'

'Before we start panicking, that is a worst case scenario. If Charlie indicates that there was some blackmailing going on, if he testifies against his father for the deaths of Bessie and Bodie then we are looking at a very, very different case. I'm pretty sure you wouldn't have to testify against the guy, you wouldn't be implemented in the same way and we could perhaps get you off with community service.'

'We have to do that,' Pacey rushed to say, filled with burgeoning hope.

'No, we do whatever's best, whatever will draw least suspicion.'

'Joey, you can't go to prison for five years, you can't...' Pacey couldn't believe what she was saying.

'Sit by while the people I care about die?' she asked turning to him, 'I will go to prison for five years if it means Alex gets to love a happy, healthy life, if it means nothing happens to you. I'll go for twenty.'

'And what about you Joey? What about what you want? And need?'

'That's all I really need, believe me,' she sighed.

'Look Joey,' Anna interrupted, 'I think we should see how Charlie plans to play this. I'll talk with his lawyer and then come back and see you. Bail has been set at fifty grand so...'

'I'm stuck in here,' she nodded, 'that's ok. I should probably get used to it.'

'They may move you to the state penitentiary though,' Anna warned and Pacey frowned,

'Well surely Doug can fix it that...'

'Come on Pace, you know it doesn't work like that.'

'I'm sorry Joey,' he turned to her but she looked away for a moment before looking at him with bright eyes,

'I'll be ok. It's ok.'

* * *

'Potter,' he said her name and she looked up at him from the corner of her cell.

'Pace,' her face relaxed as she smiled at him.

'Guess what?'

'What?' she walked to the bars and slipped her hands through to take his.

'You're coming home with me,' he sing songed, loving the confusion that wrote itself across her features.

'Huh?'

'Guess who's dad does in fact have a heart?'

'Your dad paid my bail?' she looked as bewildered as he must have done when Doug told him. His father didn't stick around for a conversation on the matter with his youngest son, that wasn't his style.

'Yeah - that was my expression,' he grinned.

'But why?' she didn't immediately exit the cell even though he opened the door.

'My dad only does something like that if he respects someone. He'll have been advising Dougy on this the whole way through, for sure. Rather typically he's said nothing to me.'

'Well I don't really care if it means I get to come home with you rather than go to the state penitentiary,' she gave a cautious smile, clearly weary of being too happy.

'I think this is more down to Doug than anyone,' Pacey admitted. 'Or perhaps Jack. My dad loves Jack.'

'Well I'll be thanking them all,' she said simply. 'Now please, please can we go home. I feel like I need to hold Alex for an extra long time.'

'Now I know that feeling,' he smiled because he adored Alex and the anticipation of one of his fierce baby hugs certainly gave Pacey contentment.

'Then I want Alex to go to bed so I can make the most of you in your comfy bed without cameras. Well unless you want cameras?' she gave him a lopsided smile and he pulled her close.

* * *

'I'm sorry,' she brushed the tears from her eyes and rested her ear against his chest,

'You don't ever have to be sorry,' he assured her running his fingers through his hair.

'It's so stupid because I want this,' she gestured to their nakedness. 'I want you inside of me more than anything. I've missed being physically close so much that I would dream about it every night and yet when it comes to it everything overwhelms me and I cry.'

'Contrary to my raging hard on and general handsyness I am not only with you for your body and sex.'

'I know but it's so...frustrating and embarrassing and pathetic and...'

'Don't call yourself pathetic,' he told her. 'You can take as much time as you need. I have a hand if I get too desperate,' he joked and was rewarded with a small smile though her tears. 'As much as I hate seeing you cry, you do look very cute,' he pressed a finger to the tip of her nose.

'I don't think I do cute,' she protested and he shrugged,

'You do. In fact you do cute so well I'm going to draw you,' he reached over to her side of the bed and grabbed an old sketchbook and a pencil.

' _You're_ going to draw me?' she frowned.

'Yep,' he nodded, shifting back on the bed, his eyes on her where she was curled up on a pillow on his lap. ' _Like one of my French girls,_ ' he risked the Titanic joke and was rewarded by a watery smile.

'You're ridiculously nerdy,' she informed him watching his hand as it moved across the paper. For five minutes they were silent as she watched him draw her. Then she tutted as he drew a pair of cartoonish boobs.

'Did you tut at my art work?' he asked and she shifted from her position until she was alongside him.

'I didn't tsk because the picture is bad. You actually did well with the shape and shading,' she plucked the pencil from his hand and added a few more lines here and there and some shading,

'So why did you tsk?'

'A cartoon boob on this pretty picture?' she asked and he shrugged.

'I was never gonna do you justice,' he explained.

'So you thought you'd give me a boob job and increase my cuppage?'

'I think you're perfect but cartoon boobs are either really small or really big and I went big.'

'Even though my boobs are really small?' she bit her lip to try and not smile.

'Really small?' he squinted, turning his full focus to her chest. 'I don't know,' he pondered them some more brushing his thumbs over her nipples as he cupped them in his hands, 'I think you're exaggerating.'

'No I think you are,' she tapped his picture pointedly.

'Fine,' he released her chest trailing his hands down her ribs before reaching to her side of the bed again and retrieving an eraser from the nightstand. He carefully erased the cartoon boobs, 'you draw them for me,' he handed her the sketch pad and watched as she skillfully filled in her missing anatomy.

'Much better. You wanna draw me?' he asked and then grinned, 'I don't mind if you want to enlarge my cock. I will not make you erase it and draw it in proportionally.'

'Hmm, I'm so surprised,' she toyed with the pencil. She hadn't drawn voluntarily since she was told about Bessie and Bodie. After a few moments she turned the page and moved to the opposite end of the bed before tugging down the covers until he was lying there naked. 'You're still turned on?' she sounded half horrified, half impressed.

'Well I've spent the last few minutes focussing rather intently on you naked. Of course I'm turned on.'

'Makes me want to do something about it,' she admitted,

'Draw it,' he suggested knowing that sex would be too much, that clearly her emotions were very near the surface.

She didn't say anything but put the pencil to the paper and began to sketch. He couldn't describe the emotions he felt at seeing her sketching again, but he had to force back tears. Clearly she wasn't the only one with emotions very near to the surface.

'Done,' she said eventually and crawled up the bed and handed him the sketch. He laughed loudly because she'd drawn him the opposite way to how he'd drawn her. He was a cartoon but she'd drawn his cock with artistic reality. 'You like it?'

'I imagined I'd look bigger,' he teased putting the notebook aside and wrapping his arms around her.

'You're big enough,' she told him.

'Right back at ya toots.'

'You making reference to my chest?'

'Yep,' he grinned and loved how eagerly she initiated a kiss.

* * *

'I've got good news,' Anna paced the kitchen unable to stay still as Alex put cars on a car garage beside the table where they were sat.

'Well spit it out,' Pacey prompted.

'Charlie is going after his dad in every way. He's saying his dad used him to coerce you into meeting with him, that he admitted to being behind the deaths of your sister and Bodie, that you'd been a mess the last few weeks and extremely jumpy. His statement declares that you were scared. That you probably feared for your life. It does say that you knew what would be expected of you going back in there but that you only agreed to the meeting after pressure from Charlie himself and after the deaths of your family.'

'And that all means?'

'I'm optimistic that it means community service, if that. Pacey, you get to be a character witness - you can say that she changed over the last few weeks. Andie and Debra from the library also volunteered.'

'They did?' Joey frowned her surprise.

'Kerry went and spoke to them and they came to me. That girl can make anything happen. Kerry will be one too. Jack is also going to be a character witness as he's your best friend Pace.'

'Good, because he owes me.'

'We'll also get teachers from school, anyone we need. No one can dispute that you changed after the very obvious threat from Darren, not to mention the grief.'

'Thank you Anna,' Joey said. 'I don't know how I'll ever repay you.'

'You make my brother happy. Well unless you're secretly helping the cops, then you make him miserable but generally speaking he's happiest around you. Keep doing what you're doing.'

'Do you think...I don't know...that the library would take me back?' Joey asked tentatively and Pacey's heart warmed because despite her snarly personality at times she really did care about her work, about the life she had begun to carve for herself.

'I think Debra would have you back,' Anna said, she after all and spoken to them. 'Andie thinks you're atrocious, mainly because she's green with envy, but she said you were a good worker, always on time, hardworking, honest. They both spoke highly of you and said everything changed after the death of your sister and Bodie.'

'Everything did change,' Joey said in lowered tones, 'I mean my whole life is different now. It wasn't all an act.'

'I know that,' Anna reassured her. 'If they haven't filled the job and they knew you want it back, I think they would have you. I'll get Kerry to speak to them.'

'Actually I'll call her,' Joey said and Pacey looked to her in surprise for she had never voluntarily contacted anyone in that way. 'Or I'll go in myself. They may only have me for a while though, even if they do take me back.'

'Huh? Why?' Pacey asked frowning.

'Anna is optimistic,' she reminded him, 'we don't know what judge I'll get, nor how the jury will feel. I absolutely cannot go around thinking it's community service and then end up in jail. That would break me. I'm thinking I'm going to jail and then I am at least prepared.'

'And you should do the same,' Anna told him and he nodded angrily, angrily because he really didn't want that to happen.

* * *

'You alright buddy?' Jack put a hand on his arm as he dropped into the seat next to him. Doug sat opposite, always less tactile than his friend.

'No,' Pacey shook his head.

'It's only forty days,' Doug reminded him, 'it could have been five years if they hadn't dropped the trafficking charges.'

'I know, I know. These things can always be worse, but it doesn't make _this_ feel any better.'

'It's minimum security and it's drivable, you have to look at the positives,' Jack reassured.

'Easy for you to say when you get to go home to your boyfriend every night.'

'Pacey...' his brother chastised.

'Don't "Pacey" me ok? She helped you guys. She did it all so we could get the real bad guy. All her bad behaviour was sanctioned and yet she's in prison and we're sat in some stupid bar ordering beer and burgers.'

'You know that she was absolutely willing for this to happen and it's a small price to pay for living the rest of her life fear free,' Doug continued.

'Fear free?' his tone was sceptical, 'she'll never be fear free.'

'Well no, but she didn't testify against the bad guy, she was charged alongside him and she's gone to prison. Charlie Todd basically took the fall for her. It's better than we could have hoped for.'

'I just...I find it hard to understand...'

'What?' Jack asked.

'That she'd go into this knowing she might be in prison for twenty years, or five at the very least. I mean, going into this she had no idea that Charlie would be decent, that he'd save her from prison. She was willing to sacrifice her whole life for this.'

'Love is a powerful driver,' Doug shrugged.

'And there's no doubt that she loves you and Alex an awful lot. You might be an unusually put together family, but you are one.'

'A fractured one. Joey is the only mother Alex has ever known and she's gone...'

'Stop this deprecating cycle of pity Pace,' Jack spoke firmly. 'The next forty days are going to suck for both you and Alex but you get her back. You really get her back. And yes she'll be different. Prison is an awful experience, especially for the innocent, but she'll be different because of all her experiences. She helped us out. She worked with us. She no longer needs to be scared. She no longer owes someone. She isn't under the behest of Darren anymore. He's gone and her silence paid her debt. She'll be different because she's free to openly pursue a life she wants without fear of losing it. She'll be nineteen when she's out, older and wiser. She loves you and she loves Alex. I know she's suffered a lot, but I hope, I think we all hope, that once these forty days are done she will be happier.'

Pacey stared at him for a long moment his mind went over Jack's words,

'I guess we'll see in forty days.'

* * *

'Where are we going?' Joey asked from the back seat where she was sat beside Alex, talking to him about books and toys. There was no denying that Alex was pleased to see Joey, nor that Joey was pleased to see him. Pacey had visited with Alex - every week for six weeks and it was better than not visiting even though it had been unbearably hard to leave her there. Being able to hold her in his arms after so long was amazing, even if she had cried and clung to him and Alex. She'd rested her head on his chest for a long, long time until Gretchen had suggested they get home. Gretchen offered to sit in the back, but Pacey knew Joey needed to be near Alex, to see him and marvel at the wonder of the small child and so Joey sat in the back and he sat beside his sister.

'Surprise,' Pacey shrugged.

'Is Alex coming?'

'Nope, he's having aunty time,' Gretchen turned in her seat and squeezed Alex's foot making him smile.

'Oh,' Joey's face fell slightly,

'Don't worry. You have the rest of the week to be mom. I can only have him today and I think Pace here might explode if he doesn't get some alone time with ya.'

'Poor Pacey,' Joey smirked and squeezed his shoulder.

'Explode is such a poor choice of word,' he blushed.

'Is it?' Joey teased and his blush deepened.

'Look, I promise it won't be too much,' Pacey told her, catching her eye in the rear view mirror.

'I trust you,' she said simply.

* * *

'You realize it's freezing out?' she smiled as she stared at the boat.

'Well today we're going below deck, we're gonna lie on the mattress with the heater on and look at the stars. Well you can look at the stars, I pretty much plan on looking at you.'

'Ok,' she laughed in amusement and climbed on board, touching his back lightly as he unlocked the cabin. 'Wow, you turned this place into duvet heaven,' she laughed again looking around at the fairy lights he'd strung and the double bed literally laden with cushions, pillows and duvets. 'I think we'll be warm enough.'

'I have sparkling water and pizza is on its way.'

'Just like our first date,' she grinned.

'Apparently I still can't keep my hands off of you,' he rolled his eyes self deprecatingly as he noted his hands on her shoulders.

'Wouldn't want you to,' she said easily. 'Please tell me you have spare clothes?'

'Not fond of your post prison duds?'

'They smell institutional,' she told him unzipping her hoody as he put the heater on.

'I have spare clothes. I'm a cop, I know no one likes their release clothes.'

'At least they're mine and they're not grey pyjamas,' she pushed off her jeans.

'True, they're black!' he teased, staring rather blatantly between her legs at her black panties.

'Hm, I like dark colours,' she shrugged and turned her focus to him as she peeled off her tank. She wasn't wearing a bra and Pacey was absolutely sure his eyes bugged. 'You're staring darlin,'

'You're gorgeous darlin,' he abandoned getting plates and drinks for stepping closer.

'Don't start anything,' she warned and he swallowed his disappointment even though he understood. 'Pizza will be here soon,' she reminded him as she shimmied out of her panties and lay on the fluffy duvets.

'Pizza?' he echoed blankly staring at her. She was thinner, but he wasn't surprised - prison food was notoriously bad. She was just as perfect even with more hair between her legs and indeed on her legs. He knew she had had no access to a razor so he wasn't surprised, just turned on.

'Hmm, you said you ordered some,' she lay back, her legs opening a little. He licked his lips,

'I was stupid,' he dropped to the bed and slid a hand up her calf and onto her thigh. 'Too much?' he asked and she shook her head, so he ran his hand higher. 'Too much?' he asked again. She shook her head and then sunk back into the bed with a moan as he slid a finger over her clit, before taunting her with it.

'Inside of me,' she demanded and put her hand on his, pushing his finger into her. 'Oh,' she sighed as she did so.

'Been a while huh?' he shifted himself so he could look at both her face and his hand between her legs.

'Nah, I had Tina in prison take care of me,' she shrugged.

'Really?' his hand ceased to move. She laughed,

'No. I could have but no,' she pulled his face to hers and kissed him, 'I only want you.'

'Was Tina pretty?'

'Very,' she smirked.

'Hmmm,' he closed his eyes for a second and allowed his imagination to saunter through paths untraveled.

'Back to me now,' she slapped his cheek lightly and he opened his eyes, and chuckled,

'Always with you baby,' he kissed her, relieved when she rolled on top of him allowing his hands to smooth over the soft skin of her naked ass.

'Get your pants off Pace,' she moved up his body so she was straddling his waist.

'Or you can slide a little higher,' he offered, thrilled with the way she smiled down at him, her hair cascading in waves around her face.

'That would be nice,' she smiled, 'but I'd rather you take your pants off.'

'If you're sure?' he cupped her cheek in his hand.

'Stop asking,' she scowled, 'I'm better.'

'Prison made you feel better?' he asked sceptically.

'Time's made me feel better. And lots of time to think,' she tasked in irritation and turned around and undid his belt and popped his top button.

'Jo, I'm glad you feel better,' he told her.

'Because I'll fuck you again?' she asked as he lifted his hips and pushed his pants and boxers down. She'd swung back round to look at him,

'No because I love you. The fact that you want to fuck again is just a perk.'

'So sweet,' she smirked as she shifted their bodies together, until he was fully and wonderfully inside of her. 'Oh, that feels nice,' she sighed.

'Nice?' he groaned as she rocked.

'Taking issue with my choice of adjective?' she sat up and rocked again.

'Yes,' he trailed his hands up and cupped her tits. 'This feels amazing.'

'So nobody named Tina or something offered to do this for you?'

'Audrey offered,' he told her honestly.

'Doesn't she always?' Joey had been unimpressed the couple of times she'd met the control operator Audrey.

'Always,' he agreed knowing he wouldn't last long if she kept moving the way she was and so moved his hand between them to her clit, brought even closer to the edge by her growl of appreciation.

'You said no?'

'Always,' he said again.

'I'm going to come,' she fell forward, so the soft skin of her chest met his, effectively knocking his hand out the way, then rocked again before crying out, her eyes scrunching tightly closed and her face finding the crook of his neck, as she continued to move even as her orgasm flew through her. It was enough for him. Pretty much anything and everything she did was enough for him, and he rolled them over before pulling out so his come shot all over her stomach and chest. Heedless to the mess, he rested his body on hers and kissed her repeatedly,

'I love you,' his forehead pressed to hers. 'I mean hopelessly, ridiculously, head over heels in love.'

'I love you Pace,' she cuddled his head. 'Now put some clothes on as the pizza guy has been out there calling hello for the last thirty seconds.'

'He has?' Pacey tuned his ears outwards and heard the guy. 'Thank god he didn't try the door.'

* * *

'We need to talk,' Joey was sat with her sketchbook on her knees in the living room when he came in from work.

'We do?' she looked at him with a slight frown on her perfect face.

'Yep,' he nodded as he locked away his gun and then washed his hands.

'What about?'

'You and me,' he squeezed himself into the armchair with her, pulling her onto his lap.

'Did I do something wrong?' Her frown deepened.

'You've been back, what, five months now?'

'Five months and a week,' she swivelled on his lap to look at him.

'And we've done _it,_ and by it I mean sex, what? One hundred million times since then?'

'Give or take,' she smiled, a smile he returned.

'You like art school right?'

'Right.'

'And you like working at the library?' They had given her back her job upon her release and though she wasn't especially friendly with the other staff, she did love her job.

'Love it,' she admitted freely.

'You given any thought about what you'd like to do when you graduate school?'

'Hmmm, a little.'

'Does it involve a baby?'

'Maybe not yet,' she admitted.

'Then we need to talk about birth control,' he grinned and she hit him. 'Hey, what's that for?' he asked with a wounded expression,

'For coming in all, _we need to talk about you and me_.'

'Well we do,' he protested amiably.

'I'll go on the pill,' she offered easily.

'Or I could just be better at using condoms,' he countered.

'Because that's worked so well for us thus far,' she rolled her eyes.

'Hey, you're not pregnant.'

'I think that's more to do with luck than anything else,' she pointed out.

Well I'm happy with the pill if you are?'

'Sure,' she agreed.

'So you don't want my baby anymore?' he pouted and she ruffled his hair,

'Of course I do. I just had this vision of me starting a little business first, so when I stayed home with the kids we wouldn't be entirely broke.'

'Kids?'

'Well Alex and whoever else we get.'

'I want six,' he told her grandly and she pinched him lightly,

'Three.'

'Five,' he smirked.

'Four,' she countered with a smile of her own.

'Deal,' he grasped her hand and shook.

'That's Alex plus three not Alex plus four.'

'Of course,' he nodded.

'And you know I want a family. That a family is all I want,' she shrugged.

'I think it would be good for Al to have brothers and sisters.'

'And a mom and dad,' Joey scowled.

'I know, I know,' he held her tightly. His formal adoption of Alex was in the system but Joey wasn't approved due to her criminal record. 'Your still his mom. You love him, put him to bed, read his stories, give him baths, teach him right from wrong...'

'Ironically in _their_ eyes...'

'You've stepped up and into the role of mother without being asked and no piece of paper can change that.'

'Or lack of paper,' she pouted.

'Look at that pout, still a teenager at heart,' he teased to lighten the mood,

'Still a teenager in years old man,' she pointed out.

'Less of the old man missy,' he picked up her sketch book and flicked through to see graffiti style designs on each page. 'These are awesome,' he told her with blatant honesty, 'I love the colour and the funking up of everyday things...' he stared at the flower.

'I thought I might try pretty too...just black on white. Classier for the older market...'

'Wow,' he stared at a forest of trees and the ripples of a lake. 'Love them.'

'It's still a work in progress,' she shrugged as the book dropped open to the last three pages.

'What's all this?'

'Oh,' she blushed. 'Nothing.'

'Tell me,' he urged.

'Oh I found some wholesalers of unglazed mugs. This one is most reasonable,' she tapped the page, 'and sells the mug shapes I liked. Then I looked up kilns and all that. The rest is just ideas on where to sell. I thought maybe a stall at the market every weekend and then there's this tiny store on Water street. It's been "to let" for months, so I don't need to rush it, though at first enquiry they don't want to let to an ex con. But I was looking at the cost of refurbs and all the rest of it, just so I could know for the future. That'll probably not happen, not until I make and start to sell and people in this town see that I'm different. First things first and all that.'

'Wow, I'm impressed,' he nuzzled his face into her neck. 'I think you're amazing.'

'I think this is something I could do is all.'

'Oh I know you could do it,' he agreed.

* * *

'How's it going Jo?' Pacey and Alex slipped behind the counter at Joey's booth at the Christmas market and she turned her unamused face to his for a brief second as she helped the next person. 'Ok Al, you hold on to Dada's head nice and tight,' he swung the kid onto his shoulders and Alex wrapped his arms around his head. 'So I can see man, so I can see,' the kid shifted his arms, as Pacey began to help.

Half an hour later there was a lull,

'Business is good then?'

'Probably because I don't overcharge,' she shrugged.

'Probably because everything you sell is made really, really well.'

'I'll admit that the tree ornaments turned out really well,' she agreed.

'And the cards, the coasters, the mugs...' he teased pulling Alex from his shoulders.

'Alex help,' he told them both.

'You helped loads.'

'I'm hungry,' he looked to Pacey.

'Sure, sure, bud. That's why we came to see your mama,' Pacey pulled a bag from where he dropped it. It had taken a long time for Joey to accept Alex calling her mama. Pacey had argued that they were the kids parents and that he'd always know the truth - that really Pacey was an accidental parent and that Joey was his aunt, but that they were bringing him up as his parents and that if they had kids together it would be nicer and more inclusive for Alex if they all called them mom and dad. Joey had caved at that.

'I ate cake mama,' Alex told her and she pulled him onto her knee.

'Was it good?'

'No way. Raisins in it,' he made a funny face and Joey laughed,

'Dada buy you a piece of Christmas cake huh?'

'And for you,' Alex explained. 'Show her, show her.'

Pacey waggled the bag with cake in it at Joey, 'but not until after your salad.'

'No greens, no cake,' Alex stated so seriously she laughed. He then squirmed his way off of Pacey and stood before her display table. 'Can I hold?' he asked grabbing a decoration and Pacey scooped him up,

'And that's our cue to leave,' he took the pretty beaded star and put it back on the display.

'He can touch it,' Joey said, 'but carefully Al, then it goes back on.'

'Please dada,' he held out his hands and Pacey put the decoration in his hands with a sigh,

'You are into everything at the moment Mister.'

'He's two and a half, I think that's normal,' Joey smiled.

'So Jack said he'd babysit tonight,' Pacey looked at his girlfriend, everything inside of him warming at her expression of pleasure.

'Are we going to the boat?'

'Whatever you'd like,' he would give her the world.

'Boat,' she nodded. 'I can give you one of your Christmas presents early.'

'You've been giving me early Christmas presents all year,' he teased.

'Well this one will be on the boat,' she narrowed her eyes at him.

'Hey, I'm not complaining. The more early Christmas presents I get, the better.'

'You surprise me,' she smirked.

'Good, so it's a date,' he kissed her, Alex worming his way between them,

'Park now dada?' he asked.

'Once I kiss mama goodbye,' Pacey agreed.

* * *

'You want to drink tequila?' Joey frowned.

'Don't you always say "it's tradition"?'

'I do. Wow, this date snuck up quickly this year. When you said Nack was babysitting I didn't realize it was because of this.'

'I thought we could do a shot here to Jen's memory and then more on the boat if you want. You know, keep you out of trouble.'

'It's not like I forgot today,' Joey frowned, 'I just hadn't realized it was here.'

'You've been busy, what with the Christmas fairs. I mean why they gotta be in November anyway? And you're a mom. Now Alex is only in daycare three mornings a week you have a lot less time.'

'I know. I just...hate to think that she'd think I've forgotten her because I haven't. I don't think I ever will.'

'I know that,' Pacey shrugged. 'Hence the tequila.'

'I can't believe _you_ remembered,' she shook her head.

'To be fair I'm normally called out to have words with you,' he teased and she gave him a reluctant smile,

'I'll give you that.' She watched as he poured them each a shot. 'So civilized.'

'I know you like to chug from the bottle normally but...'

'This is great,' she reassured and took her glass, 'to Jen, my best friend. I really wish you were still here.' Pacey nodded and downed his shot watching Joey pour hers into the water. He frowned,

'You poured it away.'

'You're not supposed to drink when you're pregnant,' she shrugged as if she were telling him it was sunny out, rather than that she had his baby in her belly.

'What?' his eyes flicked between hers and her stomach.

'I promise I took the pill as I'm supposed to,' she took a step back.

'I know, I saw you,' he said.

'I...did. They said it occasionally happens,' she frowned.

'Are you not happy about this?' he asked cautiously.

'Me? I'm really, really happy. I just don't want you to think I'm trying to trap you or...'

'Joey, shush,' he ordered, 'seriously, I trust you entirely and I couldn't be happier,' a smile spread across his face, 'I mean...that's amazing,' he dropped to his knees so his eyes were level with her stomach. 'Wow,' he pushed a hand inside her coat and up her sweater, brushing his hand across the flat, smooth skin. 'I mean seriously wow.'

'Is wow a good thing?'

'God yes Jo. I mean I love you like crazy. It's not like we don't know the realities of having a baby, of having a kid. We do great as well. You know it's funny?' he looked up at her.

'What is?'

'I have a present for you. It seems even more perfect now. Come,' he stood and took her hand dragging her down the dock to his boat. He helped her on board because the deck was icy and they went into the cabin where he turned on the heater and the fairy lights watching her strip off her coat, sweater and boots before curling on the bed. She misinterpreted his look,

'If you want me to take off all my clothes you need to wait until this place warms up.'

'No, no... Well I mean yes, I want you to take off all your clothes, but I was only looking at you and thinking that you're beautiful, that I can't believe you have my baby in there,' he crabbed something from his bag and flopped onto the bed beside her. She didn't look pregnant in her black skinny jeans and low cut top that had been hidden by her sweater. She looked extremely hot.

'I have a scan next week, Monday morning if you can spare an hour.'

'Hell yeah,' he nodded and presented with the badly wrapped present. She took it and narrowed her eyes,

'Is this the mug you made?'

'Yep,' he grinned proudly watching as she unwrapped it and took in the design.

'Will you marry me?' she read out loud and smiled.

'Yes, will you marry me?' he reached into the mug and pulled out a ring, a small gold band inlaid with diamonds. Her eyes widened at the sight of it and he waited, trying not to look as nervous as he felt.

'Yes, I would love to marry you,' she answered and he slipped the ring on her finger with a grin.

'Talk about an eventful night.'

'You really didn't know I was pregnant?'

'You mean when I made this mug four weeks ago? No I didn't. Besides wouldn't have made a difference. I've been planning this for ages.'

'You have?'

'Yep. Took me ages to find a ring I thought you'd love.'

'I do love it,' she agreed.

'Then I had to make and finish the mug without you seeing.'

'Tricky when I'm so overprotective of my kiln.'

'Yep,' he agreed. 'Then I had to ask Al for permission and it was really tough getting him to understand what I meant. He thought we were married already it seems,' he grinned at her slightly horrified when she burst into tears. 'Oh god Jo, I didn't want to make you cry.

'Oh god, I blame hormones. I'm not sad, I just can't believe I get this life when I never thought I'd have anything like this. Why can't I stop crying?' she asked as tears fell from her eyes. 'I'm this horrific mess of tears and snot. So attractive,' she rubbed her eyes smearing her mascara and eyeliner. Pacey bit his lip in an attempt not to laugh.

'I think I quite like this vulnerable, pregnant you,' he teased instead, passing her a tissue. She blew her nose, then took another tissue to dry her eyes, cleaning up the smeared makeup.

'Ugh, I bet I look like someone punched me.'

'You look gorgeous. Always.'

'I love you Pace,' she told him and peeled off her top so she lay in her black lace bra and jeans. 'Distracts from my smudged makeup,' she explained.

'Hmm, yeah it does,' he rolled on top of her. 'Seriously Jo. This is the best day of my life.'

'Mine too.'


End file.
